The frantic call pulled at her consciousness. She frowned, unable to move, unable to see, her body a motionless weight tying her down.
Nikki! Listen to me!
Golden light surrounded the stillness around her, freeing her from fear, filling her with peace and an intense need to be one with the light.
NO!
Gentle music washed across her senses. It flooded her cold body with warmth, releasing her from the dark weight of pain holding her captive. Suddenly free, her spirit rejoiced, dancing in radiance as she drifted towards the long golden tunnel.
Stay with me!
Something in that urgent plea made her hesitate, and the call of the golden light muted. Yet she didn't have the strength to go back, didn't have the courage to face the fear and the pain. The honeyed light pulsed, welcoming her, calling...
Nikki, I need you. Don't leave me.
The cry made her heart weep bitter tears. She wasn't worthy of the urgency in that entreaty, wasn't sure she was even capable of understanding it. And it was too late. Far too late. Dancing in brightness, she drifted closer to the light.
Nikki, do you want to live?
Did she? The question echoed through the soft warmth surrounding her. Did she want to live? Images of Michael ran through her mind. Oh yes, she wanted to live. But only with Michael. And that was an impossible dream.
It was too late anyway. The choice had gone.
No! If you trust me, there is a way.
No! Not as a vampire! Better death than a vampire.
Cold steel filled his thoughts. Do you trust me?
Trust was a flickering fire, so easily put out. So few people had earned its warmth after her parents’
death. Only Jake, and he too was dying.
Jake needs you Nikki. I need you.
She closed her eyes against the pain in his entreaty. Michael didn't need her. He didn't need anyone. Maybe that was half her problem. He could walk away, and it wouldn't matter to him. But Jake had to live. He couldn't die because of her.
Come to me Nikki. Let me save you. For Jake's sake, if not for mine. She spun in confusion, afraid to go forward and afraid to go back. The warm light pulsed, healing and calming. She sighed. Here at last was the peace she had searched so long for. It would be so easy to give in to its warmth. Easy, but was it right? She didn't know, and that scared her more than the thought of dying.
Forgive me, Nikki. I can't let you do this.
Something grabbed her soul and yanked her down into darkness. The golden light began to recede. She wept and reached out towards it, a desperate swimmer fighting the tide pulling her away. Her efforts were ignored. The light disappeared, and she was thrust through layers of darkness and gathering pain. Then the red mist enclosed her brain and swept her away.
Chapter Sixteen
Michael?
The harsh whisper ran through his mind. He closed his eyes and leaned back in the armchair. He didn't feel like talking to anyone right now, particularly Seline. Yet she was the one person who might understand. He sighed and silently acknowledged her probe.
Michael, what have you done?
He smiled grimly. What had he done? Even now, he wasn't entirely sure. He'd risked his life and cheated death, but until Nikki regained consciousness, he wouldn't know if it were all worth it. There could be aftereffects, either from her drowning or his own intervention. There was a very real possibility he might have destroyed the fire he was trying to save.
He raised the beer, taking a long drink. It didn't ease the burning in his throat. Michael?
Worry shot through Seline's mental tones. He sighed again. She'd be out to Lyndhurst in a flash if he didn't start answering. The last thing he needed was a face-to-face confrontation with the old witch. Here.
Michael, what on earth have you done? Half the circle has had visions of you in trouble. And it was unusual enough for Seline to worry. No doubt his ice cool reputation had been shot all to hell, as well.
I think I've fallen in love, Seline.
Heavens, boy, I knew that ages ago. Just answer the question, or I'll come over in person and box your ears.
The threat made him smile, as she no doubt intended. Seline barely reached his shoulders, and was a thin, frail-looking woman. But she didn't look the one hundred and eighty years Michael knew her to be, and she certainly didn't act it.
We've known each other a long time, Michael. I thought trust was part of what we shared. Trust wasn't his problem. Would she understand the sheer desperation that had made him act as he had?
Would she accept his need to break a vow? Understand that he might lose Nikki anyway, because of his actions?
