It was the first time she’d kissed him in over a month, and sometimes at night, she’d replay it over in her mind. He’d been angry, so his lips had pressed against hers with urgency and passion, but the tenderness hidden beneath had been unmistakable. The very thought of it made her heart ache.
Gemma decided that she wasn’t going to live this way. He was right next door, and if she missed him, then she should go see him. She didn’t want to waste what little time she had left on this earth missing someone who lived right next door.
She dried off her hands, smoothed out her hair, and walked over to Alex’s house. Taking a deep breath, she knocked on his front door. But all of her confidence completely disappeared when he opened the door, and she saw him standing in front of her.
His T-shirt pulled taut against his chest and arms, and Gemma’d almost forgotten how much more muscular he’d gotten since he started working at the docks. He’d gotten his chestnut hair cut since she’d seen him last, but it was still a little longer than he usually wore it, so it landed just above his eyebrows.
Alex looked older, and she hadn’t gotten used to it. There was still some of his innocence, some of the boy next door hidden in his features, but he had a new maturity and strength to his face—a hardness in his jaw and brow that wasn’t there before.
But it was his eyes that struck her momentarily mute. For the first time in a while, she could actually see him in them. Lately, his mahogany eyes had been a mask revealing nothing, but now there he was, the boy she’d fallen desperately in love with, and it was enough to take her breath away.
“Hello?” Alex asked, sounding bemused as she stared dumbly up at him.
“Hey,” Gemma said with a dopey smile. “Hi. I hope you don’t mind that I stopped by.”
“No, of course not.” He grinned, his whole face lighting up, and he stepped aside. “Come on in.”
“Are you sure?” Gemma hesitated before entering, but he gestured widely to his house.
“Yeah. I’ve been meaning to talk to you,” he said.
“You have?” Gemma asked uncertainly as she slid past him.
“Yeah.” Alex walked toward the living room, so she followed him, and he looked back over his shoulder as he talked to her. “I mean, I talked to Harper when she was still in town, and she kinda updated me on everything that’s going on with you.”
“Did she?” Gemma asked. “That’s good. I think.”
Daniel had borrowed Alex’s car last week, then used it in an attempt to rescue Gemma, and he’d gotten it bogged down with mud. Harper and Daniel had returned the car to Alex and helped clean it up.
Gemma had wanted to help, but she was afraid that things would still be weird, so she’d focused on trying to translate the scroll while Harper had filled Alex in on all the goings-on with the sirens.
“So what did you want to talk to me about?” Gemma asked.
Alex motioned for her to sit down, and she sat tentatively on the couch. He remained standing for a few more seconds, then sat down at the other end.
“I didn’t like the way we left things last week,” he said finally. “But I didn’t want to bother you with stupid drama.”
“You’re not bothering me,” Gemma said quickly.
He smiled crookedly and stared off at the brick fireplace in the corner. His mother had decorated the living room in shabby chic, and the couch was covered in a weird, flowery pink fabric. Grade-school pictures of Alex hung in frames made of reclaimed wood.
Gemma let her eyes linger on a picture of him when he was twelve. His cowlick had been atrocious, but even then, there’d been something cute about him. He’d walked her home from school in the rain once, when Harper had been sick.
He’d been in middle school at the time, but he walked over to the grade school to get her because he had an umbrella, and he didn’t think that Gemma would. That might have been the very early beginnings of her crush on him.
“I don’t know exactly what I’m supposed to do, anymore.” Alex ran a hand through his hair and looked over at Gemma.
“What do you mean?”
“With you. I’m not your boyfriend, and I don’t even…” He shook his head. “I just wanted to tell you that I worry about you, and if you need me—for anything—I’ll be there in a second. I want to help you.”
She smiled at him. “Thank you.”
“Sorry, I’ve been talking, and you came over here to say something. Sorry. Go ahead.”
“No, it’s okay,” she said. “I wanted to check up on you.”
“On me?” He was taken aback. “Why?”
“Because of how things went the last time we talked.”
His face paled for a moment. “I’m sorry for yelling at you.”
“No, you had every right to,” Gemma said.
“No, I didn’t.” He shook his head. “I was angry, and I was hurt, but I know that whatever you did, you did it because you cared about me. You were doing what you thought was best to protect me.”
“I really did, Alex.” She met his eyes when she said it, hoping to convey her sincerity. “I really hope you understand that. Everything I did, I did because I—I cared about you.”
“I know that. And even then, I think I knew that. I was just in such a fog of confusion and misery and just … bleakness. But I shouldn’t have lashed out at you like that. It was uncalled for, and I’m sorry.”