I would not read the papers myself, all this time. In America
I had studied them, and in Switzerland and in Florence I had
devoured them. Here in the Holy Land, I had made an agreement
with myself to be happy; to leave the care of things which I
could not manage, and not to concern myself with the
fluctuations on the face of affairs which I could not trace
out to their consequences, do what I would. So. I heard the
principal points of news from papa's talk and Mr. Dinwiddie's;
I let the papers alone. Only with one exception. I could not
help it. I could not withhold myself from looking at the lists
of wounded and killed. I looked at nothing more; but the
thought that one name might be there would have incessantly
haunted me, if I had not made sure that it was not there. I
dreaded every arrival from the steamers of a new mail budget.
From Mr. Thorold I got no letter. Nor from Miss Cardigan. From
Mrs. Sandford one; which told me nothing I wanted to know. To
mamma papa had writ- ten, describing to her the pleasure we
were enjoying and the benefit his health was deriving from our
journey, and asking her to join us at Beyrout and spend the
summer on Lebanon.
Towards Beyrout we now journeyed gently on; stopping and
lingering by the way as our custom was. At Nablous, at
Nazareth, at Tiberias, at Safed, at Banias; then across the
country to Sidon, down to Khaiffa and Carmel; finally we went
up to Beyrout. Papa enjoyed every bit of the way; to me it was
a journey scarcely of this earth, the happiness of it was so
great. Mr. Dinwiddie everywhere our kind and skilful guide,
counsellor, helper; knowing all the ground, and teaching us to
use our time to the very best advantage. He made papa more at
ease about me, and me about papa.
At Beyrout, for the first time since we left Jerusalem, we
found ourselves again in a hotel. Mr. Dinwiddie went to find
our despatches that were awaiting us. Papa lay down on the
cushions of a divan. I sat at the window, wondering at what I
saw. I wonder now at the remembrance.
It was afternoon, and the shades and colours on the mountains
and the sea were a labyrinth of delight. Yes, the eye and the
mind lost themselves again and again, to start back again to
the consciousness of an enchanted existence. The mountains
rising from the coast were in full view of my window, shaded
with all sorts of green from the different woods and
cultivation which clothed their sides. The eye followed their
growing heights and ridges, till it rested on the snow summit
of Sunnin; then swept round the range to the southward; but
ever came back again to the lofty, reposeful majesty of that
white mountain top in the blue ether. Little streams I could
see dashing down the rocks; a white thread amongst the green;
castles or buildings of some stately sort were upon every
crag; I found afterwards they were monasteries. The sea waves
breaking on the rocks of the shore gave other touches of
white, and the sea was taking a deep hue, and the town
stretching back from it looked gay and bright, with pretty
houses and palm trees and palaces, and, bright-coloured
dresses flitting here and there in the streets; and white
sails were on the sea. I had never seen, I have never seen,
anything more lovely than Beyrout. I had come to the city
rather anxious; for we expected there to meet a great budget
of news, which I always dreaded; wandering about from place to
place, we had been blissfully separated for some time from all
disturbing intelligence. Now we must meet it, perhaps; but the
glory of the beauty before me wrapped my heart round as with
an unearthly shield. Peace, peace, and good will, - it spoke,
from Him who made the beauty and owned the glory; softly it
reminded me that my Father in heaven could not fail in love
nor in resources. I leaned my head against the frame of the
open window, and rested and was glad.