He waved her compliment away. “It’s easy when you have a hairdresser, a personal trainer, a chef, blah, blah, blah. Sit down. It’s great to see you!” He tugged her to the sofa and she sat beside him. “Since we haven’t had the chance to catch up in a couple of weeks, tell me how your dad has been?”
“You know the Colonel. Always busy. Always running a tight unit. He’s been all over the world lately. He’ll be heading home next week for a mini-vacation. He hasn’t had one in over a year.”
Jesse nodded. “That man was always driven. Remember that week at the lake we all spent the summer he guarded me?”
Remember? That’s where she and Jesse had fallen for each other, and they’d started talking about the possibilities of a future together.
Nothing had changed since then. Yet everything had. Jesse had drifted into a wild lifestyle, according to the tabloids. Now,
Deke kept intruding in Kimber’s thoughts. Her stomach was in a constant knot of pain. Standing in front of Jesse with Ryan looking on, one big question hit her: Even if she managed to push Deke and Luc out of her heart and started a new future, how could she fit into Jesse’s life?
The details of how Jesse had become attracted to ménages—and where he got the women—should probably trouble her. It had several weeks ago. But since her involvement with Deke and Luc, she hadn’t thought much about it. Certainly, she couldn’t expect celibacy when she hadn’t seen Jesse for so long. And she had problems of her own.
Besides, the last time she and Jesse had talked, he’d said he was ready to give up his partying ways. More than ready. She wasn’t exactly sure what that meant.
Giving up ménages? No matter what, she’d have to forget Deke and Luc enough to handle being with Jesse if they were going to have any sort of future.
“Sure, I remember,” she murmured. “I have fond memories of that week.”
“You know that was my attempt to force your dad to take a vacation.” He had the good grace to look sheepish.
Really? She’d thought—hoped at the time—it had been his ploy to get some extra alone time with her.
Kimber reminded him tartly, “All he did was complain for a week that the cabin was too hard to defend and that any psycho fan could get out on the lake with a sailboat and a high-powered rifle and pick you off.” Jesse rolled his eyes. “Yeah, he never mastered the fine art of kicking back.”
“Nothing has changed.”
“So you’re still working on your nursing exams?” She shook her head. “I just finished my state exam yesterday. Once the results are in, I have to figure out where I’m going to work. I’ve got a couple of offers I’m considering, of course contingent on passing the exams.”
“You’ll pass.” He frowned. “You’re going to get a job? How soon?”
“Six weeks.” She shrugged. “I won’t get my test results until then.”
Something pensive crossed his face. “That gives us a little time—” A sudden hard rap on the door startled Kimber. She and Jesse both turned toward the sound as Ryan opened the suite’s door. An older man dressed in a camel-colored sport coat and an overstarched white shirt stood on the other side and entered the room. As he moved under the light, Kimber saw his hair was dominated by salt more than pepper. Sagging jowls puffed up an otherwise thin man.
He scowled. “Jesse, you’ve got press coming in an hour. Don’t forget.” He turned a sharp stare to the half-empty minibar. “And damn it, don’t get drunk. They spot that shit a mile away, and your reputation isn’t exactly squeaky clean.”
“Cal,” Jesse supplied. “My manager. The soul of kindness.” A deaf man wouldn’t miss the sarcasm in Jesse’s tone. All gruff and rumble, Call blustered out, “I keep you from self-destructing. Without me, you’re one party away from hasbeen.”
“Thanks for the pep talk, Dad.”
His manager turned his watery blue gaze on her. “We haven’t met.” The greeting wasn’t warm, but it wasn’t unfriendly, either.
She wasn’t sure what to make of him, since she didn’t disagree that Jesse needed to tone down the partying. But if she was delivering the message, she would have done it with a little more finesse.
She stood and held out her hand. “No, we haven’t. I’m Kimber Edgington.” Cal’s blank expression as he shook her hand said he’d never heard of her. Odd.
Then again, Jesse had only hired the seasoned veteran about eighteen months ago.
Jesse and Call weren’t close, and their relationship was strictly business.
“I’ve known Jesse for years. We’re old friends.”
“And since we’ve got a little break, Kimber and I are going to catch up,” Jesse chimed in, now standing beside her and wrapping his arm around her shoulder.
“Just remember your priorities, Romeo. We’ve got a lot riding on this next album and upcoming tour.” Call frowned.
“Got it.” Jesse shoved Call toward the door. “I’ll be down in an hour. Thanks for the heads-up. Good to see you. Buh bye.”
Kimber frowned. “You’re going back out on tour?”
“Mostly we’re finishing studio work. There’s a mini U.S. tour, but it’s only ten cities,” he assured, still pushing Cal. “You’ll come with me, won’t you? You said you’d spend at least a few weeks with me. Does it matter where we are?”
“She’s a distraction you don’t need,” Call warned, digging in his heels just short of the door. “It’s not the image we’ve been pushing to the press. Single bad boy with a voice like an angel. Chicks dig it, and it sells records. Word gets out that you have a girlfriend on tour with you, and you watch. The album won’t do as well.”
“If you leave in the next ten seconds, I’ll do an extra press junket in the first three cities.”
With a scowl, Call dashed out, slamming the door behind him. Jesse leaned against it with a groan. “He’s got great business smarts, but he’s so single-minded, he drives me crazy. So, you’ll come with me on tour, right?”
Kimber had cleared her schedule so she could be with him. But a tour?
Everything between them right now felt a little awkward. Having Call and Ryan hanging around wasn’t helping.
