“Fuck me,” Tony interrupted. “Nate is f**k-me gorgeous.”
“And straight,” Rae said, causing Tony to stare stonily at her. She turned to me. “Cam married Cole’s sister years ago when Cole was fourteen or fifteen or something. Jo is a female version of Cole—so f**king beautiful you want to hate her. But she practically raised Cole on her own, so she’s kind of awesome. She also gave birth to the most disgustingly cute little wretch ever. Her name is Belle, she’s nearly four, and she could charm your last tenner off you.” Rae pulled out her phone and started flicking through it. “Here.” She put it up to my face, showing me a photograph of Cole laughing as he held a stunning little girl with a mass of strawberry blond curls in his arms. She had her arms wrapped tight around his neck while her head rested in the crook of it. She was facing the camera wearing this wide, delighted grin.
My eyebrows drew together. The image of Cole as an adoring uncle pricked at something inside me. “They look close.”
“Oh, they are.” Rae put her phone away. “I tease the shit out of him about it. Big f**king softie. He’d kill for that wee girl. For all of his family.”
“Aye, they’re close,” Simon agreed.
“Fucking Brady Bunch.” Rae grunted.
“Jealous, darling?” Tony raised an eyebrow at her.
“Abso-fucking-lutely.”
As I listened to my new friends tease one another, I began to feel a little uneasy. The idea of Cole as a family man just didn’t sit right with the person I’d drawn in my head. I began to worry my lip between my teeth.
“What about you, Shannon?” Simon’s voice jerked me out of my grim thoughts. “Will we get to meet any friends and family from Glasgow?”
I tried not to visibly tense. “I’m not really close to my family.”
He nodded as if he understood. “What about friends, then?”
Friends?
No. Unfortunately I’d lost most of those . . .
* * *
I sipped at the glass of wine I’d poured myself. I was almost ready for my first night out with the girls in ages, and I was giddy with excitement. I couldn’t wait to catch up with them in Merchant City, have some good food and a few drinks, and party the night away. It felt like forever since I’d blown off some steam.
I slipped on the black stilettos that would take me from a small five foot three to a less small five foot six. As always I left my hair down in its natural waves, and I was glamming up the tight black miniskirt, black stockings, and black tank top I was wearing with a bunch of red and silver bangles and earrings. I grabbed at my glittery red clutch and turned to face the mirror, only to come out of my skin at the sight of my boyfriend, Ollie, sharing my reflection. He stood in the doorway, his eyes roaming over me. I hadn’t even heard him come in from work.
I tensed.
“You’re not going out wearing that,” he said quietly. “You look like a whore.”
Without another word he walked out of the room.
Hot with embarrassment and hurt, I changed out of the skirt with shaking fingers and pulled on a pair of black skinny jeans.
I didn’t say anything when I walked into our open-plan sitting room and kitchen to put my empty wineglass in the sink. I’d downed the remnants of it only moments ago. Fortification.
Transferring my purse, keys, and phone from my everyday bag to my clutch, I could feel Ollie’s eyes burning into my back.
Seconds later I heard him approach and then his heat hit me as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his chest. He started kissing my shoulder, his lips trailing up to my neck.
Still mad, I stiffened. “Stop it. I need to leave.”
He gave me a squeeze. “Don’t go, babe,” he said, using his soft voice full of apology and placation. “I’ve had such a shit day at work. I could really use a quiet night in with my girl.”
I sighed and turned in his arms. “I’m sorry but I’ve had this night out with the girls planned for ages. I haven’t seen them in so long.”
His hold on me tightened, his eyes pleading. “Please, babe. You have no idea how bad it’s been.”
I chewed my lip. “I’ll leave early. I promise.”
Ollie’s arms instantly dropped, disappointment clear in his face. “It’s cool. Don’t bother. Your friends are important.” But the way he said it might as well have been “Your friends are more important than me.”
Feeling a mixture of guilt and annoyance, and knowing that if I didn’t stay in he’d be pissed off at me for days, I sighed. “I’ll text them to let them know I can’t make it.”
