Once he was gone, Alora and Jude both rushed inside, talking at once.
“Well, well, well,” drawled Jude, closing the door.
“Now I know why you didn’t turn up at the café for lunch.” Alora grinned.
“Oh shit,” I muttered. I’d arranged to meet them at one of the cafés. The Hollow contained plenty of cafés, stores, bars, and even a nightclub and a bowling alley. It was surrounded by a tropical rainforest, and had a man-made beach in the centre for all the residents – vampires and humans – to use. Only Sam, Jared, their immediate staff, and the legion had access to the private beach behind the mansion.
“Sorry, I should have called to say I couldn’t make it. You heard about the brothel, right?” Nothing remained secret on the island for long.
Jude’s upper lip curled as all three of them settled on the sofa. “Sickening, isn’t it?”
“I went along.”
“So that’s what Salem meant.” Alora’s expression softened. “Aw, sweetie, that must have been hard. No wonder your mind was elsewhere.”
I told them about the assignment, filling in the gaps in the account they had been given.
“Why did Sam and Jared ask you to join them?” asked Jude.
“She said it would be good experience for me, and that I was in Luther’s vision so it was important that I went. It occurred to me that she might have been hoping that taking me on an assignment, showing me the good the legion do, would convince me to join. If so, it’s worked.”
Alora’s face lit up. “Yay!” With her quirky clothes, she often came across as hippy-like. It was true that the female was free-spirited, but she was also bold and daring.
Jude grinned. “I knew you’d cave eventually. But this good news is not going to distract me from asking what the hell’s going on between you and Salem.”
“Nothing is, and nothing will be.”
Alora’s mouth dropped open. “Dear God, why not? I mean, he’s scary but he’s also spectacularly hot. Just don’t tell Evan I said that.”
“He wants a serious relationship.” I repeated the things Salem had said, including the possessive words he’d spoken.
Alora actually fanned herself. “I think I’m going to swoon.” I laughed, shaking my head.
Jude leaned back, folding her arms. “Do you think by ‘hold you tight’ he meant he wants you guys to Bind?”
Huh. I hadn’t even considered that. Binding was so much more than marriage – a powerful psychic connection formed between the two vampires, joining them on a level that far surpassed anything else. “I can’t imagine Salem ever Binding with anyone.” He was just too…Salem. Serious. Curt. Emotionally introverted. Too guarded to ever give that much of himself to anyone.
“But he wants a real relationship?”
I nodded. “And I just…I can’t. I’ve told you about my unsuccessful dating life.” It had been just like my childhood – a constant cycle of people unable to accept me as I was, trying to change me. “I’ve learned my lesson.”
“You say that like it’s going to be easy for you to keep resisting him.” Alora’s perceptive eyes were sympathetic. “Ava, nothing about this is easy for you. You’ve been drawn to the scary bastard since day one.”
I’d never found him scary. “He makes me feel safe.”
Jude seemed stunned. “Well, he makes me nervous.”
Yeah, that was a typical reaction toward Salem. But I didn’t think I was weird for feeling safe with him or for finding him kind of adorable. In my opinion, these people who feared him didn’t see what I saw; didn’t see the unfailingly loyal guy who put everything he was into everything he did, who was so invested in his job because he cared about the safety of his kind. They only saw the surface – the grunting, scowling, sullen surface that watched everything with a predator’s eye.
Sure, he could be dour and growly. But just because he didn’t bother to put on a polite pretence and smile pleasantly at everyone didn’t make him a bad person. It made him someone who chose not to hide behind a front, who chose to be who he was and not let people’s judgements bother him.
He was also a person who concealed a great deal of pain and guilt, who believed he deserved to suffer. That, too, wasn’t the sign of a bad person. It was the sign of someone living in his own private, self-imposed torment who needed to damn snap out of it.
“Butch makes me nervous too,” continued Jude. “I mean, have you seen him and Salem when they go on assignments? They love what they do.” Ha! Like Jude was any more stable! She freakishly loved using that scary knife of hers to slice and dice. She was one of those people who seemed calm and polite but would soon as cut your throat than look at you. It didn’t seem to bother her boyfriend, Chico, though.
“I once heard Salem say that killing was the only thing he was good at,” said Alora. “It’s so sad that he sees that as his only talent.”
Well, he was good at it. He didn’t hesitate, didn’t give anyone an opening, didn’t balk at anything he had to do, and didn’t show an ounce of mercy. His ability to throw psychic punches suited his violent nature. But there was more to him than that, and it was definitely sad that he didn’t see it.
“What are you going to do about him?” Jude smiled weakly. “I mean, it doesn’t seem like he’s going to take no for an answer.”
“I can hardly blame him. One second I’m rejecting him, the next second I’m kissing him. Talk about mixed messages.”
Alora waved a hand. “You’re a vampire – a naturally sexual creature. It sort of makes you a sure thing.”
I snorted. “That’s the shittiest excuse I’ve ever heard. But I’ll take it.”
“Let’s look at the situation outside the box.” Alora crossed her legs. “Now that you’ve decided to stay here, it means you’re going to live on an island where no guy is going to risk touching you, which means unless you want to start batting for the other team, your sex life is going to suffer. But here’s this guy – hot, intense, and willing to be totally committed to you – who can give you what you want when you want it.
“Obviously it’s worth noting that you find relationships tricky and uncomfortable. Based on your experiences with dickheads, you’re sure that Salem will try to mould you into someone you’re not. But is that fair to him? Maybe you should give him more credit than that.”