“You want to try common sense and honesty? Okay. Tell me why you didn’t return Alyssa Devereaux’s phone call. She clearly wants to talk to you, and you avoided her so you didn’t have to face the fact you lost your precious self-control.”
“Alyssa isn’t the subject of this conversation,” Luc bit out.
“It’s a comparison. Work with me. Why won’t you explain to Alyssa the reason you went all caveman on her for six hours?”
“I’ll be honest with Alyssa as soon as you’re honest with Kimber.”
“Stay out of my business.”
“Stay out of mine.” Luc returned. “You want to make love to Kimber all by yourself?”
That was a low blow. Bastard.
“I can get in the little boat outside right now and go home, leave you here alone with her for hours. Days…”
And leave Deke fully responsible.
“Stop.” Restraining a new urge to pound Luc’s face, Deke swallowed. “Just stop.
I’m not ready to say anything to her.”
“Don’t expect her to have unlimited patience. She’s given to you, stripped herself bare for you. If you don’t reciprocate, she’ll be gone.” Deep down, Deke feared—knew—Luc was right. Down the hall, he heard the sound of the bathroom door swinging open. Kimber stepped out.
“Did I hear shouting?”
Deke glanced at Luc, who stood and crossed the room to her.
“TV,” his cousin muttered, then kissed Kimber’s freshly washed cheek before exiting the room and stepping out on the wraparound porch.
Leaving Deke alone with Kimber.
For long moments, neither said anything. Silence ripened, stretched. She cast suspicious glances at the television, clearly too smart to fall for Luc’s BS. But she didn’t pursue it.
“Is there any more coffee?”
With a nod, Deke turned and poured. He added two sugars and a dash of milk.
“You remembered?” She smiled, looking…touched.
God, what would it be like to bask in that smile every day? To know she reserved such beauty for him and no one else? It would be nothing but trouble.
He shrugged in answer. “You know we Special Ops types pay attention to details.
Sometimes, they save your life.”
Her smile wilted. “Of course.”
Damn, he sure knew how to put his foot in his mouth. He’d likened her to a terrorist, rather than a girlfriend. Smooth…
She took the cup, sipped, sat in the seat Luc had vacated, and retreated into her own world. And Deke couldn’t stand it. The silence, as if everything last night and this morning had been nothing. From her perspective, she was probably hoping for affection and closeness. At the very least, kindness.
So far, he hadn’t really given her any of the above. And he doubted he was capable of those in any long-term sense, and hated himself for it. But for her, he’d try. The reality was, learning to do something besides fuck and leave was going to take time.
He sighed and approached her, not at all sure what he was going to say or do.
Kimber looked up as he approached, surprise and wariness dawning across her face as he crossed into her personal space.
“What?”
Deke didn’t say a word. Instead, he bent and picked her up, sat in the nearest chair and cradled her on his lap. He smoothed her damp hair away from her face, and she lifted her gaze to him.
“I’m not very good at talk. I…” How did he sum up the jumble of everything he wanted to say into the right words? “I loved being with you last night.” He pressed a soft kiss to her mouth, insanely proud of himself. That sounded perfect.
Kimber broke away. “If you loved it so much, why did you fight it so hard?”
How did women do that? In two-point-two seconds, cut right past the postcoital talk and sweet words and get knee-deep in shit?
“Kitten, not now.”
“Yes, now. Despite my limited experience, I understand that twelve hours in the sack doesn’t entitle me to make demands, but there’s something going on with you.
I—I want to know what.”
“It’s in the past. It’s not important—”
She pushed off his lap. “If you had to be bullied into sleeping with me, then it’s obviously important and not in the past.”
Hell, hadn’t he just had this conversation, more or less, with Luc?
“Because I’m an idiot with noble ideas who didn’t want to just snatch your virginity without you being really sure. Can we just enjoy being with each other now, rather than getting into all this?”
Deke reached for her again. She backed away.
“No. Whatever it is you’re not telling me is the reason you didn’t want to have sex with me. It’s the reason you fucked Jack Cole’s pretty wife.” Blood rushed up his cheeks. “Actually, that was at Jack’s request. I didn’t—”
“But Jack thought of you because you only do ménages. And this mystery reason is the cause. It’s standing between us, and I don’t know what it is.” Damn, she was right. So right. When had she pieced all that together? She might be younger and less experienced, but she excelled at people.
“One day at a time, huh?” He sighed. “I’m here with you now. I’m not going anywhere. What’s that cheesy movie line; you had me at ‘hello?’ That’s pretty accurate here. Part of me is stubborn and didn’t want to fall in line, but I have.
We’re together. Let’s just accept that for now.” Kimber crossed her arms over her chest and pressed her lips together. That wasn’t the end of this conversation, not by a long shot, but she was tactically retreating for the moment. He let out a big sigh of relief.
“Fine.”
It wasn’t fine, but he hoped he could…distract her from the subject. If he told her the entirety of his screwup, she’d run screaming.
Treading softly, he closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around her. She stood stiff, those arms still crossed. Clearly, she’d learned how to battle on her terms. She couldn’t fight him physically, but her stubborn will was a more than worthy adversary, he’d bet. He ignored her resistance and simply felt her. With a soft hand caressing her back, he dropped a kiss on her forehead, brushed one across her mouth, lingered at her neck. Heaven. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d kissed a woman without any intent to fuck her in the next ten minutes. Just standing here and breathing in her scent, her presence, was a treat.
“You fight dirty,” she grumbled, tilting her head to give him better access to her neck.
“This isn’t fighting. It’s giving you affection. You got a problem with that?” He slid his thumb over her bottom lip.