Or maybe this…weird feeling was all in her head because she couldn’t get Deke out of her thoughts. Did he regret rejecting and insulting her? Did he miss her at all? Even now, she itched to pick up her cell phone and call Luc, ask him for some word about the hard-headed soldier. But why?
Even if Deke wanted her, he’d never accept his desire. For some reason, she made him vulnerable and he refused to tolerate it.
And damn, it hurt like hell.
Kimber cleared her throat, tried to clear her mind. “I’ll have to make sure there’s nothing going on, but I’m pretty sure I can go.”
“Great.” He shrugged and tugged her back to the couch, plopping down on it and pulling her into his lap. “I really want you to go. I’ve been really looking forward to having you around. You’re just what I need, babe. Without you here, I can be a really bad boy.” Jesse flashed her a thousand-mega watt smile.
Yeah, that’s what all the press about him said. With looks, money, and stardom, he was all about the sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll—pretty much in that order. Sitting on his lap felt weird, since she could only wonder how many other women he’d perched on his thighs and what had happened next. And he didn’t rev her up like Deke or comfort her like Luc.
“How will having me here change your bad ways?”
He picked up her hand, rubbed his thumb along the back.
“You’re a calming influence. My good luck charm. My conscience.”
What? The last time they’d talked she wasn’t wild enough to live his life, and now she was his conscience?
“Don’t frown,” he said. “That’s a good thing.”
Ryan glanced at his watch. “Time to go face Jimmy for the day, toss out the new crop of songs for him to butcher and bitch about for the album.”
“Jimmy is my producer,” Jesse explained as a quick aside to Kimber. “Dodge a few bullets for me, would you? I want to spend a little time with Kimber.” Ryan’s gaze slid over to her, moved over her breasts. She felt somehow touched without permission. Almost violated. She shivered. If he was the third in Jesse’s ménages, and if she stuck this out with Jesse, she’d have to talk to him about finding someone whose mere stare didn’t make her feel the need to shower.
“Sure,” Ryan said. “I need some liquid fortification before I go.” He peered down into the minibar and extracted a couple of the little liquor bottles. He opened one and chugged it straight, in seconds. “Want something?” Jesse looked at the bottles in Ryan’s hands, then at Kimber. Discreetly, she checked her watch. Two in the afternoon, and he was starting on hard liquor? And drinking it straight?
Kimber felt Jesse’s gaze on her, and when she looked up, he shot Ryan a look of faint regret. “Nah. It’s early.”
“Dude, it’s five o’clock somewhere. You always say that.” With a shrug, Jesse pursed his lips, looked away. Then he turned to her with a bright smile. “See, it’s Kimber. She’s already having a positive effect on my life.
Because you’re so good, huh, babe?”
Jesse squeezed her hand. Kimber squeezed back almost as a reflex, but his words rattled around in her brain. Because I’m so good? When had her life in the slow lane become a plus?
“Then I’m looking forward to getting to know her better.” Ryan shot her a smoky look and approached Jesse with a hearty pat on the shoulder, then whispered,
“Save some ass for me.”
Despite Ryan’s low tone, Kimber couldn’t help but overhear it. And it pissed her off. The flaming jerk was making a lot of assumptions about what and who she’d say yes to. Deke and Luc had come as a pair, yes. But Luc had been impossible not to adore. All easy, sophisticated charm. Molasses seduction, slow, sweet, and potent. And Deke… She’d known him and trusted him right from the beginning, even if he could be a bastard and say terrible, hurtful things for the purpose of pushing away the people who loved him.
“Get lost.” Jesse pointed Ryan toward the door.
The band member, four little bottles of booze, and his skull with crossbones tattoo left a moment later. Kimber breathed a sigh of relief.
“Don’t mind him. He can be an ass.”
Kimber didn’t disagree. “He tells me you do everything together. He’s the third in your ménages, isn’t he?”
Jesse squirmed uncomfortably under her waiting stare. “So you know about that?”
“When you said you had a kink and you didn’t think I could handle it, I read a few tabloids, asked around. I got answers.”
“Ah, babe.” He wrapped his arms around her and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.
“It’s lonely without you. Those girls are meaningless. Ryan and Call make sure everything that happens on the road is meaningless. And nailing someone by myself just got too…common. A twice-daily thing, like brushing your teeth.” Twice daily? With a stranger? And regular sex had become too boring?
“Don’t look at me like that. I don’t say it to hurt you. I’m being honest. But you…
you’re the one who matters to me. I won’t be bored with you. I’ve thought about it, and I won’t share you. You’re too sweet. Too good. I need you to stay that way.” Lovely sentiment. But she wasn’t up for sainthood or anything. And what would happen if he did get bored? What would happen if she couldn’t get over Deke?
Frowning, Kimber slid onto the sofa cushion beside him. “I’m not too sweet. I’m not totally innocent. After I found out about your ménages, I looked up someone I knew who’s in to the same thing. He and his cousin…trained me.” Jesse’s face fell. “Trained you? You let them fuck—”
“No,” she cut in. “I told you I planned to come to you a virgin. I have.” Only because Deke had turned her down. Damn, there went that pain in her stomach again, making tight knots into tighter ones. She slept with it, breathed it with it, ached with it. Time was supposed to heal all, but the pain wasn’t easing or going away.
Kimber had offered herself to Deke not because she’d felt sorry for him. As if she’d give her virginity for a pity fuck. The only thing on her mind and in her heart that night had been her desire to heal him, to bond with him, be meaningful to him.
To love him. Somehow, despite his awful words to her afterward, a part of her—a big part—wished that Deke had accepted her offer and taken her. She suspected that him breaking her virgin barrier would help him break through his emotional one.