He reaches up with his spare hand and rubs at his eyes on a long, drawn-out sigh. ‘She laughed.’ William gazes ahead thoughtfully. ‘Tipped martinis down her beautiful throat and carried her stunning body onto the dance floor. I was rapt. Hypnotised. Among the corrupted, sinful best of London was my Gracie. She was mine. Or going to be. When my duty was to lead her away from the seedy underworld that I was destined to run, I was instead luring her in.’
The particles holding that contempt for my mother and the considerable part of my heart that holds pure, raw love for Miller begin to blend. I’m beginning to lose the ability to distinguish between the two . . . just as I suspected and feared. William looks up at me and smiles wistfully, his handsome face pained and remorseful. ‘I bought her champagne. She’d never tasted it. Watching her eyes sparkle in new-found delight lifted a layer from my hard heart. Not once did she stop smiling and not once did my doubt waver that I had to make this young woman mine. I knew I was swimming in murky waters, but I was blinded.’
‘You wish you had,’ I suggest, knowing I’m right. ‘You wish you had seen her out and forgotten about her.’
He laughs a little. It’s condescending. ‘There wasn’t a hope of me forgetting Gracie Taylor. Sounds ridiculous, I know. I snatched a measly hour with her, stole a kiss when she resisted and told her I’d be taking her out the following evening. Somewhere off the beaten track. Somewhere private, where no one knew me. She said no but didn’t stop me when I helped myself to her bag and found some identity to confirm her name and address.’ His smile broadens in an obvious moment of reflection. ‘Gracie Taylor.’ The sound of my mother’s name pleases him, and I can’t prevent a fond smile from developing on my own lips. The blossoming feelings between Gracie and William are picture perfect. Novel material. Consuming and irrational. Then it all went horribly wrong.
I can totally relate to my mother. Despite William and Miller clearly despising each other, they have many similar qualities. She must have been just as blinded by William Anderson as he claimed to be by her. And as I am by Miller Hart.
‘Your obligation to your uncle ruined everything.’
‘Obliterated it,’ he corrects sardonically. ‘My uncle was planning to retire, but a freak accident sent his body to the bottom of the Thames before we got to give him his timepiece.’
My brow crumples. ‘Timepiece?’
He smiles and lifts my hand to his lips, kissing it sweetly. ‘It’s commonly recognised as a good retirement gift.’
‘It is?’
‘Yes, funny, don’t you think? Someone who no longer has to clock-watch is given a watch.’
I chuckle with William, feeling a bond between us budding. ‘It’s quite ironic.’
‘Very much so.’
What’s also ironic is that we’re laughing about this when he’s just informed me that his uncle died so tragically. ‘I’m sorry about your uncle.’
William huffs a sarcastic puff of breath. ‘Don’t be. He got what he deserved. Live by the sword, die by it. Isn’t that what they say?’
I don’t know. Do they? I’m being fed information that is way too vivid and complex for my poor mind to process.
I stammer all over my words, but the comprehension seems to bite me on the arse. ‘Was your uncle an immoral bastard?’
‘Yes,’ he chuckles again, wiping under his eyes. ‘He was the immoral bastard. Things changed once I took over. I might have been a nasty bastard when I needed to be, but I wasn’t unfair. I implemented new rules, sorted the girls out, and weeded out the arseholes on the client list as best I could. I was young, fresh, and it worked. Earned me far more respect than my uncle ever gained. The ones who wanted to stick around and do things my way stayed. The ones who didn’t like the changes went and continued to be immoral bastards. I earned myself a lot of enemies, but even at that age I was not to be taken lightly.’
‘Have you killed anyone?’ I blurt the question without thought, and startled greys flip to mine fast. I almost let an apology slip for asking such a thing, but the wary glaze that descends over William’s clear eyes tells me it’s not such a stupid inquiry. He has.
‘That’s irrelevant, don’t you think?’
No, I don’t, but his cautionary glare prevents me from saying so. Had he not taken someone’s life, then I’m certain he’d be quick to put me right. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t be.’ He reaches over and skims his knuckles over my cheek. ‘Your beautiful mind doesn’t need to be tarnished with ugliness.’
‘Too late,’ I whisper, making William’s delicate touch falter. ‘But we’re not talking about me and my decisions. What happened then?’
Shifting in his seated position, William takes both of my hands and turns to me. ‘We courted.’
‘Dated?’
‘Yes, if you will.’
I smile, remembering Nan using the very same word. ‘And?’
‘And it was intense. Gracie, although young and lacking in experience, had passion built in and ready to unleash. And she unleashed it on me. It sparked an undiscovered hunger in me. A hunger for her.’
‘You fell in love.’
‘I think that happened immediately.’ Sadness washes over his features again, his eyes dropping to his lap. ‘I spent only a month swallowed up in your mother’s fiery desire. Then reality hit, and Gracie and I were suddenly an impossible combination.’
I know exactly how he must have felt, and whatever bond we share just got a little stronger. ‘What happened?’
‘My eye was off the ball and one of my girls paid for it.’
I gasp and reclaim a hand.
He rubs his forehead, reliving the pain. ‘Damage control was something else. My enemies would have been pigs in shit over it.’