Ava inhaled sharply and kissed my shoulder. “It’s okay. You don’t have to say anymore.”
I could have accepted that, left Ava to believe her suspicion was correct, and taken the easy way out. But that had never been my style. “Time and time again, I went round there, talked her down. She’d cry, ask why I didn’t love her. I tried talking to her mother, telling her that Sandra needed some fucking help, but she didn’t take it seriously.” In fact, her mother had insisted that I was exaggerating.
“One night, Sandra called again. Said she thought there was someone in the house; that her mother was at work, and she wanted me to come over and check.” I swallowed hard, fisting my hand in Ava’s hair. “I didn’t believe her. I found out the next day that an intruder had raped and killed her.”
Cursing under her breath, Ava curled her arm tight around my waist. “It’s a sad story, Salem. But you have to know that it’s not your fault.”
My gaze whipped to hers, filled with disbelief. “I didn’t believe her, Ava. I hung up on her. Because of that, she’s dead.”
“You don’t know that you could have stopped it, Salem.” There was an understanding in Ava’s voice that I hadn’t expected. There was also pure steel – she wasn’t budging on this. “Even if you had gone to her house, it could have been too late to help her.” Bracing her weight on her elbow, Ava propped her chin on her hand. “Did she call the police too that night?”
“Yeah. After she called me.”
“If they didn’t get there on time, why would you believe that you could have?”
I knew there was a bitter curve to my mouth. “She lived at the corner of my street. It was a long street, sure, but it still wouldn’t have taken me more than a minute to get there.” But I hadn’t bothered my ass to check. I’d dismissed Sandra’s fear and gone back to bed.
“It’s still not your fault,” Ava maintained, still as fiercely adamant as before. “The blame belongs to the killer. Any ounce of responsibility you attempt to claim for his actions absolves him a little of what he did.”
Not having thought of it that way before, it took me a minute to respond. “I still could have stopped it.”
“Or you could have been killed too. Have you thought of that?”
No, I hadn’t. And now I found myself staring curiously at Ava. The last thing I’d expected from her was this. Not only had a young girl gone through a horribly traumatic experience, she’d been murdered. That would undoubtedly sicken Ava. I could have stopped those things from happening, and I hadn’t. Yet, there was no horror or judgement on her face.
She was infuriated. Infuriated because I didn’t see things her way.
Just in case she wasn’t getting the point…“A young girl died that night. Just like my mother and stepdad did all those years later. That’s three people I didn’t protect.”
She slapped my chest. “Why do you insist on torturing yourself for things you had no control over?” Now she was seriously pissed at me. “You didn’t light that fire. You didn’t break into that girl’s house, assault and kill her. None of those people died at your hands. Shitty things happen every fucking day, and you can’t shoulder the weight of those things. You just can’t. I won’t let you.”
A touch of amusement slithered through me. “You won’t let me?”
“No. I refuse to let you torture yourself. Give yourself a fucking break.” She sighed. “No wonder you don’t connect with people. You basically withdrew from life. For you, connecting with people meant losing them. I can even understand why Gina suited you. She was never going to want you to love her, never going to claim she loved you. She was too wrapped up in herself. And you were sure you’d never come to care for someone like her, so it wouldn’t matter if you lost her. That was why you stayed with her. How cowardly of you,” she teased.
She was teasing me? This female was baffling at times. I toyed with the chocolate-brown strands dangling around her face. “You amaze me. You cling to the good, let it outweigh the bad. You accept people for who they are.” Probably because she knew what it was like to be rejected for being nothing other than herself. “And you accept me, despite everything.” She wasn’t judging me, wasn’t pulling away. I dragged her on top of me and kissed her hard. “You’re a surprise, Ava Sanchez. And you’re mine.”
“Yours.”
“There’s something you need to understand. If this had been too much for you to accept, I’d have respected that and left you alone.” Maybe. Probably not. “But you chose to stay, which means you just sealed your own fate. I won’t let you go.” It came out sounding like a warning of danger. Maybe it was.
She just smiled. “No, you won’t. And I won’t let you go either. Deal with it, big guy, because I’m here for good. And so are my cushions.”
No one else on the planet could have made me want to smile right then, but she somehow managed it. “Give me your mouth. I want you again.”
She released a long-suffering sigh. “Oh, all right.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
(Ava)
Thanks to Salem’s rigorous round of sex, which lasted a few hours, I was late for movie night. As I needed to first pick up some bottles of red wine-flavoured NSTs, Salem was just about to escort me to the store when we found Sam and Jared outside our apartment building.
She was staring at her mate, looking fierce and ready to burn shit down. “Where did he put the bastard?”
Head cocked slightly, Jared held up a finger. I realised he was conversing telepathically with someone.
Salem arched a questioning ‘Is everything okay?’ brow at Sam.
“Evan managed to track down one of the two remaining suppliers – the bloke’s alive.”
“He’s in a containment cell,” Jared told Sam.
“Then let’s get going. Sorry, Ava, but I’m giving movie night a miss. There’s no way I’ll be able to relax with the girls when I know I’m so close to getting some answers.”
I sighed. “I don’t blame you. To be honest, I’m feeling the same.”
“Fancy coming along, then?”
My smile probably took over my face. “Oh yeah. Watching you at work is better than any movie. Or are you using Ryder to get your answers?”