I blinked up at Wylend, unsure what to make of the information. It stunned me, certainly—I hadn't expected this.
"You'd rather have a male now?" I asked, my voice quavering.
"No, Reah. If you are in my arms, nothing else matters."
"But you will be going to males during this cycle?"
"Yes. It is the way we were made."
"Will they—will they—try to destroy this?" I twisted Wylend's ring on my finger.
"If they try, I will destroy them," Wylend muttered. "You will be my mate. Anyone I take to my bed must understand that first."
"And Ry—is this how things will be for him?" I think I felt numb, suddenly.
"More than likely. He is currently in a male cycle—his father and I both know this. But when he reaches his first century, we will know for sure. He has already been instructed in the ways of his race—although he is half what Lissa is. Reah, this will never affect my love for you. Please understand that. The Karathians were made this way—our planet rides the line between the Dark and the Light realms. I think this is why the cycles happen and why some of us tend to go so far into good or evil—it is either darkness or light with us, my darling."
Worrying my lower lip, I pondered what Wylend was trying to tell me. "How often?" I asked, not looking at him.
"How often will I invite someone else to my bed?"
"Yes."
"Perhaps once per moon-turn. It is a desire for strong arms around me, Reah. And reassurances from a male while I am in a female cycle. I hope you can understand that."
"I think I do," I nodded. "Do you keep the same partners?"
"Yes—I have three that I depend upon and trust."
"Will I meet them?"
"Erland you have met already."
"But," I couldn't finish that statement.
"Lissa understands now, although at first she didn't," Wylend said softly. "Erland and I have complete trust between us. And our cycles are opposites, as are the other two. When they are in their female cycles, I provide the strong arms and male assurances for them."
"I feel cold," I whispered, trying to hug myself.
"Reah, no," Wylend wrapped his arms around me. "I know this is difficult for you and perhaps harder still to comprehend while you are pregnant. You deserve to know this now. All I want to do is take you to my bed and remove that lost look from your face. I love you and that will not change."
"The three—they will not belittle me? Think me a weak female? Teeg and Tory do." Tears were threatening and I was doing my best to keep them from falling.
"Reah, every emotion you feel they have felt—it is unique to us, I think," Wylend murmured, kissing my shoulder and breathing on bare skin—my top only had the thinnest of straps.
"You mean they know what it's like to be pregnant and thinking the father doesn't give a damn about his child?" I broke away from Wylend and walked away to stand across the room. I could see the guards Norian and Lendill had stationed outside the house through the window of my sitting room.
"Reah, tell me this isn't from your childhood—this fear that the father will abandon or mistreat his daughter."
I whirled to face Wylend. "Of course that fear is with me," I snapped. "And every male is the same, is he not? They think they know better and the female is to be humored or ignored. I think I want to spend the night alone, Wylend."
"Reah, do not do this to us, I beg you. I will not ask for sex if you do not wish it."
"Then you'd be the first one," I said.
* * *
"You told her." Erland didn't make it a question—he saw the look on Wylend's face.
"Yes. Her pregnancy is a factor, my dear. That poor girl is terrified that her child will be treated as she was treated. I'm not sure she truly trusts any male right now. She worried that you and the others would belittle her because she is female."
"Corolan would treat her so gently she could not help but trust him," Erland snorted. "His children have a loving father. And Garek—he would think the sun had landed in his lap if Reah smiled at him."
"And what would you think, Erland?"
"That our tiny Reah needs attention and reassurance. Even Ry has remarked on Tory's reluctance to spend time with her."
"Is it merely new father jitters or something else?" Wylend hadn't realized that Reah's fears were founded in anything other than imagination.
"I think that plays a part, but I also believe that Tory was unprepared for this role. He loves her but this has overwhelmed him, I think."
"If we go to him and express our concern, it may serve to drive him farther away."
"True," Erland nodded at Wylend's assessment.
"Then how are we to comfort Reah? She thinks we discount everything she says and ignore her desires because she is female."
"I do not know—and all of us saw how Addah Desh treated her earlier—he became outraged because she addressed him directly, the pompous ass." Erland shook his head. "If a daughter had been born to me, I would have been equally as happy as with my son."
* * *
I thought about going to Farzi and Nenzi and asking them to come to bed with me. I felt chilled and couldn't explain it. Why had Wylend chosen tonight to tell me what he did? And that after the confrontation with Addah. Addah had never noticed me. Never thought to speak directly to me—it had been through a nanny or through Edan. Now, others controlled my life. Truly, I'd been surprised that Wylend had honored my request to go to bed alone. I knew I needed someone with me—it just couldn't be him. Not this night. Perhaps I could find a way to deal with this soon—I hoped so—I didn't want to give up our relationship. Instead, I curled into a small lump and sniffled miserably throughout the night.
* * *
"I want Karzac," I muttered the following morning when Teeg announced that I needed something to get out of my mood and offered to send for Jes. I didn't expect him to listen, but Karzac was there in moments, checking me over. Exhaustion was the verdict after Karzac finished his examination. I think every male in the house grumbled when they learned they weren't getting any meals cooked by me for two days. It only served to make me feel guilty about it. Karzac put a stop to that by placing a healing sleep for six hours, after making sure I'd eaten something first.
* * *
"Stop pushing her," Karzac growled at the room filled with males. "I fail to understand the logic employed to expose her to that miscreant who was once her grandfather. Nothing good would come of that, no matter when it happened. I have spoken to Erland—Reah is frightened that her child will be treated as she was treated." Karzac glared at Tory, who refused to meet the healer's eyes. "Perhaps you thought only for yourselves, is that it?" Karzac was so angry he folded away rather than allow his temper to run away with him.