“Smart, Ridley. Very smart,” I chastised in the silence of my car.

I pulled off the side of the shoulder and onto the road, blasting the radio, determined to drown out all the nasty voices in my head, all the hopelessness and despair that was threatening to overtake me.

The first station I turned to was playing a country song about needing someone in the middle of the night. When the first five or six bars made me want to cry, I switched the channel.

The next song I stopped on was singing about not being strong enough to stand in someone’s arms without falling at their feet.

Click, click, click. I quickly turned the dial. That one made me want to drive my car right off the road.

Every single station I landed on was playing something sad or depressing. I decided to abandon the radio in favor of a CD, but I’d forgotten that the last band I’d chosen was one that reminded me of Bo. I ended up turning the music off completely, deciding I’d be better off listening to the silence than music that made me feel all the more. I didn’t want to feel at all. I wanted mind-numbing, heart-blocking distraction.

By the time I arrived back at my house, my mood was more sour than ever. I had every intention of just going straight back to my room, but Mom called out to me before I could get the door closed.

“There’s a message in here for you.”

I wanted to respond with I don’t care, but that would only further aggravate matters, so I turned from my door and walked back to the living room.

“From who?”

“Sebastian Aiello.”

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“Oh.” At least it could’ve been a good message. “What did he want?”

“He didn’t have your cell number, so he called here. He said that you two had talked about something for tonight.”

I had all but forgotten. I wanted to growl.

“Yeah, he mentioned something about it, but he was supposed to call me.”

“I just told you he did.”

I gritted my teeth.

“I meant sooner than now. Like yesterday.”

“Well, as I said, you didn’t give him your cell number so…”

I sighed. “What time?”

“From eight until about eleven, he said.”

I was feeling prickly and saw an opportunity to be difficult, so I took it.

“Well, I guess you’ll have to call him and tell him that I can’t, since I can’t be out after dark.” I couldn’t hide my satisfied smirk.

“I told him we’d been concerned about all the violence. He’s going to pick you up at 7:30 and he’ll bring you home when he gets back.”

Her smile was slight, but the gleam in her eye was nothing short of victorious. I wanted to scream. I just couldn’t win!

“Great,” I said, too brightly. I’d be darned if I let her see that she’d ruffled my feathers. I refused to give her the perverse satisfaction. “I could use some extra money. I’ll be ready.”

With that, I turned to walk calmly back to my room. Somehow, I even managed to resist slamming the door. Maybe I had more self control that I thought.

It only took about half an hour of trying to occupy myself with music and magazines to realize that it was going to take something much more involved to distract me. That’s when I decided to clean out my closet. And then my drawers.

And then rearrange my furniture.

I worked like the devil was after me until Mom knocked on my door at 7:26, informing me that Sebastian had arrived.

We both looked down at my soiled clothes and she said disapprovingly, “I’ll tell him you’ll be out in just a few minutes.”

I was almost relieved for it to be time to do something else. I welcomed the consuming diversion of Lilly, so I quickly changed clothes and ran the brush through my hair and headed out to meet Sebastian.

I nearly tripped over my feet when I saw him standing in the foyer. He was simply beautiful. It’s not that I was attracted to him per se; I had eyes for only one guy and that guy was Bo. It was more that he was just…breathtaking. Almost painfully perfect. I’m pretty sure that a specimen like Sebastian was used by Michelangelo when he carved David.

Tonight, he was wearing a tuxedo and he looked marvelous. His gleaming skin shone against the stark white collar of his shirt and his shoulders looked impossibly wide. His blond hair was combed neatly away from his forehead, but had fallen rakishly, rebelliously to one side.

When he saw me, he smiled and I felt a flush heat my cheeks.

“Ready?”

I nodded.

“I really appreciate you helping me out like this,” he said, opening the door for me.

“No problem,” I said, brushing past him to step outside.

“Becky,” he said, turning back to address my mother, who hadn’t moved an inch and still hadn’t closed her mouth all the way. “Thanks for letting me borrow her.”

Mom smiled, a dazed sort of smile that made me want to laugh. I’d say Sebastian had that effect on a lot of women. Probably some men, too. Children, animals, plants—I doubted there were many organisms immune to his charm and charisma.

Purring quietly in the driveway was a glossy black sedan that looked ridiculously expensive. I didn’t know much about cars, but only an idiot wouldn’t have known that this one cost a pretty penny. Several, in fact.

He opened my door for me and closed it behind me once I was seated. It closed with a muffled thump that whispered money into the silent interior. The sound of my car door closing was vaguely reminiscent of a nickel hitting the bottom of a tuna can—cheap and tinny.

I inhaled. The car still had that new smell that I loved. I’d tried the air freshener called “new car scent” before, but it smelled more like an old plastic trash bag than this: the real deal.

Sebastian opened the door and folded his long legs behind the steering wheel, shifted into gear and then we were off.

He chatted politely on the short trip, sticking to small-talk topics like school and weather. When we arrived, Lilly was waiting for me, so I barely spoke to him as he left. He merely reminded me that he’d made fresh lemonade, his number was on the fridge and that he’d be back by eleven.

Lilly was dressed in a pink princess nightgown and itty bitty high heel slippers. A tiara was on her crown, nestled in her thick auburn hair. She was gorgeous.

With great pomp and circumstance, she ushered me into her playroom where she had arranged an elaborate tea with several of her favorite stuffed animals, including Pia the polar bear and Lenny the llama.

She showed me my seat and I perched carefully on the edge of the little wooden chair, careful not to put too much of my weight on it.




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