She was dying, Seline. I shared my psyche with her.
Made her live, against her will. He closed his eyes and took another long gulp of beer. The sudden tension down the mental lines told him Seline understood the risk he'd taken. Dear heavens, Michael, are you all right?
Exhausted. Weak. But alive. Obviously.
Can you cope with Jasper? Will you have the strength?
I'll cope. And Jasper would pay for every ounce of pain he'd put Nikki through. Is she ... all right?
Michael opened his eyes and studied Nikki's still features. She lay unmoving on the bed, her skin almost translucent, as if still held by the specter of death. He couldn't reach her mind, couldn't open the link between them, and it worried him.
I don't know.
How did all this happen?
Jasper set a trap, using Nikki's boss as bait.
That Jake still lived was a miracle. With the injuries he'd sustained, he'd have to be surviving on sheer force of will alone. But such courage deserved respect. Michael hoped the hospital could work a miracle. Not just for Nikki's sake, but his own. Jake was a rare find in this day and age—someone who looked beyond fear, beyond humanity, to see the person that lay beneath. Do you need a hand? Gail's available.
I'll handle it.
But—
I said I'll handle it.
Concern ran down the link. Are you sure? Gail's ready to go. The bastard's mine!
Her thoughts recoiled from the force of his anger, and he cursed. Lashing out at his friends would help no one, least of all Nikki.
Sorry.
I understand, Michael. Just be careful. You're no good to your Nikki if you make yourself so damn weak you can barely stand.
I know. He took another gulp of beer. What the hell am I going to do once all this is over?
What do you think you should so? What do you want to do?
What he should do and what he wanted to do were two very different things. They don't have to be, Michael. She's a very resilient young woman. She'd fit nicely into our circle.
And have her share his world of darkness? As much as he ached to do just that, to finally have someone to walk by his side, it wasn't right or fair to ask her to do so. Darkness had been too much a part of her life already.
You should at least give her the opportunity to refuse, Michael. She doesn't want me in her life. She doesn't want anyone in her life. Amusement filtered down the line. That sounds terribly familiar. Wonder where I've heard that before?
He smiled. I have to leave her. I have no real choice.
Believe an old witch when she says the future is clouded when it comes to the two of you. There is no clear-cut choice here, no right or wrong.
He ran a hand through his hair. Fat lot of good that advice does me. Then listen to your heart Michael. It may be buried deep, but I know it's there somewhere. Now get something to eat before you fade into shadow.
She broke the contact. He sighed and finished the rest of his beer. Seline was right. If he couldn't touch Nikki's mind now, after all they'd shared, what hope did Jasper have?
He pushed out of the chair that had been his home for the last thirty-six hours and walked across to the window. The late afternoon light washed through the lace curtains. Even in his weakened state, the sun held no threat.
But fatigue did.
He had to eat, had to regain strength as quickly as he could. When he finally caught Jasper, he had to be fit enough to take him.
The bastard had to pay.
She floated in a soothing sea of darkness, a world without sound, without worry. At peace. Yet something within was restless, needing to be gone from this place. A voice called, but she turned away, not wanting to confront the pain it represented. The voice would not be ignored. It filled her mind, demanding her return, relentless in its pursuit. Stirred to life, she finally woke and opened her eyes.
She was in her own room. Nikki blinked, confused. How did she get here?
Michael, obviously. Somehow he'd passed the barrier threshold of her home. Somehow, he'd forced her to live.
She bit her lip and looked around the room. Nothing had changed. But she was alone and had been for some time. Michael was nowhere near—he was several miles away, gaining nourishment from a herd of dairy cows.
She blinked. How could she possibly know that without reaching for the link? What has he done to me?
She clenched her fists and closed her eyes, trying to recall the last moments in the mine. She remembered the golden light and its comforting warmth—remembered Michael's desperate plea. Then something had yanked her back into darkness.
Michael. Breaking his vow.
He'd saved her life, but at what cost? Was she even human anymore?
