“And how am I supposed to do that? I’m pretty sure most of it’s one-sided, and the parts that aren’t are probably in my head. So what do I say? ‘Hey Shane, let’s talk about that time we almost banged a billion years ago, and why I remember it like it was yesterday in spite of the fact that I can barely stand you.’”
Lacey drew back and gasped. “I knew that was it! That’s what makes you so uncomfortable around him. Not that it happened, but that you want a repeat performance.”
“First of all, it was certainly not a ‘performance.’ It was a prelude at best. And second, no I don’t.” At Lacey’s dubious stare, she amended, “Or if I do, it’s only because of the curiosity. You know how when someone takes a bite of something and says ‘Ew, this is gross! Take a bite,’ and you know it’s going to be bad, but you have to try it anyway? Like that.”
“You didn’t seem to think it was gross that night. In fact, I recall you saying that his hands were like magic and—”
Cat cupped her palms over her ears and groaned. “Ugh, I know what I said. I was a melodramatic teenage girl. I also thought From Justin to Kelly should have won an Oscar. What did I know? Anyways, you’re missing the point of my analogy.”
“That’s because it was a stupid analogy. I think you owe it to yourself to figure out what all the fuss in your head has been about.”
She pulled her hands away and laid them on the table faceup. “Look, I know it’s your fondest wish that Shane and I get married and have a pile of kids and get a minivan so we can be besties married to besties, but that’s not going to happen. You know that, right, Lace?”
Her friend nodded, but not convincingly. “Yeah. I’m just wondering if maybe this has been the holdup with you and other guys. You had this amazing night with Shane that never resolved itself and since then, no one has measured up. Every guy you date, you dump after discovering some silly, made-up flaws.”
“They’re not made up,” Cat protested. “Some of them are—”
Lacey shut her down with a talk-to-the-hand. “What about Steve? Pushing someone away because they don’t get your Monty Python references isn’t normal.”
“Bring out yer dead!” Cat quipped with a weak smile, and slumped in her seat, trying not to get too defensive.
Lacey shook her head, exasperation plain on her face. “What about Ty? Or Griff? He was so nice.”
She bolted upright, nearly knocking over her beer. “Whoa, wait a second. Who could date Griff long-term? He used the phrase ‘That’s my motto’ like five times a day. ‘Go hard or go home, that’s my motto.’ ‘You only live once, that’s my motto.’ ‘Shoot for the stars and you’re bound to hit one, that’s my motto.’ Jesus, Griff, pick a fucking motto, am I right? It was ridiculous.” Even as she said it, she could feel her cheeks getting warm. Maybe Griff wasn’t the only one who was ridiculous.
Lacey’s lips twitched, but she held strong. “I’m serious here. I’m not saying any of these guys have been your soul mate, but I am saying that you’ll never know if you don’t let them in a little.”
“If they had their way, I’d be letting him in a lot, if you catch my drift.” Her friend’s cheeks went pink and Cat chuckled. “For all the changes in you, it makes me proud that I can still get you to blush.”
Lacey sniffed and folded the bar napkin into a neat rectangle and set it next to her beer glass. “Stop trying to derail the conversation.” The waitress passed by and Lacey held up two fingers, gesturing at their empty glasses before turning her focus back on Cat.
“So what do you suggest, Lace? I should just ignore my instincts and stick around when someone is rubbing me the wrong way? Because that’s what it sounds like.” She tried to keep the edge out of her tone, but judging by her friend’s wounded expression, she’d missed the mark a little.
Lacey lifted her chin. “Nope. What you should do is make sure you’re not throwing the baby out with the bathwater.”
“That’s the stupidest expression ever. Who throws out a baby? Like, ‘Oh, oops. Didn’t see you there, li’l fella.’ Not to mention, you’d think they’d cry when they landed and you’d catch your mistake in time to scoop it back into the bath.”
Lacey’s eyes went kind of evil and she poked Cat’s arm, hard.
Damn, Galen really had toughened her up.
“Stop. Deflecting. It’s fine to be like Shane said. Selective. It’s not fine for you to run every guy off within two months over some perceived flaw.”
“I’m not taking dating advice from Old Killjoy Decker. Even in high school, when everyone was being irresponsible and having fun, he was busy looking for parades to crap on. I’m sure that hasn’t changed and he’s still about as exciting as a kiddie roller coaster.” And seeing as how Cat typically selected vacation destinations based on the proximity of the best amusement park, this was the highest of insults.
A crease marred Lacey’s brow and she gave her golden head a shake. “I never understood that. He’s the most fun, interesting guy I know—besides your brother, of course. And gorgeous to boot. How could you possibly think he’s boring?”
“Maybe the way he tried to corral me my entire junior year of high school like I was some wayward cow and he was the ranch’s most enthusiastic farmhand?”
The waitress came by with their beers, and Cat leaned aside to make room. It gave her a moment to think, and she decided grudgingly that maybe boring wasn’t the right word for Shane. An image of that sexy, soul-searching stare sent a bolt of heat through her. Sexy? It wasn’t sexy. It was…invasive. And annoying.
And sexy.
