Just thinking about him made her heart flutter within the walls of her chest.
Casually she bent down to adjust the laces on her shoe so she could get a better view. And that was when she saw who she was looking for.
Jay Heaton.
Her heart beat a joyful rhythm as hope blossomed anew. She had to stop herself from grinning; she was all by herself and she didn’t want to appear crazed.
What she wanted was for Jay to finally notice her. She willed him to glance her way, to come to her, but he just kept walking, his eyes searching the crowds for someone else. What she wouldn’t give to be that person, just this once.
And then the look on his face changed, and a smile so sweet that it made her forget to breathe reached all the way into his eyes. He’d spotted the person he was waiting for, and her bloom of hope wilted.
Of course. The girl he was always waiting for . . . Violet Ambrose.
Envy rooted, spreading like a disease. Everyone had always told her how pretty she was, but what had being pretty ever gotten her? No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t get Jay to look at her like that.
Her jaw tightened as she ground her teeth together, trying to imagine what it was that Jay could possibly see in that shell of a girl, why he had ever decided to call Violet his “girlfriend” in the first place. She looked like a zombie, like one of the walking dead. Her skin was gray and slack, her expression . . . well, it was nothing. Violet was empty.
But he didn’t seem to notice. He lifted the backpack from Violet’s shoulders and curled his arm around her, guiding her protectively through the hallway as he led her outside.
She followed at a reasonable distance, trailing the two of them to the parking lot, trying to appear relaxed, like she was just another student. There were so many others around her that it was easy to blend, easy to go unnoticed.
She counted her steps, concentrated on keeping her breathing steady and her head low.
One.
Two.
Three . . .
When they reached Jay’s car, she slowed, keeping her distance so she could watch as he opened the door and helped Violet inside. Her stomach convulsed when he leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss on Violet’s forehead. She reached up and touched her own cold forehead in that same exact spot as she, once again, tried to imagine what it would be like to be in Violet’s place. . . .
For just a minute.
For a week.
Or maybe even forever.
Chapter 6
Exactly six days from when Violet had placed her anonymous phone call, the boy was taken home and buried by his family.
Six days.
She could almost pinpoint the moment it happened, the moment that he felt released, and that her burden was lifted. She was like a comatose princess in some fairy tale when the spell was broken by the kiss of her prince. Except that in her grim fairy tale, the kiss was the funeral of a four-year-old boy.
And there it was . . . that closure she’d been waiting for.
Only three days later, she was back among the living again, sitting in the cafeteria with her friends like the normal girl she wished she could always be. Yet she couldn’t help but notice the absence of her boyfriend.
Apparently, Jay and Mike had been practically inseparable since they’d started hanging out, right after Violet had discovered the boy’s body in the shipyard. Inseparable was probably too strong a word, but to Violet it felt damn close.
She hated being jealous. And of a guy, no less.
She wasn’t exactly sure why it bothered her so much. Jay was allowed to have other friends, wasn’t he? And it wasn’t as if Violet didn’t like Mike; he seemed like a nice enough guy. She just didn’t really know him.
Besides, Chelsea sure liked him. That said something for him . . . even if it was just that he was absurdly hot. From what Violet could tell, everyone seemed to love Mike.
And maybe that was it; maybe she was feeling left out. While everyone else had been getting to know Mike, falling in love with him for the past week or so, Violet had been sort of . . . checked out.
But it wasn’t her other friends she was worried about. It was Jay. She missed him. She missed being alone with him. It seemed like everywhere Jay was, Mike was.
And wherever Mike was, Chelsea wanted to be.
So they’d created an odd foursome, and Violet was feeling crowded. Like the misfit of the group, the only one who wasn’t wild about Mike.
And worse, she was beginning to feel like she was competing for Jay’s attention. It was something she’d never done before . . . and she had no intention of starting now.
She found herself secretly hoping that Mike and Chelsea would hook up already, just to give her and Jay some breathing room.
“What are you thinking about?” Jay asked as he plopped down next to her.
She blinked, wondering if she was wearing her frustration on her face. “Nothing,” she lied, pushing her salad around her plate.
She wasn’t sure why she didn’t just tell him.
“Doesn’t look like nothing,” Jules interrupted from across the table.
Violet cast a quick glare at her friend for inconveniently pointing out the obvious.
“What?” Jay asked, nudging Violet with his shoulder. “Tell me.”
Violet hesitated, suddenly embarrassed over her new insecurity. Yet, inside her head, she bitterly referred to Mike as “Jay’s boyfriend.”
Ironically, though, it was Mike who saved Violet from having to confess those very thoughts, when he slid into an open space on the other side of the table. “What’d I miss?” His lazy smile reached all the way into his tawny-colored eyes, and even the dimple on his cheek made a fleeting appearance.