Notwithstanding her firm conviction that Maude Matilda Remington Blodgett was her last and
only one, she was now the mother of a sturdy boy, which the meek man
carried in his arms. Hot disputes there had been between the twain
concerning a name, Mr. Hopkins advocating simply John, as having
been borne by his sire, while Janet, a little proud of the notoriety
which her daughter's cognomen had brought to her, determined to
honor her boy with a name which should astonish every one.
At the time of Maude's engagement with J.C. De Vere she had written
to know what J.C. was for, and Jedediah Cleishbotham pleased her
fancy as being unusual and odd. Indirectly she had heard that Maude
was married to Mr. De Vere, and gone to Europe, and supposing it was
of course J.C., she on this occasion startled her better half by
declaring that her son should be baptized "John Joel Jedediah
Cleishbotham," or nothing! It was in vain that he remonstrated.
Janet was firm, and hunting up Maude's letter, written more than
three years before, she bade him write down the name, so as not to
make a blunder.
But this he refused to do. "He guessed he could
remember that horrid name; there was not another like it in
Christendom," he said, and on the Sunday morning of which we write
he took his baby in his arms, and in a state of great nervous
irritability started for church, repeating to himself the names,
particularly the last, which troubled him the most.
Many a change he rang upon it, and by the time he stood before the altar the
perspiration was starting from every pore, so anxious was he to
acquit himself creditably, and thus avoid the Caudle lecture which
was sure to follow a mistake. "But he should not make a mistake; he
knew exactly what the name was; he'd said it over a hundred times,"
and when the minister, taking the baby in his arms, said, "Name this
child," he spoke up loud and promptly, jerking out the last word
with a vengeance, as if relieved to have it off his mind, "John Joel
Jedediah Leusebottom."
"That's for me," was J.C.'s involuntary exclamation, which, however,
was lost amid the general titter which ran through the house.
In an agony of anxiety Janet strove to rectify the mistake, while
her elbow sought the ribs of her conjugal lord; but the minister
paid no heed, and when the screaming infant was given back to its
frightened father's arms it bore the name of "John Joel," and
nothing more.