I was going to freeze to death. I just knew it.
"Jorgensen, who swims so far out at this time of night?" someone shouted from nearby.
"A brave soul!" The dark-haired man named Jorgensen said in approval. "One of our women, no doubt to impress her man."
Whatever. Even if I could respond, I wouldn't. As it was, I was far too cold to attempt to speak through my chattering teeth. I tasted blood and assumed I'd bitten my tongue but couldn't feel it.
The bow of a massive, wooden ship came into sight above my head, and I struggled to sit, taking in the dress of the blond and brown haired men peering over the edges and the size and make of the ship.
Vikings. It was yet another era I knew nothing about, and I stared at it, cursing Carter for not sending me somewhere civilized and warm, like Greece or Rome or something.
"You are a brave girl," Jorgensen said. "But you should not swim so far if you cannot make it back."
"Tell me, woman, who is your man? Where is he this night?" another called from the ship.
They were staring at me, waiting for my response. I huddled into the fur-lined blanket irritated and cold. "I don't need a man," I proclaimed. "I'm perfectly capable of swimming wherever I want and rescuing myself."
And in that moment, I knew I meant it. I was done being reliant upon anyone for survival, and I would never, ever again risk my heart, my sanity or my health for anyone else.
"You have no man," Jorgensen assessed. "But you are old enough you should have been wedded at least once. Are you a widow?"
Ugh. I didn't think it was any of his business, and I didn't like the reminder that yes, I was a widow - twice over.
"Yes," I replied. "I am."
"You seek to impress Odin this night?" someone else joked.
I didn't want to impress anyone. I wanted to be left alone forever so I could wallow in my misery.
But self-pity wasn't in my personality, and I was already looking around out of curiosity at my new surroundings. The rowboat bumped against the warship while Jorgensen and a blond man on the ship spoke. I wiped my face, desperate to get out of the soaking clothing to warm up but not about to strip around a group of strange men who probably didn't have twenty first century morals about naked women in their midst.
I was going into this experience with a completely different mindset, one as cold as the waters of wherever I was. No attachments, no love, no happiness, no hope for a happy ending.