Around us, adversaries are getting up to return to training.
As I stand, I angle so close to him that I could kiss his cheek if I wanted. My lips brush his ear, and I feel the way his body shivers.
“This is why you’re stuck at Novice,” I say in a low voice, and I mean every word. “You won’t take risks.”
I walk away. Although I know he is staring after me, I do not look back.
“Hey, wait up,” I call to Mis.
Shaking her head, she slows down. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you. But maybe I should warn him. You’ll eat him alive.”
Eating means a feast. Suddenly I see a possible route to my father.
“Maybe I will.” I try to smile boldly but all I can manage is a grimace.
“He is good-looking. But his grandmother will find out and put a stop to it. You’ll be lucky to keep your place in the stable. I don’t see how you dare risk it.”
The family of General Esladas can be thrown away as easily as the shards of a broken cup. My life means nothing if I do nothing. I would rather die in the mines. But I can’t say that to her. I have to distract everyone so they think I’m involved in something that has nothing to do with my father.
I say, “Kal and I knew each other before I came here.”
She whistles. “You call Lord Kalliarkos Kal? Don’t tell me you’ve already—”
The practice bell interrupts her and we hurry to take our places in line. It takes every measure of will I have to pace through a short set of menageries: cat, jackal, and crane. I slog through the training with the other fledglings. If wool stuffed my head I would think more clearly. Everything ebbs and swells in a fog around me. I can’t keep my balance on Traps, and I miss my timing on Rivers. Tana blames my lapses on a lack of fitness so she assigns me to run laps around the court while the others train. Running I can manage: all I have to do is set one foot in front of the other in time to the pulsing agony in my heart.
When the meal bell rings I veer into Trees because that’s where the Novices are climbing under the supervision of Lord Thynos and Inarsis. Everyone else is taking off except Kalliarkos and Dusty, who are coming down the center pole. Dusty hits the ground first. The moment Kalliarkos drops he turns to stare at me in a way that causes Dusty, Inarsis, and his uncle to measure me as if expecting me to sprout monstrous pincers and four more limbs.