I was rewarded with a long, sweet kiss. “I’ll order in,” he said.
“Chinese,” I muttered as I pulled out my phone.
“Nah, I’m in the mood for Indian.”
Ugh, Indian. I sighed again and texted my friend Jennifer.
A few seconds later I received “You are f**king kidding me, right? Haven’t seen you in ages and then you cancel at the last minute? This friendship is a one-way street right now, and I’m done with it.”
Furious—at myself, at Ollie, and at Jennifer—I stomped back into our bedroom and ripped off my clothes, scrubbed off my makeup, and pulled on my pajamas in a huff.
Ollie had put on Top Gear and had gotten us a beer out of the fridge. I joined him on the couch, where he instantly pulled me into his side, but I couldn’t relax. I sat there worrying for the next few hours, scared I’d really, truly ruined my friendships.
Ollie’s phone rang and he answered it. I wasn’t really paying attention to his conversation, so it was a surprise to me when he got off the phone and turned to me. “Come on, we’re meeting Bill and the lads down the pub.”
Disbelief and anger coursed through me. “Are you kidding?”
Confused, Ollie shook his head.
I stood up, my hands flying to hips. “I just gave up a night out with the girls because you said you needed a quiet night in with me.”
“Oh, don’t start,” Ollie groaned. “I can’t be bothered with your f**king drama tonight. Are you coming or not?”
“No! I’m not!” I yelled. “You selfish arsehole.”
Ollie’s face instantly darkened.
* * *
I pulled myself quickly out of the memory, blinking it away as fast as I could. He’d been a prick for a long time. I couldn’t believe how long it had taken me to see him for what he was, to see the damage he’d done to me and to my life.
“Shannon?”
I threw Simon a quick, tight smile. “We lost touch.”
“I need another drink,” Rae suddenly said, changing the subject, and I suspected (gratefully) that it was deliberate. “Anyone else?”
CHAPTER 6
A lthough the hostilities did not cease between Cole and me, time passed pretty quickly while I grew more accustomed to my job at INKarnate and living with Rae. Sometimes I couldn’t believe it had only been a little over a month since I first came to work at Stu’s studio. Not much had changed: I worked, avoided Cole when I could, snapped back at him in retaliation to his cold impatience, and watched him disappear out to lunch every now and then with Jessica, whom he’d been dating for the last few weeks.
Not that I cared.
I had Simon and Rae to use as buffers in the situation with Cole. They found the tension between Cole and me weirdly hilarious. They just went with it. Honestly it was almost becoming second nature to ignore him, or glare at him when I couldn’t ignore him.
That was exactly what I was doing on Tuesday midafternoon. Rae had a client; it was Simon’s day off; Cole was free but keeping himself busy (i.e., avoiding me) in Stu’s office. I was sort of on my lunch break. I’d been late that morning, so I was making up for it by having my lunch break at my desk. That way I could still deal with customers if they came in or called. I was trying not to think about why I was late getting to work.
My nightmares had returned.
For ages after everything that had happened in Glasgow, I’d had bad dreams. When I moved to Edinburgh they were quickly taken over by stress dreams of the “my teeth falling out” variety. They were better than the nightmares, though, and they didn’t wake me up in a sweaty mess at night, so I dealt with them. Then I got the job and a new roommate and the dreams had disappeared completely.
Now they were back and after waking up early that morning a complete trembling, clammy mess, I’d eventually fallen asleep but then slept right through my alarm.
I frowned and buried my nose deeper into J. B. Carmichael’s latest book as I munched on a homemade sandwich. I was just getting into the story when I heard footsteps approaching from the back hallway. I didn’t even have to look to know it was Cole—I’d grown that aware of him.
Concentrating with all my might, I attempted to ignore him as he walked into the main studio, his footsteps nearing me. I felt him hover around me, but I’d buried my nose so deep in the book that now all I could see was paper and black lines.
