Maybe she should consider asking for her job in San Antonio back. If Logan and Heather were to get together, Sam knew there was no way she could suffer through that day in and day out. Although Sam and Logan hadn’t known each other long, the feelings she had for him ran deep. That meant the scars would be even more jagged and painful.
Before she went in search of food, she changed out of her now wrinkled slacks and silk shirt. They’d both have to go to the dry cleaners now. Feeling minimally better in her fleece pajama shorts and tank top, she went in search of food.
Her cell phone caught her attention as she passed the bar on her way to the kitchen. She knew she should check to make sure everything was alright at work, but she didn’t have the energy to do it. Everything would be there for her in the morning.
“Ugghh!” Sam couldn’t hold back the groan as she thought about having to go into the office.
Could she take some vacation time? She’d surely accrued enough time over the years. Possibly a trip to San Antonio to see her parents.
Oh, who was she kidding? She couldn’t afford to take any time off and going to stay with her parents wouldn’t be a vacation anyway. Her mother would just smother her with affection and constantly ask her if she was ok.
Remembering she had a critical project in the works, deadlines looming in the very near future, she shrugged off the idea. No matter how hard this would be she couldn’t take any time off right now. And seeing Logan was going to be hell.
And after today, Sam might not have a job anyway. She’d let her feelings shine like a flashing beacon for the entire world to see when she ran out of the office, unable to hold back the tears.
Stumbling upon Logan’s conversation with Deanna had derailed her entire day, possibly her entire life. Oh how she wished she had gone to get coffee or something. Anything to avoid having to hear how he had gone to dinner with Heather. The wounds were still raw as Sam felt her stomach tighten into knots.
So much for dinner.
Instead, she opted for a glass of Diet Dr. Pepper and managed to drag her weary body back to her bedroom.
“That’s tomorrow. Today is today.” Sam reminded herself as she flopped backward on the bed. She glanced over at her personal laptop sitting on her nightstand and then back at the ceiling. What in the world could she do to take her mind off of Logan? At this point, she was game for almost anything.
Erotic images of the night she spent with Logan slammed against her closed eyelids. The way he kissed her, the underlying tension between them that caused the air to crackle with the energy that burned around them.
He had been good at deceiving her - that was for damn sure. The way he looked at her, the way he touched her, the way he kissed her – God how he kissed her – he always made her feel like she was his sole focus. As though she made his blood pump faster, his heart beat harder, the same way he affected her. Sam didn’t know how it could go from earth shattering lust to nothing so quickly.
She closed her eyes for a moment in an attempt to fight back the tears threatening to fall. Her heart squeezed in her chest with the loss that she felt; leaving her to wonder how the pain could be so deep that it was a physical ache. This was definitely worse than anything she had expected. The devastation she felt when she walked in on Nick felt like nothing compared to this.
“God, please just make the pain go away, please.” She whispered to herself in the quiet room.
There had to be a way to push away the pain and log only the good times in her memories to carry her forward. It wasn’t like they had even admitted they loved each other. In a week, she knew it would all be behind her, but for tonight, it was pure agony.
~*~*~
Logan entered Sam’s apartment after knocking several times without an answer. Checking the doorknob had been a last ditch attempt, surprising him when the knob turned, and the door opened. He’d seen her lock the door every time he’d been allowed in, so he was a little shocked.
The only light in the darkened apartment seemed to be coming from the bedroom. The soft sliver of yellow light cast a shadow in the short hallway, luring him in that direction. Wondering whether he should announce his presence or giving himself a chance to assess the situation, Logan opted for the latter. Making as little noise as possible so as not to startle her, he crept the short distance to her bedroom.
What he saw when he approached her doorway tore at his heart, threatening to wrench it from his chest. Sam was lying on her bed, one arm flung across her eyes, silent, devastating sobs heaving her chest. She was whispering something he could barely make out.
“Just make the pain go away, please.”
The ache in his chest felt more like a knife wound, the blade still inserted deep, being twisted back and forth.