‘No. I lost my new sword. Sergeant got mad and sent me home.’
‘Bad luck, Corabb. No glory for you.’
‘Wasn’t looking for any-wasn’t real fighting, Bottle. I don’t see the point in that. They’d only learn anything if we could use our weapons and kill a few hundred of them.’
‘Right. That makes sense. Bring it up with Fiddler-’
‘I did. Just before he sent me back.’
‘He’s getting more unreasonable by the day.’
‘Funny,’ Corabb said, ‘that’s exactly what I said to him. Anyway, what’re you doing? This isn’t your bunk.’
‘You’re a sharp one all right, Corabb. See, it’s like this. Smiles is trying to murder me.’
‘Is she? Why?’
‘Women like her don’t need reasons, Corabb. She’s set booby traps. Poison, is my guess. Because I was staying behind, you see? She’s set a trap to kill me.’
‘Oh,’ said Corabb. ‘That’s clever.’
‘Not clever enough, friend. Because now you’re here.’
‘I am, yes.’
Bottle edged back from the lockbox. ‘It’s unlocked,’ he said, ‘so I want you to lift the lid.’
Corabb stepped past and flung the lid back.
After he’d recovered from his flinch, Bottle crawled up for a look inside.
‘Now what?’ Corabb asked behind him. ‘Was that practice?’
‘Practice?’
‘Aye.’
‘No, Corabb-gods, this is strange-look at this gear! Those clothes.’
‘Well, what I meant was, do you want me to open Smiles’s box next?’
‘What?’
‘That’s Cuttle’s. You’re at Cuttle’s bunk, Bottle.’ He pointed. ‘Hers is right there.’
‘Well,’ Bottle muttered as he stood up and dropped the lid on the lockbox. ‘That explains the codpiece.’
‘Oh… does it?’
They stared at each other.
‘So, just how many bastards do you think you’ve sired by now?’
‘What?’
‘What?’
‘You just say something, Corabb?’
‘What?’
‘Before that.’
‘Before what?’
‘Something about bastards.’
‘Are you calling me a bastard?’ Corabb demanded, his face darkening.
‘No, of course not. How would I know?’
‘How-’
‘It’s none of my business, right?’ Bottle slapped the man on one solid shoulder and set off to find his boots. ‘I’m going out.’
‘Thought you were sick.’
‘Better now.’
Once he’d made his escape-in all likelihood narrowly avoiding being beaten to death by the squad’s biggest fist over some pathetic misunderstanding-Bottle glared up at the mid-afternoon sun for a moment, and then set off. All right, you parasite, I’m paying attention now. Where to?
‘It’s about time. I was having doubts-’
Quick Ben! Since when were you playing around with Mockra? And do you have any idea how our skulls will ache by this evening?
‘Relax, I got something for that. Bottle, I need you to go to the Old Palace. I’m down in the crypts.’
Where you belong.
‘First time anybody’s expressed that particular sentiment, Bottle. Tell me when you get to the grounds.’
What are you doing in the crypts, Quick Ben?
‘I’m at the Cedance. You need to see this, Bottle.’
Did you find them, then?
‘Who?’
Sinn and Grub. Heard they went missing.
‘No, they’re not here, and no sign that anyone’s been down here in some time. As I’ve already told the Adjunct, the two imps are gone.’
Gone? Gone where?
‘No idea. But they’re gone.’
Bad news for the Adjunct-she’s losing her mages-
‘She’s got me. She doesn’t need anyone else.’
And all my fears are laid to rest.
‘You may not have realized, Bottle, but I was asking you about your furry lover for a reason.’
Jealousy?
‘Hurry up and get here so I can throttle you. No, not jealousy. Although, come to think on it, I can’t even recall the last time-’
You said you had a reason, Quick Ben. Let’s hear it.
‘What’s Deadsmell been telling you?’
What? Nothing. Well.