Emeline kept her gaze on Dragomir. She knew he heard every word spoken in that circle of warriors, but it looked as though his entire focus, all his attention, was on her. Her body hurt, every muscle exhausted as if she’d run a marathon. Her mind hurt from trying to puzzle out what to do. She was tired of being afraid, but the truth was, this nightmare was never going to end. When she’d been alone in her house with the parasites tormenting her night and day and the baby inside of her screaming in agony, she had come to that same conclusion. Now, after having hope, it was worse to know there was none. Vadim had marked her in ways she could never get rid of.
Open the door to your friends. Vadim programmed you to believe you were born to betray the Carpathian people. He told you that you were his lifemate. He said it over and over when he was raping you. The rape was mental and emotional as well as physical. He whispered it to you day and night, using the parasites as his way to keep his connection with you. He deprived you of sleep and kept you sick, weak, unable to eat. Emeline, you have been systematically taken apart and made to believe the things Vadim wants you to believe.
She lowered her lashes, unable to meet his gaze, not even through the window. Did he not realize he was a big part of the problem? He was so good to her. He was such a good man. He might believe he lived in a different century, but what man could be sweeter? More supportive? She felt like such a fraud. What had she given him in return? Vadim’s child. More pain and suffering. Survival of attack after attack. Was it ever going to end? She shook her head. She knew Vadim wouldn’t stop. Not ever. Sooner or later Dragomir wouldn’t be fast enough and the vampire could kill him.
A sob welled up and she jammed her fist in her mouth. Where could she go?
To the door. Go to the door and allow your friends to come into the house to visit with you while I am away. I am the man you can trust. You’ve given yourself into my keeping. You have to have faith, Emeline. I know you want to be independent and you think you should be to be worthy, but that is not how I think. I believe partners lean on each other when they need to. It isn’t weakness, it is strength. For this time in your life, when the world feels like it is ending, lean on me. Choose my way, sívamet. Do this for me.
Of course she would do as he asked. What else was there for her when his voice stroked caresses in her mind and righted her tilting world? She forced her stiff body to respond. Very slowly she got to her feet, her eyes on him. She smoothed her hand down the beautiful dress he’d created for her and took a deep breath.
For you, Dragomir, because I’d do anything for you.
Love surrounded her. His love. It poured into her like a healing balm. It spread through her mind, rushing to encompass her heart. The emotion went deeper, finding her soul and wrapping it up in him – in his love. His love was deep and abiding and endless. Unconditional. She saw it and felt it and it made her ashamed that she wasn’t stronger for him. Still, if he wanted her to lean on him, to choose his way in this time of madness, she would follow him. She would do it even when she felt it would be better for him if she left him.
I wouldn’t survive you leaving me. I am weak in ways you cannot imagine. You are my strength. My light in a world of darkness. You just haven’t realized it yet.
She wrapped her arms around her middle as she made her way to the front door. He made her feel extraordinary. In her worst moments, even knowing Vadim hid inside her, a monster waiting to activate his spy, Dragomir still managed to make her feel as if she was beautiful, innocent and amazing. She didn’t know how he did it, but right then she didn’t care. She didn’t care that others might see her as weak. She would lean on him just as he asked, and she would trust him to stay.
I have blood on my face. Smeared. I look awful.
Now you are clean. All you do, sívamet, is picture what you want, in this case a clean face, and you have it. I did it for you, but when you’re alone, practice.
Thank you. She opened the door and Blaze and Charlotte stood there, big grins on their faces and packages in their arms. She stepped back and waved them inside. “I’m sorry it took so long to get to the door.”
“No matter,” Charlotte said. “We’ve brought some awesome things. They arrived this evening, flown in from Paris, as well as from the Carpathian Mountains.”
Blaze flung her arms around Emeline, hugging her tightly, forgetting all about personal space. “I am so excited to see what a prince would send you.”
“Dragomir sent word that you were pregnant. He wanted Ivory Malinov to know she had blood kin, so to speak.”
Emeline’s breath caught in her lungs until she felt as if she were burning for air. You told the other Carpathians about Carisma?
I am proud that our daughter will one day be the lifemate to a warrior. More than likely she will be a warrior herself, defender, like you, of her children and home. Her aunt Ivory is legendary. She hunts with a pack of wolves and her lifemate is Razvan. At one time, he was the most despised man in Carpathian history. Now he is renowned.
A defender of children and her home? Emeline was torn between laughter and tears. Already he was choosing for his daughter.
Look to your gifts.
Emeline wasn’t positive how to feel about what he’d done. Perhaps you should have discussed this with me.
I wanted to surprise you. Carisma is our child, Emeline, but she belongs to all the Carpathian people, and they deserve the chance to welcome her. I knew they would send gifts.
Gifts? She looked at the packages. “Gifts?” she murmured aloud.
“Genevieve is coming as well,” Charlotte said. “She needs adult company. She said if she stayed with the children one more hour she would begin blubbering like a baby.”
Emeline couldn’t help the smile. It was small, but genuine. She pressed a hand to her belly. She was very small to be pregnant, but already the conversion and Dragomir’s care were showing. Her skin and hair looked a thousand times better. She wasn’t in pain, and that took away the lines in her face.
“Dragomir sent word to the Carpathian Mountains, to the prince, that I was pregnant.” She stood, one hand on the door, waiting for Genevieve to get there. She was hurrying up the path.
“And now look. Gifts. I can’t wait to see what they sent,” Charlotte said. “Tariq talks to the prince all the time, and he said Mikhail and Raven were very excited to know you are carrying a girl. We need them desperately.”
Genevieve hurried in, a little breathless but smiling. “Lourdes was upset and didn’t want to take a bath. Thank God for Amelia. She has a way with children.” She hugged Emeline briefly and followed that up with hugging Blaze and Charlotte.
Amelia. Emeline was so glad Amelia was going to be all right. There was no changing the things that had happened to her, but now, at least, she could begin the healing process.
“She is wonderful with children, isn’t she?” Emeline mused. Amelia had been used by Vadim. Her sliver hadn’t lain dormant, Vadim had actually directed her to spy on and harm those within the compound. Emeline had told her she wasn’t responsible. She was a victim.
Her teeth sank into her bottom lip. Had she been lying to Amelia? Did she secretly despise the girl for the things that had happened to her? Things out of her control? No. Of course not. What was wrong with her that she could say those things and mean them to Amelia, but not apply them to herself?
Do you ever get tired of my feeling sorry for myself?
Dragomir’s soft laughter warmed her heart. She loved to hear him laugh. She knew it didn’t happen often and she felt it was a great victory every time she made him laugh – even it if was at her expense. Hän sívamak.
He stroked the endearment along the walls of her mind. Caressing her with it. Beloved. She loved how he called her that. Or his heart. Sometimes it was keeper of his soul. But she loved beloved.
Pesäd te engemal.
I don’t know what that means.
It means you are safe with me. Do you feel safe? Do you know that I would do anything for you? Pesäd te engemal. You are safe with me.
She loved him so much she was overwhelmed with the emotion. She wanted to run to him, fling her arms around him and hold him tight. Just hold him, so he knew he was just as safe with her. She wasn’t going anywhere. If Amelia could face the Carpathian world, holding her head high without an extraordinary man like Dragomir standing beside her, then certainly Emeline could do it.