They emerged into the parade square and halted before a ragged row of what looked like civilians with nowhere to go but up, an even dozen in all. Seeing the two at the far end, Pores’s spirits sank.
‘I am promoting you sideways,’ Kindly said to him. ‘Master Sergeant.’
‘Thank you, sir.’
‘I do this out of recognition of your true talents, Master Sergeant Pores, in the area of recruiting from the local population.’
‘Ah, sir, I assure you again that I had nothing to do with those two whores’-and he gestured at the pair of immensely obese women at the end of the row- ‘showing up unannounced in your office.’
‘Your modesty impresses me, Master Sergeant. As you can see now, however, what we have before us here are Letherii recruits. Indebted, mostly, and, as you observed, two now retired from a most noble and altruistic profession.’ His tone hardened. ‘And as every Malazan soldier knows, a life before joining the ranks has no bearing once the vows are sworn and the kit is issued. There exist no barriers to advancement beyond competence-’
‘And sometimes not even that, sir.’
‘Even confessions are insufficient cause to interrupt me, Master Sergeant. Now, these venerable recruits belong to you. Kit them out and then take them for a long hike-they clearly need to be worked into fighting trim. We march in two days, Master Sergeant.’
‘Fighting trim in just two days, sir?’
‘Your recruits rely upon your competence, as do I,’ said Kindly, looking nauseatingly satisfied. ‘Might I suggest that your first task lies in sobering them up. Now, I leave you to it, Master Sergeant.’
‘Thank you, sir.’ And he saluted.
Captain Kindly marched back into the headquarters.
Pores stared after him. ‘This,’ he whispered, ‘is war.’
The nearest recruit, a scrawny man of forty or so with a huge stained moustache, suddenly brightened. ‘Can’t wait, sir!’
Pores wheeled on him. ‘I’m no “sir”, dung beetle! I am Master Sergeant!’
‘Sorry, Master Sergeant!’
‘You don’t think, I trust, that my sideways promotion is not a bold announcement of Captain Kindly’s confidence in me?’
‘Absolutely not, Master Sergeant!’
Pores strode down to the far end of the row and glared at the two whores. ‘Gods below, what are you two doing here?’
The blonde one, her face glowing in the manner of overweight people the world over, when made to stand for any length of time, belched and said, ‘Master Sergeant, look at us!’