She sat down on the log beside me and cleared her throat. She slowly slid towards me and I tensed immediately; just the smell of her set my senses alive. Fuck, she had control of me and I hated that.
"Please give me a chance to explain. I need you to hear me out.” The warm summer breeze blew against us, doing nothing to ease the chill in my body that was all about our situation and nothing to do with the temperature. “Destry, you changed my life the moment you stopped for me on that road.” I stopped and took a deep, shuddering breath before continuing, “You changed who I thought I was when you opened your home to me. You made me the person I had always dreamed of being the moment you opened your heart to me. I want to explain.” Seconds passed and I received no sign he was going to say a word. “You can’t just ignore me, Destry.” I just wanted him to say something, anything. The waiting was agonizingly painful.
"What do you want me to say, Amelia? How do you think it felt to be told that the woman I had been sleeping with, who I opened my home and family to, who I finally let into my heart, had a fiancé? Honestly, how do you think that felt?” he asked roughly. He didn’t want to talk.
"Tell me what to do, Destry. Tell me what I can say to make this okay. I am so sorry. I should have told you everything. I can’t lose this; I can’t lose us." I placed my hand on his arm and he froze at my touch. Finally, he looked at me.
"Amelia, I can’t do this. I don't know what the hell this is? You have a fiancé and I am definitely not the type of guy that fucks around with another guy’s girl. I just, I can’t be that person.. Nobody else has hurt me like you have, Amelia.” A tear trickled down his face. “I want to trust you, but you lied to me. You kept secrets, secrets that shouldn’t ever have been kept. You should have been honest and upfront. I shouldn’t have started this. I should have known better than to think a city girl and a country boy could have had a future together.” He cleared his throat and stared out somberly at the moon reflecting on the lake. “I did know better.”
“Destry, don’t,” I croaked out through the tears streaming down my face, my heart shattering into pieces. I knew where this was headed, and it was breaking me apart. I’d never wanted to hurt him. I’d ruined us and there was nothing I could say to make it right. My heart hurt. I had a feeling of utter dread and helplessness.
“I wanted you. That’s all I ever wanted, was you. Past and all, ‘Melia.” He reached out and wiped gently under my eye with his thumb as my breath hitched on a sob. He leaned forward and laid his warm lips on my forehead, took a deep breath and let me go. A step back and he turned and walked away. His head hung low, he walked past his truck and into the darkness, taking with him a piece of my soul. I crumpled to the ground and let the tears flow freely. All the hurt I’d felt in the world didn’t equate to the pain pouring from my broken heart.
X X X
Days had turned to weeks and those weeks had slowly trickled by since that night at the lake where I had realized I’d lost the true love I’d accidentally run into. I had found a small run down place on the outskirts of town. It wasn’t much, but it was mine. I’d spent hours slaving over broken windows and overgrown hedges but I’d made it livable.
Daddy and Mother had put up a good fight at first, but I finally found out I was already entitled to my inheritance, and it’d been transferred to my new bank account, the one I set up the moment I found my job. I was now the newest waitress at Rach’s Bar.
I was, for the first time in my life, completely independent and I was taking my independence by the balls. Destry hadn’t let me explain anything; he’d flat out ignored me every time I’d tried to speak a word to him, and the last time was my breaking point. I promised myself I would no longer cry myself to sleep over him or any man ever again. I would be the strong woman I’d always wanted to be. Self-assured and full of confidence. There were only so many times you could try and right a wrong, before you were beating a dead horse… or rather a drunk cowboy.
That was exactly what Destry had morphed into, a drunken cowboy. He was at the bar every night I worked, drinking beer after beer. He hadn’t shaved in what appeared to be weeks and he sure as hell looked like he hadn’t bathed in twice as long.
While I hadn’t been free of blame, I wasn’t allowing myself to pine after something that wasn’t mine to have. Destry and I were doomed from the beginning; if at the first sign of trouble, he turned tail and ran. I still kept in contact with Austin, Brax and Ellie-May. Matter of fact, I had a lunch date with Ellie that day. She was going through a bit of boy trouble, and since I was the only female friend she had, she’d come to me to talk it out. Not that I had the best track record with the opposite sex, but it was nice to be needed all the same.
I picked up my purse and key and went in search of my cell so I could leave to meet Ellie-May for a little girl time. I just hoped she didn’t talk too much about her eldest brother. I knew she meant well, but I’d made my choice as had he. It still hurt me to hear about his downward spiral though.
“Knock, knock,” I heard called out from the small, paint-chipped front door.
I poked my head around the hall and saw Ellie-May standing at the open entryway. “Hey, you.” I cocked my head to the side slightly in confusion. “I thought we were meeting at the diner?”
“Yeah, uhhh,” she shuffled her feet a little and blurted, “Destry’s there.” I smiled at her concern. She was such a sweet girl.