I heard an exasperated sigh seconds before I felt hands on my waist and then my whole body was lifted up out of my chair. I gasped and froze in shock as I was gently lowered to my feet near the filing cupboard door. I still held my book and sandwich in the exact same position, my eyes peering over the top of the book, as Cole steadied me and then pulled my chair out of the way of the desk. As he bent down to retrieve an empty folder from the drawer my shins had been pressed against, I finally found my voice.
“Couldn’t you have just said ‘excuse me’?” I was trying not to look at his arms. I knew I was small, but he’d just lifted me like I weighed less than air!
Cole turned his stony stare on me and suddenly started toward me. I refused to back up, but he got so close I had to smoosh my sandwich and book against my chest. I sucked in my breath as the heat radiating from his body hit me along with the tantalizing and mouthwatering smell of his cologne. I now knew that irresistible scent was the sport version of L’eau D’issey by Issey Miyake because I’d found Rae wrapping a gift set of it just the other day only to be told it was for Cole for his upcoming birthday. At the time I resisted the urge to grab the bottle off her, spritz my bedding, and roll around on it na**d like a crazy lady.
Perhaps the tension between Cole and me was getting to me just a little.
Maybe.
Eyes wide, I watched as Cole’s face came closer . . . and then completely bypassed mine as he reached behind me for a pen sitting on the top of the filing cabinet behind me.
Unfortunately my body responded to his proximity in a way I really wished it wouldn’t. It was completely out of sync with my brain. Confused and upset, I held still as Cole pulled back with the pen in his hand. His expression was hard until he caught sight of mine. It made him pause.
Cole’s eyes flickered over me before coming to a halt at the cover of my book.
“J. B. Carmichael fan?” he said.
I swallowed hard, trying to pull myself together. “Yeah.”
He nodded and then lifted his eyes from the book to meet my gaze. “She’s best mates with my sister. She lives in New Town.”
What?
Wh—
My mouth fell open as I visibly fangirled. “Seriously?” I whispered, visions of meeting her and having my books signed dancing in my head. I’d known she was an American living in Scotland. Her series was set in Richmond, Virginia, and Edinburgh also featured, but I had had no idea I’d been this close to her for the last few weeks.
Something wicked glinted in Cole’s eyes, but I was too busy freaking out to really notice what it meant. “Yup.” He made a tsk noise. “Shame, that.”
Viciously I was yanked out of my excitement at the tone. That wicked look registered and I knew exactly what it meant. Any hopes I had of meeting the author had been dashed from the moment I’d started a war with Cole.
He gave me a tight, triumphant smile and walked away.
My anger got the best of me. “You’re an immature idiot!”
“I could give a f**k, Shortcake,” he threw back at me. “And you started it.”
* * *
Usually I enjoyed Rae’s particular brand of conversation, but that night at dinner I wanted her gone already. Mike was taking her to a movie, but he was running late. Rae had decided to have dinner with me before heading out to meet him, thus stopping me from throwing a snack together and hiding out in my bedroom where I was going to pull out my acrylic paints for the first time.
I’d done as I promised myself and bought the paints with my first paycheck, and now I felt like a kid at Christmas, waiting for an empty flat so I could use them without fear of discovery. The first landscape I wanted to work on was the cityscape I’d drawn from the top of the castle.
However, Rae was taking her sweet time with dinner. She was also being strangely quiet.
Since my flatmate didn’t like anyone asking if she was okay (she usually responded with something sarcastic that made me wish I’d never bothered to be concerned in the first place), I ate in silence.
Until Rae had the notion to speak again. “I haven’t said anything, but I’ve got to tell you my curiosity is killing me.” She dropped her fork and leaned across her plate, her eyes trapping mine. “Why the f**k are you and Cole acting like shitheads to each other? It’s like working with psychos. You’re all nicey-nicey to everyone else and then your attitude turns to ice the second he walks in the room and vice versa. Split personalities much?”
Honestly I was impressed that she’d managed to restrain herself for this long. I blew out air between my lips before answering her. “He kept coming on to me, so I put him in his place.”