“No,” I confessed and for the first time in a long time I felt the truth resonate in my ears, a soul-lifting word that freed me from self-imposed, invisible bondage. “No, it was safe, and honest, but not like Kiran…. nothing like Kiran…. I mean I trusted, I still trust Jericho, with every piece of me, but our love was…. comfortable. And Kiran is…. dangerous. In more ways than one, but it’s like when I loved Kiran I was risking something, and not just my life, but my soul. I took Jericho’s love and made it my own, but I offered Kiran my heart and then fell into the tornado of his love. Everything about being in love with Kiran was exciting and thrilling. His love was an adventure. I mean, not just our lives, but the feelings I had for him were…. all-consuming.”
“But you don’t feel that way now?” Lilly had never been more careful with me in her life and I felt her reserve, her fear in hurting me.
“How could I? Look at what he’s done to my life? How could I love him?” I questioned her, demanding the answers that I wanted to know so desperately.
“I don’t know, Eden…. You’re the only one that can decide that,” she said sadly, “But I do know that when Talbott apologized to me, there was nothing in our past that could have kept me from him. Like you said, he offered me his heart and I knew without a doubt that a future with Talbott was worth whatever heartache we went through in the past. I love him despite all odds, but in a confident way that won’t let me question his motives or waver in my trust for him. He hurt me, yes, but I don’t think any kind of love is without some kind of hurt along the way. It’s how we get to know each other better, how we decide what’s for real…. what’s the eternal stuff, what is going to push us closer together and seal the bond between us. My past doesn’t matter anymore, because Talbott is my future.”
She was glowing by the time she finished. The confidence she proclaimed she had in Talbott sparkled in her expression and pulsed through her magic. I fell silent, taking her words to heart and genuinely wondering if I would ever believe they could be true for me.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Over his tiramisu, he looked at me again with his turquoise, piercing eyes. I averted my gaze up, then over, then to Bianca who looked radiant in a long-sleeved gold cocktail dress that matched the color of her long hair. She smiled across the table, so my eyes kept moving.
Everyone seemed to be watching us, watching me. The dining room table, full of talkative guests of the king, stretched across the formal dining room in decadent elegance. I sighed, realizing what this was.
A trophy case.
Lucan knew what would happen at the hunting lodge. He knew his son. The funny thing was that Kiran never planned to take me there; Fate had intervened and given Lucan the advantage. And now he stocked his dinner table with friends and enemies in order to show me off. He ruled the kingdom, had taken Amory’s magic, and now possessed me.
Thoughts of Lucan’s arrogance and vile existence sent shivers throughout my body, turning my electrified blood cold. I found his eyes, the one pair I didn’t shy away from, the one pair I could swallow my social-awkwardness and meet with purpose. He wasn’t looking at me, he was deep in conversation with some mystery dignitary, but victory spread across his face in a confident smile and twinkling eyes. His magic, which usually suffocated rooms and weighed heavily on us all, seemed to float lightly through the air and swirl in happy gusts of strong energy.
I set my dessert down, suddenly sickened. Soon, Lucan. Soon, I would wipe the arrogance from your face and save these people that pretend out of fear to be devoted to you. Kiran’s fingers tracing over my collarbone abruptly pulled me from my musing. When I glanced up, I saw the watchful eyes of the rest of the guests and realized the hatred narrowing my eyes and paling my face might confuse them when they followed my gaze.
“Sorry,” I sighed, leaning into Kiran familiarly, hoping to reassure the guests. I wouldn’t be responsible for Lucan’s punishment if he caught on.
“For what?” He whispered, his lips touching the top of my ear. Maybe I wasn’t as transparent as I felt.
“Uh, for canceling your dinner plans last night,” I recovered and then wanted to smack myself in the forehead. Meanwhile, his magic pulled mine into intimate connection, and his closeness sent my stomach fluttering with butterflies.
I felt him laugh gently next to me. He didn’t believe me. When did he get to know me so well? I still felt like he was one giant mystery….
I smoothed out my black cocktail dress on my lap. I dressed simply tonight, tired of the gowns and galas. The dress clung to me in ways that revealed curves no seventeen year old should rightfully have. I didn’t realize how sexy it could be until after I put it on. I chose it for its high collar and capped sleeves, feeling like they would be more modest than usual, but the dressed gathered from both sides to a middle seam and created the illusion of curves, I didn’t normally possess. And it was short. So maybe I had been crazy when I thought the dress would be modest.
“I’m glad you did, actually,” Kiran surprised me with his answer. He looked especially gorgeous tonight in a shiny blue suit jacket and matching impeccably tailored pants. I wanted to make fun of him for dressing so overtly trendy at first, but his look was edgy, sexy…. I couldn’t stop looking at him. And underneath the jacket, a crisp white dress shirt opened at the collar, revealing his neck. I had never, not once before tonight, looked at a man’s throat and lusted.
Not once before tonight….