She threw the covers aside and scrambled out of bed, running across to the window. The sun peeped brightly around the edges of the curtains, and she flung them open, allowing the late afternoon sunshine to wash over her. Better a death like Monica's than life as a vampire. Nothing happened.
The sunlight caressed her skin, warming but not burning. She leaned her forehead against the windowpane and closed her eyes. So she wasn't a vampire. At least Michael had heeded her wishes in that regard. But how had he saved her? Why did she feel no pain, no aches, after being trapped in the water under rocks and debris? How had he saved her, and at what cost to them both?
Her senses danced with the knowledge of change, yet blurred into confusion when she tried to understand how. And though she needed answers, she didn't want to reach for the link and Michael. A line had been crossed. Nothing would ever be the same—not with her life, and not with Michael. She opened her eyes, and stared at the traffic running past her window. One thing hadn't changed, at least. He had to leave.
Jasper was still loose. And despite what Michael might say, Jasper's grip on her was growing stronger. His darkness stained the far corners of her mind, and it was becoming harder and harder to ignore. She turned and made her way into the kitchen. Opening the refrigerator door, she was shocked to see it brimming with fresh food.
Make use of it.
Michael's comment came through like an order. A compulsion to obey leapt through her. She gripped the edge of the refrigerator, fighting it. Taking a deep breath, she slammed the door closed and leaned back against the bench.
He only had to make an order, and she wanted to leap up and obey. Why? What had happened in the dark hours lost to her memory? Had Michael succeeded where Jasper had failed?
A sigh of frustration ran through her mind. She tried to shut him out, needing to be alone, needing time to simply think.
Yet she knew time was the one thing they had precious little of. She made herself a cup of coffee and grabbed an apple from the fruit basket, alternating between the two as she wandered aimlessly around the living room. Waiting—but for what she wasn't sure. The phone rang shrilly into the silence. Her heart accelerated as she reached for the receiver. She knew who called. Knew why.
"Mary,” she said softly, blinking back a sudden rush of tears.
"Nikki, you're awake. I was hoping you might be.” Her voice sounded weary, old. “Though the last time I saw you, you looked like death."
She had a sudden vision of Jake, pale and dying, and felt a rush of despair. Don't let me lose him, too. I couldn't bear it.
"Nikki?"
She swallowed the lump in her throat. “How's ... How's Jake?"
"That's why I'm calling. He's alive, Nikki. It was touch and go for a while, but the doctors think he'll pull through."
She closed her eyes and sent a prayer of thanks to the heavens. Then the rest of Mary's words hit her. How long had she been out?
Three days. Michael's thought winged lightly into her mind. I need to be alone, Michael. Please, just leave me be for a while. At least until she figured out how to get him out of her life—or if she even could, anymore.
"Jake wants to see you, Nikki. He won't settle down until he does,” Mary said into the silence. She glanced across to the window. Twilight was settling in. She had, at best, an hour's light left. Jasper would be up and about.
She closed her eyes, weighing her fear of him against her need to see Jake. It wasn't even close. “I'll be there in twenty minutes."
Hanging up the phone, she returned to her bedroom and got dressed. She strapped on her wrist knives, then hesitated, staring at the floor. If she was going to do this, she had better make sure she could protect herself. And that meant getting something that might deter a vampire. She walked across the room and opened the closet door. Squatting, she dragged out the old cutlery set and took out two knives. They were badly tarnished, but hopefully it wouldn't matter. It was still silver underneath—just how much silver though, she couldn't say. She pushed a knife down each boot, then rose and stamped her feet lightly. The knives might make walking slightly uncomfortable, but she felt better for their presence.
Wait for me.
She ignored Michael's request. Grabbing her coat and car keys, she headed out the door. Jake wanted to see her right now, and that was all that mattered.
The hospital was only a ten-minute drive away, but shadows were crowding the parking lot by the time she stopped the car and climbed out. Jasper wasn't anywhere near, yet something watched her. Something not quite human.