“Why are we naked in bed together?” I ask, already knowing the answer.
“That’s not funny, Mags,” he says as his eyes slide over my face again.
“Sven,” I whisper, clutching the sheet tighter against my chest.
“Jesus, you have to be shitting me right now, Mags.” He jumps from the bed and begins pacing along the side of it. Sitting up, I watch as his naked form moves back and forth in front of me. “I made love to you.” His voice is anguished as he runs his hands over his head then down over his face.
“I…”
“You told me you love me,” he groans, holding his hand to his chest like the words cause him pain.
“Oh, God,” I whimper. I’m in love with Sven, but I would never tell him that. I would never trust him with that information. I also would never risk what I have with him.
“I fucking knew it,” he stops next to the bed to look down at me. “I fucking knew I should have followed my gut.”
Okay, that didn’t feel good. In fact, those words cut something deep inside me—something I didn’t even realize was vulnerable when it came to him.
“Goddammit,” he roars then storms to the bathroom, slamming the door, leaving me sitting cross-legged in the middle of his bed, naked, confused, and hurt.
Getting up quickly, I look around for my clothes that are nowhere to be found then wrap the sheet around myself, leaving the room to go to mine, which is right next to his. I pull on a pair of panties and a bra then find a pair of shorts and a tank top, slipping on my flip-flops, then rush to the stairs and stop dead. From the bottom landing to the top stair, our clothes are scattered. Whimpering, I stumble down the steps, picking up the pieces of my discarded clothes along the way until my hands are full. I grab my bag and keys from the table near the door, rush out of the house, throw the clothes into my back seat, and then back out of the driveway.
Biting my lip to keep from crying, I drive faster.
“What have I done?” I whisper to my windshield as I pull up in front of my apartment. Sven didn’t want me to keep it, but when I was moving in with him, I left my sister a note on the kitchen counter, explaining what happened with the guys that came and how she could get ahold of me. I honestly didn’t think she would ever come back, at least not alive. The next time I stopped by to check the mail, I found a note from her telling me that she was okay, but she was trying to find a way to fix her mess. After that, I decided to keep the apartment; that way, she would have a place to crash if she needed it.
Getting into the apartment, I shut and lock the door with the three extra locks I purchased after the break-in and head directly to my old room, stripping off my clothes. Catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I inhale sharply. My nipples are darker than I have ever seen them and are surrounded by tiny hickeys.
“Stop marking me.” I laugh as his head lowers, pulling my nipple into his mouth, making my back arch. Lifting his head above mine, he smiles softly and I run my fingers through his hair.
“I like knowing you’re carrying my mark around under your clothes,” he whispers before stealing my breath with a kiss.
Stumbling back, I sit on the edge of the tub and lower my face into my hands. I have no idea if that’s a real memory or just something my subconscious made up.
Reaching over, I start up the shower and get in to stand under the running water. Making quick work I wash my hair and body then get out and wrap my hair in a towel. Going into my room, I put back on the clothes I arrived in, since everything else is at Sven’s house, and head for the living room, thankful that I left the couch.
Grabbing a Diet Coke, one of the only things in the fridge, I wander into the living room and take a seat on my couch, setting my Coke on the floor. Holding my phone in my hand, I try to decide what to do. I press my hand to my forehead and replay the events from last night in my head. After I got to the club, Teo escorted me straight to the office, where I stayed until around one. Instead of leaving and going home, I decided to sit at the bar and talk to Eva, since we didn’t have a chance to chat earlier. I remember she asked me if I wanted a drink, but like always, I chose cranberry juice, since I knew I had to drive. After she poured me a glass, we chatted between customers. After that,
Nothing
My mind is blank.
Pressing the button on my cell phone, the screen lights up and I see there are twenty-seven phone calls and ten text messages from Sven. I don’t read any of the messages as I type quickly.
SVEN: I’m okay. I just need the night to think.
I press send then sit back on the couch, close my eyes, and before I know it, I’m asleep.
“I’m never letting you go.”
Waking suddenly, I pant looking around in the darkness then squeeze my eyes closed, trying to calm my breathing and rid my mind of the image of Sven above me, his muscles tight as he fills me. Opening my eyes again, it’s pitch black, and my neck hurts from the awkward angle it’s bent at. I hold my phone away from my face and press the button, seeing it’s after midnight.
Groaning, I sit up and rest my head in my hands for a moment while I go over all the variables for the conversation that will happen between Sven and I. Worst-case scenario, I lose Sven forever. Best-case, we pretend like nothing ever happened. Neither of those scenarios makes me feel good, but I need to understand what happened last night, and judging by Sven’s reaction to me not remembering, he needs to know too.
Knowing Sven is probably at the club and I have a couple hours to figure out what to say to him when I see him, I pull the pepper spray out of my bag and make my way to my car. Taking the long way home I pull into the driveway at a little after one. Not recognizing the car parked in the driveway it takes me a second to remember Sven has friends in town. Feeling embarrassment hit me, I shut off my engine, and stare at the house until I finally build up the courage to get out and head inside. I don’t even register the sound of the car door slamming behind me. The only thing I’m thinking about when I open the front door is the smell of a woman’s perfume as I step into the house.
“It took you long enough.”
Turning on the foyer light, my heart falls into my stomach as a woman wearing nothing but a pair of shear panties and heels walks around the corner out of the living room. My blood starts to pump so fast and so loud that I can’t even hear what she’s saying as she gets closer. But I know she’s speaking to me as I watch her lips move and a snarl form on her pouty mouth.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Sven roars from behind me, and I swing my head around to look at him and stumble back, caught off-guard by the anger in his voice and the look in his eyes.
“I—”
“Get out now,” he thunders, and I follow his eyes to the woman standing naked in the entryway of the house. Her arms cross over her chest and she looks at Sven then me and back again.
“Whatever.” She turns on her heels and heads back into the living room, grabbing a coat off the couch and putting it on, tying the waist. “Your friend still owes me,” she says as she passes by Sven, who is holding open the front door. As soon as she clears the door, Sven slams it closed and presses his hand to the wood, dropping his head forward to hang between his shoulders.
“I was waiting outside of your apartment. I must have fallen asleep, ‘cause when I woke up, your car was gone. Do you know how fucking scared I was?” He turns to face me and pins me in place with the look in his eyes. “First, you run out on me, and then you send me a message saying that you need time to think.” He shakes his head, running his hand over his stubble-covered jaw. “What you need to think about, I have no fucking clue, because you have no idea what I’m feeling.”