She shrugged, looking at me apologetically. “I said I was sorry!”
I sighed. “But the other two managed to choose washable pens! If this doesn’t come off by Monday…”
As it had turned out, my three adorable, loving, sweet sisters had all grabbed pens at random as soon as I was asleep. Lisa was apparently the one that designed the ‘Rosie’s bitch’ slogan with the arrow pointing to my crotch. Unfortunately for me, she’d grabbed a black sharpie. The guys were going to rip me to shreds at work on Monday if it wasn’t gone by then.
I narrowed my eyes at her accusingly. I’d get her back though later, when they were all asleep, they’d all get theirs! I already had a plan, I just needed to wait until they were least expecting it.
Paige moaned, clutching her stomach. “Please can we stop talking about it? I can’t laugh anymore, I hurt all over!” she complained, still chuckling.
I pulled out a piece of lettuce from my burger and threw it at her, scowling. “As eldest girl you should have been responsible for the pens!”
She just laughed harder, shaking her head. “Oh, Nate, I wish you came here more often.”
Suddenly, from the corner of my eye, I saw Hannah stop laughing and sit straighter in her chair. She was looking over my shoulder at something. Her eyes drifted to me. “Please don’t hurt him!” she begged.
Hurt him? I turned in my seat, looking in the direction she was staring in. A guy in his early twenties was walking towards us with a small, scared expression on his face. He was average build, messy brown hair. Then it hit me who this was. This was the little punk that dared to date my little sister!
When he reached the table, Hannah stood, smiling reassuringly as she took his hand. “Hey, Robert,” she greeted, her voice a little tight.
“Hey, Han,” he answered, smiling at her affectionately.
Han? What the hell? Who on earth calls someone that? Idiot! His face was moving towards hers, going to kiss her, so I leapt out of my chair and cleared my throat dramatically. He pulled back immediately. Paige and Lisa started to giggle again as they watched.
“Robert, is it?” I asked, looking him over slowly, taking in everything from his sneakers to his wrinkled shirt.
He swallowed awkwardly. “Yeah. You’re obviously Nate. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“Yeah.”
Hannah cleared her throat. “Well, how about we get some food, Robert? You hungry?” she asked, obviously trying to ease the tension in the air.
He nodded gratefully. I watched as she pulled him over to the grill, the pair of them whispering, Hannah shooting little glances over at me warning me to behave. For the rest of the night I watched him. He was all smiles for her, holding her hand, making her giggle and blush. They seemed to have a lot in common. He was a student at her college. Apparently, they’d been friends for the last six months, neither of them wanting to make the first move on the other.
After a couple of hours of joking around and catching up, my parents stood up. “Right then, we’re going to bed,” my dad said as my mom smiled at him.
As they walked off, holding hands, I decided that now was the time to talk to the little punk, and then I could go call my girl. “Robert, want to help me get more wood for the burner?” I asked, nodding at the open fire we had on the patio.
Hannah shook her head fiercely. “We have plenty of wood right here,” she hissed, motioning towards the full basket next to the table.
I smirked at her. This was happening with or without her approval. “We’ll get some more in from the workshop around back. That way Dad won’t have to replace what we took tomorrow. Come on, Robert.” I stood, raising one eyebrow at him.
He nodded and stood too, his face paling. I matched my pace to his, and we walked towards the workshop. When we stepped in through the door, he stopped and looked at me curiously. “So, where’s the wood stored?” he asked politely, when I didn’t say anything.
“Let’s get this over with. We both know we’re not here to get wood, am I right?” I asked, cocking my head to the side as I sat on the counter.
Robert nodded, his eyes flicking to the door. “Yeah, but before you say anything, I just want you to know that I really like your sister. I’ve liked her for a long time, and we just want to see how it goes. You don’t need to be worried.”
“I’ll always be worried. That’s my baby sister out there that you want to put your hands on. Hell, maybe you already have,” I suggested.
He flinched and shook his head. “N-no?” he stuttered, making it sound more like a question.
