CHAPTER SEVEN
(Ava)
“So let me get this straight.” I placed my empty NST bottle on the counter in front of me as I leaned forward in the breakfast stool. We’d migrated into his apartment just before dawn, since he hadn’t wanted to sleep in a bed adorned with pink, glittery covers. “You not only want me to give up my apartment and move in here, but you want me to do it tonight?”
Salem didn’t even look up from his breakfast. “Yep.” To him, this was a foregone conclusion.
It truly was a shame that I couldn’t reach far enough with my legs to kick him under the counter. “No.”
That made his head snap up. “Why?”
With anyone else, it would have been easy to explain – mostly because it was totally obvious. Our relationship was a few nights old; it made sense to give it some time before taking such a big step. But Salem didn’t think like other people. He didn’t think in terms of what was normal or what was reasonable to others. He thought in terms of what he wanted and what made sense to him.
To Salem, it made absolutely perfect sense for me to move in here. It wasn’t even arrogance. It was that he genuinely didn’t see the problem. “Look, I can’t just give up my apartment.”
“Why?”
“Because we don’t know for sure that our relationship will be a permanent thing.”
“Yes, we do.” Like it would be achieved by the power of his formidable will.
“Just because you want it to be permanent doesn’t mean that it will be.”
“Yes, it does.”
I suppressed the urge to bang my head on the counter. “Life isn’t full of guarantees. There’s always a possibility that we could mess this up.”
“No, there isn’t.” He punctuated that by shoving a forkful of egg into his mouth.
This time, I didn’t suppress the urge to bang my head on the counter. In fact, I did it three times; all the while digging deep – really, really deep – for patience. I didn’t find any. “It would be stupid to rush things.”
“Rush? This thing between us started three months ago.”
“Yeah, in your head.”
His brow very slowly slid up. “Are you saying it didn’t?”
“I’m saying that you like to think I’ve been yours all this time because you’re ridiculously possessive.” I wagged a finger. “Having someone blow hot and cold with me for three months does not constitute a relationship in Ava’s world.”
“That wasn’t me blowing hot and cold. That was me fighting with myself.” He took a sip of his coffee-flavoured NST. “In any case, it doesn’t change the fact that what’s between us all began the minute you arrived on the island. This was inevitable, Ava. It was just a matter of us both accepting it.”
“I’m willing to concede that this has been building between us for a while. But I don’t see how this means we should push things. No, we should wait; get to know each other better.” And slowly get him used to my hyper ways.
“We’ve spent the past few months doing that.”
“I would have thought the last thing you wanted was to share your personal space with anyone.” The guy was just so cagey and private.
He pushed aside his empty plate. “You’re not ‘anyone’. You’re Ava. You’re mine. You belong here, with me.”
The girly part of me actually liked the caveman thing, which was severely frowned upon by the independent woman in me. “Look, we shouldn’t try to sing before we can talk, or we could fuck things up.”
“Isn’t the phrase ‘don’t try to walk before you can crawl’?”
“Not when I say it.”
The corner of his mouth kicked up into a quarter of a smile. “Why fight me on something you want as much as I do? And you do want it.”
“Because, as I’ve already explained numerous times, it’s too early in the relationship for this.” I jerked in surprise as he suddenly appeared at my side in less than the time it took to blink.
Swerving my stool to face him, he cupped my chin, pinning me with his frustrated gaze. “You’re talking like this is one of your casual flings, Ava. It’s not. It’s far from fucking casual.”
“I never said it wasn’t.”
“You gave yourself to me. What’s more serious than that?”
“I’m not saying this isn’t serious –”
“You knew how tight I’d hold you. You knew just how possessive and domineering I’d be.” Releasing my chin, he cocked his head. “How old are you, Ava? Human and vampire years in total.”
I shifted in my seat, suddenly and inexplicably feeling a little defensive. “Twenty-eight.”
“So young.” He ran the tip of his finger from my temple to my jawline. “I’ve walked this Earth for over eighty years. When you reach that age, when you have such a long history of memories, experiences, mistakes, and regrets, it’s much easier to be introspective. Much easier to know what you really want, just how important it is. And just how hard you’ll fight to keep it. We take it for granted that the people around us will always be there. That’s not how it works.”
“You lost someone very close to you.” This was the grief that Fletcher had mentioned.
“One minute someone’s there, the next minute they’re gone. Just like that.” He clicked his fingers. “You and I both have very dangerous jobs. Jobs that can take us away from each other so very, very easily.”
I understood what he was getting at. If something happened to him in the future, if I lost him, I would feel that I had wasted time with the whole ‘let’s wait a while and see how things go’. And I would hate that I’d wasted it.
Fletcher hadn’t been wrong when he said that Salem wouldn’t be an easy person to be with, that he was darkly possessive. But then, I’d already known that. Known that I’d thrown myself in the deep end with someone who would demand everything from me, who would become my second skin if I let him. It would have been scary if it wasn’t for that odd ability he had to make me feel safe.
Even now, with him looming over me, tension radiating from him, and his face a mask of frustration and torment, I felt safe. I also felt myself losing the battle to be mad at him. How could I, when there was no much pain in his eyes? I wanted it gone.