The plane swayed in the air, as if it had heard him talk about it. I clutched the armrest and Nathaniel’s hand. “Talking about something would be good,” I said, my voice a little strained.
“I’m sorry, Anita, but even to distract you while you’re being all brave about your fears, I’m not blowing this relationship. It’s too important.”
Dev looked at his cousin. “You’re serious about whoever it is.”
Pride nodded.
He stared at the other man and finally clasped his shoulder, so that Pride looked at him. “Would you marry her?”
Pride shook his head, then said, “I mean, yes, if she’d have me, but right now she doesn’t want to marry anyone.”
“How long are you willing to wait?” I asked, because getting all up in Pride’s personal business was better than worrying about how aerodynamics worked.
“As long as it takes,” he said.
“Depending on who or what she is, that could be a really long time,” I said.
“She’s worth it.”
“Wow,” Dev said, “I haven’t heard you this serious since we were thirteen and you wanted to marry the little girl next door.”
“I was thirteen, and you and your sister both broke my heart with the little girl next door.”
“We played ‘show me yours and I’ll show you mine’ with her. You could have come and played with us.”
“I was as serious as a thirteen-year-old boy could be about her. I didn’t want to play with her. I wanted to profess my first true love.” Pride laughed at himself, I think.
“She grew up way too kinky for you, Pride.”
Pride looked at the other man. “How do you know?”
Dev grinned. “Angel went to the same college.”
“Do I want to know?”
Dev grinned wider. “Probably not.”
Pride shook his head and rolled his eyes. “I’ll keep my illusions about my first serious crush, thank you.”
“If Angel decides to bring her home to visit, I’ll warn you first.”
“Wait. What?” Pride asked.
“Could we really get to meet the little girl you guys first played house with?” I asked.
Dev grinned at me. “Angel and she kept in touch after college. They’re both bi, so they got a place together with some other recent graduates trying to make it in the big city.”
“We don’t bring roommates home,” Pride said.
“When Angel came home this last time, she said they were dating and have been for most of the time she’s been out on her own. She’s pretty pissed that she got called to the bosom of her family after establishing a successful life outside the clan.”
“Is that why she’s so cranky all the time?” I asked.
“Partly, but she’s always been the less friendly of the two of us. She blames being named Good Angel. Names like that just make you want to rebel against them.”
“So, Mephistopheles, why didn’t you rebel and become the perfect little angel?” I asked.
He grinned again, and then his eyes filled with a heat that changed the grin to something more primal that made me shiver a little as he stared at me. “I went the other way,” he said, in a voice that almost purred. “I decided to be my name.”
“Mephistopheles,” I said.
“Devil,” he said.
The plane lurched again, and I fought not to dig my nails into Nathaniel’s hand but just the chair arm. “I try to be on the side of the angels, but I play like I’m for the other team,” I said, my voice a little strained.
“You make us all play for the angels, but you recruit from the other side,” Nicky said.
“You’re not a devil,” I said, looking up at him.
“I’m not an angel, either.”
“You like reformed sinners, Anita,” Fortune said, leaning on the side of Pride’s chair.
“You make me sound like the Salvation Army.”
“I’m not reformed,” Nicky said.
“Me either,” Dev said.
“I guess to be reformed you have to be repentant, and neither of you are that,” I said.
Fortune laughed. “They are so not that.”
“We’ll be getting food soon.”
“I don’t know if I can eat,” I said.
“You have to eat, Anita. It helps quiet all the other hungers.”
“You have to eat real food, Anita,” Nicky said.
“If you don’t eat actual food, you’ll have to feed the ardeur before we land,” Nathaniel said.
“Which could spread to the pilot. Yeah, Jean-Claude explained that,” I said. I looked up at Fortune. “So what’s for dinner?”
34
I WAS FINE until we started to land, and then having the windows closed became a problem again. Landing scared me anyway, but apparently being able to see out while it was happening made it less scary for me, because being trapped in a narrow metal tube with the sensation of it hurtling toward the ground, but not being able to see the ground, so I couldn’t tell if we were actually landing, or crashing . . . I started to have a panic attack, fought through it, and held on to Nathaniel and Nicky for dear life. Dev reached across and put a hand on the one thigh that didn’t have a hand on it already, and said, “It’s okay, Anita.”
I wanted to say, You can’t promise that, but I was afraid if I said anything I’d either start screaming or throw up, so it was better to keep my mouth shut. I felt the bump as the plane landed. I closed my eyes and tried to be relieved, and I was, but I was also almost faint with the desire to get off this fucking metal tube of death!