I took his answer as a yes. He’d already had sex with my little sister. “Right,” I muttered sarcastically.
He shifted on his feet nervously as I stood up and walked closer to him. “Okay, Robert, you seem like a fairly nice guy, so I’m going to allow you to continue seeing my sister,” I said, nodding slowly, watching as his face relaxed. “But,” I added, “I’m just going to say this, and leave you to think about it. Thanks to my training, I can shoot you dead from hundreds of yards away. If you try to run, I can find you wherever you go. I have resources beyond your comprehension. If you hurt my sister, I swear, I will hunt you down and tear you limb from limb before I watch you bleed to death.” I was going for dramatic. He needed to know I was serious.
His eye twitched as he shifted on his feet again. I assessed him to see if he was going to run. If he still wanted my sister after I’d just threatened that, then maybe he deserved her.
“I really like your sister, Nate.”
I gripped his shoulder and smiled. “That’s good, because hiding bodies really isn’t my forte!”
He laughed nervously. “Right. You know, you and Hannah have the same sense of humour.”
“Yeah, we all have it. You’ll get used to it eventually.” I motioned back to the door. “Come on, let’s get back. If I keep you here any longer, Hannah’s going to use the screechy voice and it makes my ears bleed.”
He laughed and we made our way back over to them. When we rounded the corner, I could see the girls watching us curiously. Then I remembered that I’d forgotten to say something important. I smiled and leant closer to him. “Oh and, Robert, if you get my sister pregnant, I’m going to tear your balls off and shove them down your throat.” I smiled over at Hannah so she wouldn’t know I was threatening him again. He paled but nodded in understanding, so I patted him on the back. “Awesome, glad we understand each other.”
When we got to them, he walked straight to Hannah’s side. She looked up at me hopefully, so I gave her a small, approving nod.
“Right, now the brotherly duty is done for the night, I’m going to bed. See you all in the morning,” I called, immediately turning for the house because I was desperate to speak to Rosie again.
By the time I got to my bedroom, I was unsure if it was too late for me to call. It was after midnight. I sat on the edge of my bed fighting with myself as to whether I could call her or not. I really wanted to speak to her again, I hadn’t spoken to her since this morning, and I’d only text her twice, so I was already in some sort of pu**y whipped withdrawal state.
Deciding the best option was to text her and see if she was awake or not, I typed up a quick message and sent it to her.
‘Stripes, R U awake? Can I call U?’
I closed my eyes and hoped that she wasn’t already asleep. Instead of texting me back, she called me.
“Nate, do you know what time it is?” she asked as I answered, her voice thick with sleep.
I eyed the alarm clock guiltily, but she didn’t sound angry with me. “Yeah, it’s 12:11a.m. Sorry, I just really wanted to say goodnight.”
She laughed quietly. “Goodnight then, Nate,” she joked, pretending she was going to hang up.
“Want me to go and let you get back to sleep?” I asked, praying she’d say no and that I could talk to her for a few minutes.
“No, it’s okay. I’m awake now anyway.”
“Sweet.” Okay, time for some fun. “So,” I dropped my voice down, trying to sound sexy, “what are you wearing?”
She laughed. “Considering you woke me up, I’m wearing pyjamas.”
“And you’re already in bed, so my timing is perfect,” I teased, trying to contain my excitement. “Rosie?”
“Yeah?”
“Will you talk dirty to me?” I tried not to laugh as I mimicked her words from the night before.
There was silence on the other end of the line, and the easy smile fell from my face. I’d pushed it too far. She was drunk when she said it, so she either didn’t remember saying it to me – in which case she just thought I was a kinky pervert right now. Or, she just wasn’t into it after all and I had just scared her.
I slapped my palm on my forehead angrily, gritting my teeth. I needed to take it back quickly. Make this right, apologise and just ask if we could pretend like I never said anything. I sat up and gulped, starting to panic. I opened my mouth to apologise, when she spoke first.
“Right now? On the phone?” All traces of sleep now gone from her voice, she actually sounded excited about it.
