She knew he was doing his best, feeling his way just as she was. “Emeline, has Liv said she can hear voices whispering?”
Charlotte knew what that felt like. Vadim’s voice talking to her, commanding her to get out of the tunnels. She’d felt violated that he was in her mind and terrified that he might be able to use her as a spy. That splinter was still in her. As long as she was on Tariq’s property she thought she was safe, but maybe she wasn’t. She knew that voice. That horrible, sweet temptation. She studied Emeline carefully. It wasn’t just the voice. She was in pain. Physical pain.
Emeline shook her head slowly. “If so, she hasn’t told me. I know she doesn’t sleep unless Tariq aids her.” She sighed. “Maksim and Tariq have done so much for the children and me. The burden on them is almost unbearable. I can’t think what it must be like for them to try to know the right thing to do. Liv can’t stay in this world as she is. She’s connected to Val and feels his every suffering even though he cannot and he’s in the ground. I can’t imagine what it will be like when he surfaces. All the children suffer, but then what do they do to alleviate that? Should they bring them into their world?” There was an edge to Emeline’s voice, as if the last thing she wanted was to be in the world of Carpathians.
Charlotte took a deep breath and let it out. She wasn’t entirely certain what would happen when Tariq finished the transition on her. She only knew that her senses were extremely acute and she was stronger than she’d ever been. She had no idea what it truly entailed to be Carpathian. It was possible Emeline knew far more than she did. She purposely hadn’t asked Tariq for too many details, wanting to take her time to process before she made that final commitment. She had to go carefully.
“Aren’t they already in that world, Emeline?” Charlotte asked gently.
Emeline pressed both hands to her stomach as a shudder of pain crossed her face. Her body shrank into itself, making her look smaller – thinner – than ever. “Yes,” she whispered. “I guess we all are.”
Charlotte could see her easily in the dark, although she was certain Emeline thought herself hidden. Every breath she drew was shallow. A shudder or wheeze. Lines were etched deep around her mouth. She linked her fingers, still pressing into her stomach as though it hurt, or was cramping. She twisted her fingers together until they turned white, but she kept her face as still as possible, as if they were just talking about the weather.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Charlotte asked. “I’m not Blaze, but I care about you. I have Vadim’s voice in my head. I can’t know what it’s like to be assaulted by him, not physically, but I do know how horrible it feels to carry a piece of him inside me and know he can use that to hurt others.”
Emeline shook her head slowly. “Talking about him makes me sick. I can’t think about him or I want to slit my own throat.” She touched her throat with trembling fingers, right over the jagged scar where Vadim had torn her open to get at her blood.
Charlotte’s heart jerked hard. Emeline wasn’t kidding. Clearly she’d thought about doing that very thing often. There was resolve in her voice. Steel, even.
“Honey. No.” Charlotte kept her tone low. Firm. “That isn’t an answer, and you know that. If you did that, you’d leave the rest of us. You’d leave Liv. She needs you more than she does any of us. We’re trying with her, but she doesn’t feel the connection with anyone but you.”
Emeline ducked her head and didn’t respond.
Charlotte felt as if she was floundering. She pressed her fingers to her temple realizing she had a headache. Instantly Tariq was there, soothing her, taking away the small pain. Reassuring her. Giving her something she knew Emeline and the children needed as well.
“Honey, you know what has to be done. I know you’re afraid of them, but you have to allow one of the Carpathians to heal you enough to stop Vadim from getting to you. You have to sleep. You have to be able to eat. You can’t let him win.”
“What if he attacks Liv and I have no way to communicate with him?” Emeline protested. She shook her head. “I can’t take that chance. If Tariq converts Liv and stops Vadim’s ability to get to her, then and only then will I consider it.”
“Has Blaze explained the process to you? Tariq tells me he’s trying to talk to Carpathian healers about how best to bring the children into their world.”
Emeline closed her eyes tightly and then nodded. When her lashes lifted she stared out into the darkness, pain etched into her face. “She said the pain was excruciating. I don’t want that for Liv, for you, for anyone, but she’s not going to make it if she continues the way she is. They took so much from her, Charlie, so much. She can’t wait. You have to tell Tariq that. Convince him. We’re going to lose her if he waits much longer, and it won’t be to Vadim.”
“What about you, Emme? Are we going to lose you?” Charlotte asked quietly.
Emeline continued to stare out into the darkness. “I’m trying, Charlie. I know they don’t think I am, but I have to work this all out in my head. I’ve never been a warrior woman like Blaze or you. I don’t know how to fight him. I have to figure that out and come to terms with what he did to me. Once I can do that, I hope I can live with it.”
Charlotte let silence stretch between them, hoping Emeline would continue, but she didn’t. Finally, Charlotte tried prompting her. “What did he do? You need to talk about it, Emeline. If not with me, then at least with Blaze. If not with Blaze, Tariq can call in a counselor. Carpathians must have someone like our counselors.”
Emeline shook her head. “I could never talk to strangers. Not about him. I can barely talk to Blaze.” She sent Charlotte a faint smile, the first, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “I don’t know why you’re the lucky one who gets to hear all this.”
“Maybe because you trust me, and you know Vadim can talk to me as well. I touched a carousel horse that he put a curse of some kind on and I got a splinter from it. We can’t get it out and it’s horrifying to know that I’ve got some part of him inside me.”
Emeline moistened her dry, swollen lips. “He forced his blood on me. It burned. It burned all the way down my throat and into my body. My heart and lungs. Every organ in my body. It still burns. Then he forced me to drink blood from a cup.” Her voice cracked and she shook her head. Tears shimmered and several caught on her long lashes. “Drinking that blood was different, not like drinking acid, but it was still so horrible, like being caught in the worst nightmare possible.”