When the waitress strolled away, Lacey held up a hand. “The super-hot professional hero with an amazing work ethic and one of the best men I’ve ever known is boring. Fine. You are officially hopeless. Nobody is good enough for you. So, great, you’ll get exactly what you’ve been working toward your whole life.”
Cat knew for sure she didn’t want to hear the rest of this. In fact, maybe it was time to hit the slots—
“A life alone.”
Cat winced.
“Hah! You flinched!” Lacey shouted, stabbing a triumphant finger in Cat’s direction. “You try to act so tough, but you don’t want to be alone forever, do you?”
“You didn’t just discover plutonium, genius, so calm down. It’s not that shocking. Who wants to be alone forever? I just haven’t found the ri—”
“You haven’t even tried. Twenty-five’s in the rearview mirror, and you’ve never had a relationship last longer than ninety days. That’s sad.”
Maybe it was. But it seemed to her that relationships were a constant drain. Even when the getting was good, one person always ended up compromising. Most of the time, they gave up so much of themselves they became someone else entirely. That’s why she mainly hung out with guys who were willing to give a little, get a little, and let her live the rest of her life on her terms. When things got too serious, she walked away. Maybe it was time to take a harder look at the cycle. Not to give herself over completely, but to find a guy who wanted the same things she did.
Cat plucked a bar napkin off the table and began absently rolling the edges. “Okay, so what then? I should propose to Shane so I don’t die alone?”
Lacey’s soft features went tight. “Don’t be a smart-ass. Of course not, I’m just saying that you shouldn’t be so damned hasty.”
Cat took a sip of her beer and mulled it over.
“In fact,” Lacey said, her tone eulogy-serious, “I dare you.”
Cat gaped at her friend, noting the challenge in her eyes that looked so out of place. “Dare me to what?”
“I triple-dog dare you to explore this Shane thing and see if it’s just a case of nostalgia. If it is, no harm, no foul. You can get some closure and move on. And if it’s not? Maybe you can actually admit to yourself that you have some feelings for him that need to be dealt with.”
Lacey looked pleased as punch, so sure that Cat would take the bait. What did she think, Cat was an idiot? So easily led that she would just cave and—
Shane’s mocking half-grin flashed in front of her eyes. Still sewing clothes and breaking hearts?
Maybe she was, but who was he to judge? Lacey was right. The deed couldn’t possibly live up to the hype she’d built up in her head. Maybe if she got him out of her system, she could focus on finding a guy more suited to her lifestyle long-term. Someone fun and easy.
Someone exactly not like Shane.
A vision of his face, those cutting blue eyes drilling into her, ran through her mind, and common sense flooded back in. “Nope. This is one dare I’m going to have to pass on.”
Lacey’s face fell a little, but she nodded. “Okay, well, you have the month to think about it. And if not Shane, at least consider opening up to someone and allowing yourself to connect before you dump the guy. I only want you to be happy, Cat.”
Despite the seriousness in Lacey’s big brown eyes, Cat couldn’t contain the laughter bubbling up. “We must be in Crazy Town right now. What are the odds that you would end up being the one to dare me to do something this trip?”
Since grade school, she’d coerced Lacey to go along with her, daring her to do all sorts of nutty stuff, from dyeing her hair green to jumping out of a plane, but this was the first time the shoe had been on the other foot.
Lacey’s lips twitched into a grudging smile. “Pretty low, I guess. In fact, we probably have a better chance of winning at the slots.”
“Amen to that.” She clinked her glass to Lacey’s and took a swig of beer. As the icy liquid poured down her throat, Lacey tugged her cell phone from her pants pocket and peered down at the screen.
“A text from Galen. No rooms, so Shane will be staying with you.”
As Cat digested that news, she half-expected a bell to toll. Was that a sign of some sort? Of course not. It stood to reason that the hotel was booked to capacity due to the big fight. It had no bearing on her and Shane at all, except that they’d be in the same room. She’d stayed in the same room with him dozens of times on trips to the Thomas family cottage, so this was no biggie.
So why couldn’t she shake the sense of foreboding pressing on her like an anvil?
Chapter Two
Cat Thomas.
Shane waited for Galen to finish signing an autograph and tossed some bills onto the Formica table, wondering once again if he’d made a mistake by coming back east. When Galen had invited him, it had been a no-brainer. He’d intended for it to be a short trip, a day or two in Atlantic City, a day or two to visit the family up north, and then back to California. But the past few months had been a wake-up call for him, and he was starting to think that maybe life was too short and fragile to be this far from the people he loved. It was time to go home for a good long while. Maybe even for good, if his transfer went through.
“Ready to rock-and-roll?” Galen asked, elbowing him in the ribs as he passed.
“Yeah, man, I’m shot from that red-eye flight.”
“You?” Galen asked, his eyes popping comically wide. “I spent half my night getting punched in the face.”
“Don’t bullshit me. I was there, and if you got hit more than ten times, you can punch me in the face.”
Galen shrugged, waving to their waitress as they exited the little fifties-style diner. “Maybe so, but that guy’s fists are like two Buicks wrapped in bacon. That shit hurts.”
“Remind me to feel sorry for you later when you’re lying on your piles of money and your gorgeous fiancée is rubbing all your aches away.”