Holy. Fucking. Shit
No way. She wouldn’t, would she? Was this seriously about to happen? Was I already asleep and dreaming this up or something, or was my girlfriend seriously considering having phone sex with me? I flopped back on the bed, closing my eyes as a thousand images of her bombarded my brain at once.
“Sure, if you want to that is,” I mumbled, actually crossing my fingers that she would agree to it.
“Well, it was actually pretty hot tonight, so I went to sleep in a tiny pair of pink lace panties and a skin-tight, pink tank top. What about you, Nate? What are you wearing?” she purred, sounding so seductive that I could barely stand it.
Of all the girls I could have chosen, I chose a hot little kinky girl, could my luck get any better than this? I looked at the ceiling, silently mouthing a thank you up there, because someone was certainly watching over me.
Okay, turn your game on, Nate! Don’t drop the ball. Concentrate!
“If you think you’re feeling hot right now then just wait a few minutes until we get going, I’ll soon have you out of those panties,” I murmured lustfully. I could actually picture it; I’d always had a good imagination, so this was the perfect thing for someone like me.
She giggled. “Oh really? Actually, now that you’ve mentioned it, it is getting warmer in here. Maybe I’ll just slip-”
I waited for her to continue, but she didn’t. I frowned. “Slip…” I prompted.
Silence.
“Rose, you okay?”
More silence.
Confused, I looked at my phone, only to see that the screen was black. I tapped my screen a couple of times, but nothing happened. My eyes widened in horror.
My battery. My battery had died at the worst time possible.
“Nooooooo! No, no, no, no, no!” I shouted, sitting up and holding down the power button, trying to turn it back on again. This cannot be happening to me! Right now? It has to be right at that very moment? Damn it, can’t a guy catch a break? I hate karma!
I threw my phone on the side and jumped out of the bed, streaking across my room and yanking the door open.
“Mom, Dad, I need to borrow a cell phone! It’s an emergency!” I shouted, not caring if I woke the whole house.
Chapter Seventeen
Unfortunately for me, I had forgotten about the secret smiles my parents were shooting each other before bed, so I had no idea I would burst into their room screaming about a cell phone emergency, while they were in the middle of, what can only be described as, ‘the worst sight I have ever seen in my life’. No child should ever have to see parent sex. Ever. The image of it seemed to be burned on the inside of my eyelids, and I couldn’t shake it off. Even now, two hours later, it still just kept popping back in there, making me shudder and wince.
It was all incredibly embarrassing. I’d stood there practically screaming “Sorry,” over and over again, with my hands pressed over my eyes, while they both tried to cover themselves up with the sheets. It was, hands down, the most awkward moment of my life. If a bolt of lightning had come down and struck me at that exact moment, I would have been grateful.
My dad had just thrown my mom’s cell phone at me, ordering me to leave, while I just stood trying not to picture what I had just seen so I wouldn’t heave. Then, to top it all off, by the time I had called Rosie back and explained what had happened, we just spent the next half an hour laughing about it, so I hadn’t had my phone sex after all. I had, however, arranged to cut my trip short and go home tomorrow afternoon so that I could get a little physical attention from my girl instead. That would cheer me up no end.
For the hundredth time since it happened, I glared at my phone that was sitting on the side. “Worthless piece of crap!” I muttered. What was the point in paying all that money if you couldn’t use the damn thing in a life or death situation? I’d missed out on probably the best phone call of my life, all because of a stupid piece of plastic and glass, and instead I was scarred for life and will probably never be able to look my mother in the eye again.
I glanced at the clock. It was now after two in the morning; the last of the girls had only gone to bed about half an hour ago, so I needed to be sure that they were all asleep before I exacted my revenge. Smiling, I pushed myself out of the bed and crept downstairs into the kitchen. Rifling through the drawers, I found what I was looking for; Dad’s digital watch. When I was back in the safety of my room, I lay back on my bed with a smile on my face. I was tired, of course, but this was going to be worth it.