“Ma petite, I will soon be down for the day.”
“The time difference is going to take some getting used to,” I said as I sat on the edge of the king-size bed.
“Yes, but I cannot take the ardeur for you while I sleep. You may wake for the morning before I do, and if so, then you will need to feed the ardeur when you wake. You must also eat a real breakfast, not just coffee. I need you to take care of your physical needs so that me being unable to take your other hunger will not get out of hand for you.”
“Crap,” I said, and the wave of tiredness washed over me.
“Ma petite, what is wrong?”
I didn’t try to explain, just thought about the last few hours. He got the shorthand version, all the awful in a fraction of the time. His comment was “That is truly terrible, ma petite. I am so sorry that you are having to deal with such things.”
“It’s my job,” I said.
“Actually, it is not, but I understand that you feel that way.”
Opening to him enough to share the memories let me know that he was alone in the bedroom sitting on the edge of the bed as I was. “Has Richard gone back home?”
“Oui, Jason has arrived from New York.”
“Tell him hi for me and give him a hug. I miss him.”
“As do I, ma petite. If you are still away by the next weekend, his J.J. will be joining him here in St. Louis for a few days.”
I thought about the blond ballerina who had finally won Jason’s heart. They were very warm thoughts on my part. She was probably my favorite female lover after Echo. I wasn’t sure why Fortune and Magda were third and fourth on that list respectively, but I could honor the truth of it without overanalyzing it. Fortune was committed to Echo and liked men a lot. Magda seemed content to treat all of us as fuck buddies.
“Have fun,” I said.
“I hope that you are home by then, ma petite.”
“Me, too. Hey, ask him if I am home next weekend, could he and J.J. stay over anyway?”
“I will happily do so,” he said.
I smiled. “That would be great.”
“I have spoken with Micah on the phone about the Roane and their plight with She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.”
“Edward’s calling her that, too. I’d really prefer not to mix Harry Potter with this awfulness.”
“As you like, ma petite. Micah will be speaking with Rafael at more length since they are both still on the West Coast trying to prevent a shapeshifter war.”
“I’d have thought the negotiations would be done by now, or they’d have picked who to fight and kicked their asses.”
“I do not have all the details, but it seems more complex than first explained.”
I thought about calling Micah, but it seemed too complicated, especially if I still had to feed the ardeur. Why was I this discouraged? Was it the jet lag? Edna Brady’s screams? The fact that two entire families had been wiped out by this new vampire? Or the thought that something we had done to the Mother of All Darkness had weakened Damian’s old master enough to allow the new vampires to get a foothold here in Dublin? I kept coming back to that: Somehow this was our fault for not taking charge of things. We’d just wanted to run America and trust the rest of the world’s vampires to take care of business. I was beginning to realize how naïve that may have been.
“Ma petite, this is not our doing. Do not take on the guilt of it.”
“Was I thinking that loud?”
“Yes,” Nathaniel said as he went into the bathroom and closed the door. I realized that Nicky, Dev, and Damian were all in the room. There was no way that all of us were going to be able to sleep in one king-size bed.
“They are a bounty, ma petite, not a burden. Please remember that.”
“I will, but thanks for the reminder.”
“Time is growing short here, ma petite. I must sleep and the demon we share must come home to you.”
“The ardeur isn’t a real demon, Jean-Claude. It isn’t even evil, just occasionally inconvenient.”
“It is still the power that has earned me the title of incubus, and you that of succubus.”
“Fine, but I’ve dealt with real demons, Jean-Claude, and it’s a whole new level of bad.”
“That I believe, ma petite, but dawn is almost upon me. Are you prepared for the ardeur to be returned?”
“You fed it well today, right?”
“Oui.”
“Then it shouldn’t need feeding again that soon. I can control it better than that now.”
“Tonight, yes, but I can feel that you have donated too much blood and not eaten enough real food, plus the jet lag and the stress of your job. You underestimate how much energy it all takes.”
“I promise that I will eat breakfast tomorrow morning, and I will feed the ardeur without it forcing me to feed it.”
“Thank you, ma petite.”
“You’re welcome. I’m just exhausted. We’re all tired.”
The four men looked at one another and then at me. “You just need to pick your bedmates so we can all get some sleep,” Nathaniel said, smiling.
“Ma petite, they are all handsome, all good lovers, and you are in love with two of them. Do not allow the ugliness of the night to paint this moment as anything less than beautiful.”
I sighed and knew he was right. I really did. My therapist would have agreed with him, but I was still exhausted and discouraged, and I felt vaguely like everything going wrong was my fault somehow, so why did I deserve such happiness after what had happened to the Bradys and the Royces?