“When I kiss my boyfriend, I want to know he feels it!” As soon as I said it, I regretted it. I didn’t want to hurt him—I just wanted to get this moment over with as quickly as possible before I unraveled and broke down sobbing. But I’d gone too far. I saw him stiffen. We stood face-to-face, both of us breathing hard.
Then he strode out, yanking the door shut behind him.
Once the door was closed, I collapsed against it. Tears burned at the back of my eyes, but not a single drop fell. I had too much frustration and anger clashing around inside me to feel much of anything else, but I suspected in a way that caused a sob to catch in my throat, that five minutes from now, when everything else had dropped away and I realized the full impact of what I’d done, I’d feel my heart breaking.
CHAPTER 3
I LOWERED MYSELF ONTO THE CORNER OF MY bed, staring into space. The anger was beginning to wear off, but I almost wished I could stay caught up in its fever forever. The emptiness it left behind ached more than the sharp, fiery pain I’d felt when Patch walked out. I tried to make sense of what had just happened, but my thoughts were a disjointed mess. Our shouted words rang in my ears, but they echoed helter-skelter, like I was recalling a bad dream rather than an actual conversation.
Had I really broken up with him? Had I really meant for it to be permanent? Was there no way around fate or, more immediately, the archangels’ threats? By way of an answer, my stomach twisted, threatening to be sick.
I hurried to the bathroom and knelt over the toilet, my ears clanging and my breathing coming out shallow and choppy.
What had I done? Nothing permanent, definitely nothing permanent. Tomorrow we’d see each other again and everything would go back to the way it had been. This was just a fight. A stupid fight. This wasn’t the end. Tomorrow we’d realize how petty we’d been and apologize. We’d put this behind us.
We’d make up.
I dragged myself to my feet and turned on the sink faucet.
Wetting a washcloth, I pressed it to my face. My mind still felt like it was unraveling faster than a spool of thread, and I squeezed my eyes closed to make the motion stop. But what about the archangels? I asked myself again. How could Patch and I have a normal relationship when they were constantly watching us? I froze. They could be watching me right now. They could be watching Patch. Trying to tell if he’d crossed the line.
Looking for any excuse to send him to hell, and away from me, forever.
I felt my anger reignite. Why couldn’t they leave us alone?
Why were they so bent on destroying Patch? Patch had told me he was the first fall en angel to get his wings back and become a guardian angel. Were the archangels angry over that? Did they feel Patch had somehow tricked them? Or that he’d cheated his way back up from the bottom? Did they want to put him in his place? Or did they merely not trust him?
I closed my eyes, feeling a tear travel down the side of my nose. I take it all back, I thought. I desperately wanted to call Patch but didn’t know whether I’d be putting him at some kind of risk. Could the archangels listen in on phone conversations?
How were Patch and I supposed to have an honest talk if they were eavesdropping?
I also couldn’t let go of my pride that quickly. Didn’t he realize he was just as much in the wrong? The whole reason we’d fought in the first place was because he’d refused to tell me what he was doing at Marcie’s house last night. I wasn’t the jealous type, but he knew my history with Marcie. He knew this was the one time when I had to know.
There was something else causing my insides to sicken.
Patch said Marcie had been attacked in the men’s room at Bo’s Arcade. What was Marcie doing at Bo’s? As far as I knew, nobody at Cold-water High hung out at Bo’s. In fact, prior to meeting Patch, I’d never heard of the place. Was it a coincidence that the day after Patch was gazing at Marcie’s bedroom window, she’d wandered through Bo’s front doors?
Patch had insisted there was nothing but business between them, but what did that even mean? And Marcie was many things, among them seductive and persuasive. Not only did she not take no for an answer, she didn’t accept any answer that wasn’t exactly what she wanted.
What if, this time, she wanted … Patch?
A loud rap at the front door brought me out of my reverie.
I curled up in the heaps of pillows on my bed, closed my eyes, and dialed my mom. “The Parnells are here.”
“Ack! I’m at the light on Walnut. I’ll be there in two minutes.
Invite them in.”
“I barely remember Scott, and I don’t remember his mom at all. I’ll invite them in, but I’m not making small talk. I’ll hang out in my room until you get back.” I tried to convey in my tone that something was wrong, but it wasn’t like I could confide in my mom. She hated Patch. She wouldn’t sympathize. I couldn’t take hearing the happiness and relief in her voice. Not now.
“Nora.”
“Fine! I’ll talk to them.” I snapped my phone shut and threw it across the room.
I took my time walking to the front door and flipped the lock back. The guy standing on the doormat was tall and well built— I could tell, since his T-shirt fit on the snug side and blatantly advertised PLATINUM GYM, PORTLAND. A silver hoop ran through his right earlobe, and his Levi’s hung dangerously low on the hips.
He wore a pink Hawaiian-print ball cap that looked fresh off a thrift store shelf and had to be an inside joke, and his sunglasses reminded me of Hulk Hogan. Despite all this, he had a certain boyish charm.
The corners of his mouth turned up. “You must be Nora.”
“You must be Scott.”
He stepped inside and pulled off his sunglasses. His eyes scanned the hall leading back to the kitchen and family room.
“Where’s your mom?”
“On her way home with dinner.”
“What are we having?”