But doubt as vast as the thing’s watery habitat immobilized me.
What if whatever I summoned from those ancient depths wasn’t a part of me at all but something else entirely?
If it was me, I could use it.
But if by some bizarre twist of events—and no events were too bizarre to consider in my day-to-day existence—there was something down there that wasn’t me, it could use me.
I didn’t trust myself. No, I didn’t trust that sidhe-seer place.
Why would I? I hadn’t even known it existed until a few months ago. Until I knew more about what it was and wasn’t, I wasn’t calling forth any unknowns. My current skills would have to suffice.
I shook my head sharply and I was in the street again, with a raptor thing about to take a bite out of me.
I ducked.
Its head flew to the side and its body slid to the cobbled stone, leaving Dani standing where it had been, grinning at me. “Pull your head outta your arse, Mac.”
We moved into pattern: I Nulled, she killed.
I don’t know how long I fought without my spear. But it was long enough to give me a taste of what I was asking of my sisters-in-arms. I cursed Rowena for sending them into Dublin without guns, without iron bullets. I would never let them be such walking targets.
I kept looking for Kat but couldn’t find her in the mess. Without my spear, I felt naked, exposed. I felt wrong.
I slammed my palms into a tall, beetle-bodied Unseelie with a thick, many-plated carapace. It didn’t freeze. I drew back my fist, and suddenly there was another hand around mine, and when I drove it forward, Kat and I sunk the spear in its armorlike hide together.
As it crashed to the pavement, I glanced over my shoulder.
Kat smiled, nodded, and let go of the spear, leaving it in my hand. Then she turned her back to mine and moved into pattern with me, as I had with Dani.
Although she wasn’t a Null, she had a wicked uppercut, and we made a great team. Dani paired off with another sidhe-seer, and the battle raged on.
Later, we sat on curbs, leaned against buildings, and sprawled on the sidewalks, dirty, splattered with disgusting variations of Unseelie blood, exhilarated, and exhausted.
“What happened?” I asked Kat. “How did you get stuck in the middle of so many of them?”
She flushed. “We’ve grown accustomed to having Dani with us, we have. She hears what we can’t. I think they must have begun following us the moment we entered the city, drawn by our hats”—she tapped her MacHalo—“or perhaps the noise of the bus. They gathered more as we went, biding time, looking for a tight spot to close in. If you hadn’t happened along … well. It’s glad we are that you did.”
I assessed the carnage. There were several hundred Unseelie dead in the street. “We did good. With guns and a plan, we could do better.”
Kat nodded. “May we speak plainly?”
I inclined my head.
“Your differences with the Grand Mistress hurt us all.”
“Then she should wise up and see reason.”
“Her differences with you hurt us, too,” Kat said pointedly. “War is no time for a coup. Continue fighting each other and you’ll end up destroying the kingdom you’re after ruling.”
There was a chorus of murmured assents in the street.
“I’m not trying to rule. I’m just trying to help.”
“You’re both trying to rule. And we’re telling you both to stop. We’ve been talking since you and Dani left. We want you back. We don’t care if you keep the weapons. But we’re not willing to trade Rowena’s guidance for yours. We want you both. If you agree to team up, we’ll help you in whatever way we can and make Rowena accept it, too. The way we see it, neither you nor Rowena can force us to accept either one of you. But we’re willing to bet we can force you two to work together for the greater good. That is what you both say you’re after, isn’t it?”
“I’m not living at the abbey, Mac!” Dani bounded to her feet. “You said I could live with Barrons.”
I looked from Dani to Kat, considering her words. She’d made a point, and I was feeling a little ashamed of myself. I had made it personal with Rowena. I’d tried to divide and conquer, and now was not the time to be dividing loyalties over anything. We had enough problems as it was.
My whole goal in sending Dani to the abbey today was to find out when the sidhe-seers were coming in, so I could take them into battle, pump them up on victory, and regain a foothold in the abbey. Kat was offering it to me, hand outstretched. Five hundred sidhe-seers could force Rowena to cooperate with me, and all I’d have to do was bite my tongue a lot.