“I’m not a girl anymore. I have lived over a hundred years; I feel those previous lives. But even if I didn’t, A.F. years are like dog years. Since the Flash, I cared for my mother as if I were the adult, I’ve killed, I’ve planned and executed coups. I’ve had to grow up fast.”
He swigged his flask. “Why doan you tell me what it was like with Death in the beginning?”
Hell. If I gave Jack the details, he’d stride right out those doors and shoot Aric—who wore impenetrable armor. A bullet would simply bounce off. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“He messed with your mind,” Jack insisted. “That’s why you think you feel something for him. No other reason could explain this turnaround.”
“You really believe I’ve been brainwashed?”
“Evie”—Jack held my gaze—“it happened to you once before.” At CLC. “I saw your drawing of Death in your journal, even before the Flash. You depicted a monster. Un scélérat.” A villain.
“Aric has done a lot to me. But he’s also helped me. At the Hierophant’s, I was about to eat . . . human flesh. It was an inch from my lips. I would’ve been lost forever.” Like the filmy-eyed survivors who would hunt me till I died. “Aric stalled Guthrie long enough for my poison to work. And then he saved me from drowning and from Ogen.”
“You wouldn’t have been in any of those situations if not for that bastard! He needs to die. By my hand.”
“You’re not listening to me! Every time you say you’re going to kill him, what you’re really saying is ‘I know better than you.’”
“When we’re together again, you’ll see.”
“You’re so certain we will be?”
A stark look crossed his face. “Of course I am! I told you we could get through anything, and I meant it.”
“I do think you meant it—at the time.”
“At the time? I’m the one constant here. Me! I never gave up on us, never got with another, even when the opportunity presented itself.”
“With Selena?” Had things happened? Or did Jack keep mentioning this because he regretted not taking her up on it?
“It doan matter who with. Death can insinuate it as much as he likes, but nothing went on between me and her.”
I wished I could believe every word that came out of his mouth; I wished my mistrust would fade.
But I couldn’t; and it didn’t. “At any rate, I still think it’s wrong to involve you with Arcana.”
“This is all bigger than you and other cards. The Lovers are connected to the largest fighting force in the South. Maybe even in the world.”
The Flash itself could have been a tribute to the Sun Card, gone wrong.
“The stakes are higher than just this game.” He crossed to me. “They’re the highest they’ve ever been. We’re on the brink.” Our eyes met. “Bébé, you can deny me for other reasons, but not because you’re Arcana.”
“What about because I can’t trust you?”
He knelt before me, putting his forehead to mine, his warm hands covering my shoulders. “I’m goan to earn your trust. You give me the time, and it will happen. Evangeline, what we got together”—his gaze was slate gray—“ça vaut la peine.” It’s worth the trouble.
Jack was rugged and rough around the edges, filled with fierce passions and needs that called to my own. My hard-living Cajun. His hands began to move, rubbing my shoulders, my arms.
He was going to kiss me. Though I craved for him to, I drew back. “This isn’t a good idea.”
Jack studied my face. “You worried Death’ll come back in and fight me?”
Yes! “We can talk, or I can go to sleep. Those are your options.”
With clear reluctance, he let me go. “Talk about what?”
“Uh, what else has been happening in your life?” Lame.
“Something big.” He sat beside me on the hearth. “Coo-yôn hinted that I need to head home, that I could do some good there. Once we get Selena back and the Lovers are dead, you’re coming to Louisiana with me.”
“Louisiana,” I breathed, the word raising a tumult of emotions.
“If that army wants me to lead them, they’re goan to march south at the first opportunity. I told you I’d rebuild Haven for you. Why not settle the area around your farm, establish a new Acadiana? It could be a place of refuge for survivors.”
I’d wanted a home! “You really think we could?” The urge to return clamored inside me.
“Mais yeah, we’ve got this. Doan you know? Together we can do anything.”
“Even end the game?” My excitement dwindled. “Jack, I need to find my grandmother.” Though I had doubts that Gran would help me in my quest (in fact might goad me to play), she was still my last living relative.
“You got to accept that she might be dead.”
“I don’t believe that.” I felt that she lived—against all odds. “And I promised my mother that I’d get to her.”
“Then let’s make a deal. After we ride this route, if you tell me you think we can make it for months out here with no shelter, I’ll set out with you. We’ll take a contingent from the army.”
In a way, agreeing to this would be like making a commitment to him. Again, I glanced toward the door. Aric was out there alone. A memory arose of him staring out into the night, murmuring, “I was called Aric. It means a ruler, forever alone.”