Lucan scrubbed a hand across his face. Closing his eyes only brought the picture of her scars glaring into his head, and he swallowed hard. “He hurt her so badly. I…saw. God, she must have suffered. My tender little Anka wasn’t prepared to deal with such a monster. It’s no wonder her mind is as tortured as her body. And I didn’t do a fucking thing to save her.”
That bitter reality stabbed him over and over.
“We’ve talked about this.” Bram clapped him on the back. “You tried, man.”
“I went into mate mourning, nearly turned feral, and almost killed your sister for helping me. I did nothing useful while my treasured mate endured the unspeakable. And now she’s under Shock’s thumb, carrying some…secret. I can’t be useless this time. Surely you know something helpful. Anything.”
Bram dragged in a deep breath. “Nothing. I’m sorry. She’s told me nothing about her captivity, only that she wants revenge. She didn’t talk to me about Shock at all. I only know what you do, they’ve been…friends forever.” He grimaced. “Maybe she thinks she owes him.”
“For rescuing her from the hell I didn’t do a damn thing to save her from?”
“That guilt isn’t helping you, mate.”
Lucan heaved a deep sigh. “I know. But she’s hurting, and I don’t know a single thing I can do to help her except to love her. And she acts as if my devotion terrifies her. I can only think that she’s worried about Shock’s retaliation. Those bruises on her body…maybe the wanker has done more than act dominant.”
“Did he ever beat Anka before you mated with her, do you know?”
No. He never had. Shock, back in those days, had been a sarcastic, fuck-off sort of prat. Not much had changed there. But he’d always been willing to do anything to coax one of those bright smiles out of shy Anka. So, as much as Lucan hated to admit it, he didn’t have difficulty believing that Shock genuinely played power games in the bedroom with Anka because she wished it. Lucan cursed. Wondering why the hell she hadn’t ever asked him for something she needed was only going to eat him up inside.
He shook his head as he made his way over to the decanters of alcohol and poured himself a straight whiskey. “There’s some reason she’s trapped with Shock.”
“I hate to suggest this, mate, but maybe she loves him.”
Lucan snapped around. “No. If she loved Shock, she never would have opened herself to me today. She never would have kissed me like her very happiness depended on feeling me close to her. There’s something going on with Anka. If she’s never talked to you about Shock or her captivity, can you think of anything else that might be troubling her?”
Bram approached, clapping him on the shoulder. “You know she’s never been one to talk about her problems. She’s never said a word to me about Mathias or her relationship with Shock. I wish I could be more help. But with my own mate abandoning me after a single night and disappearing into thin air, I don’t think I’m the best person to talk to about your romantic troubles.”
Lucan nodded wryly. “You have a good point. But I’m not letting her go again. Today proved that she still cares for me. Somewhere under all that pain and uncertainty, under Shock pressing her beneath his thumb, the feeling is there.”
The smile fell from Bram’s face. “That may be, and as your friend, I want you to be happy, whatever that takes. As the leader of this small army? I need to make certain you’re focused on war and getting another soldier ready. Do whatever you need to win her back, but woo her on your own time.”
Lucan’s anger spiked. “My feelings aren’t interfering with your bloody fucking war.”
Bram raised a superior brow. “Really? So besides making love to Anka today, you two got in a full day’s worth of training by noon?”
With a curse, Lucan looked away, clenching his teeth. Bram knew well that he and Anka hadn’t managed any training. The morning had been eaten up by the impromptu meeting and the unbelievable sex that had shoved every reason he’d ever loved her back into his face. Now, it made him really look at his life and the rift between them.
“You forcing her to meet with Mathias this morning rattled her.”
“She may have to fight beside him someday. If a chat in a crowded room bothers her, then she’s never going to be ready.”
As a protector, Lucan wanted Anka nowhere near the cruel bastard who had torn their lives in two and rended the very fabric of their bond. But as the warrior who’d seen the scarred, determined witch struggling to become a soldier in her own right, he understood that she needed to defend herself and fight. That she needed the opportunity to repay Mathias for what he’d done to her.
“We’ve only just started. Give me more time with her.”
“As long as you understand that sweet nothings and footsie can’t appear on our packed agenda.”
Gnashing his teeth, Lucan bit back the urge to tell his best friend to fuck off. “Understood. I’ve promised you that my first priority is to make her ready for the war. I’ll hold myself to that. I’m asking you as a friend to tell me whatever you know about her relationship with Shock. If I had information about Emma, I’d tell you.”
Bram stared and said nothing for a long moment, then nodded. “I won’t gossip or speculate, but if she comes to me directly to talk, I’ll pass it on.”
It wasn’t what Lucan wanted, and he realized that he’d be better off if he talked to Sabelle. Bram’s younger sister had a gift for mind reading, so she might have picked up on something. But if not, he’d muster on. He hadn’t wrested Anka from Shock, held her as his treasured mate for a century, then had her ripped from him tragically just to lose her to Shock forever simply because she was too afraid to overcome whatever fears and hurts stood between them.
A familiar chime rang through the air, and with a simple lift of his hand, Bram eased the magical security around the manor. Predictably, Duke rushed into Bram’s office in an impeccable charcoal gray designer suit with his hair ruffled, looking impatient and a little afraid.
“We’ve got a massive problem.”
From behind him, Simon’s half brother, Mason, emerged. The human barrister nodded emphatically. “I have friends at Scotland Yard willing to call me when anything…unusual happens, no questions asked. I received a call fifteen minutes ago that a stunning blonde with a terrible laugh is at Hadrian’s Wall holding an entire group of people hostage. She refuses to let them go until she sees you.”
Chapter Nine