Shaking my head to rid any thoughts of love, I choose to focus on lust instead. My body begins to tremble slightly and I have an ache that seems to radiate from everywhere. I want this man to touch me. I need him to touch me. Honestly, I want more—a lot more. I’m fairly certain he wants that too. All I have to do is finish my interview first so we can move on to what I’ve wanted to do since I first saw him.
River pauses at the door while he takes the key that’s already in his hand and slides it into the key slot, pushing the door open. He drops his hand and puts it on the small of my back as he guides me into the suite. Walking in, I mentally take back my thoughts that he’s almost famous. This suite is definitely for famous people. It has floor-to-ceiling windows along the entire back wall. The living room is decorated similar to the hallway with soft color tones and contains a fireplace. The dining room houses a light beech wood table for twelve, and the kitchen is equipped with white marble countertops, built in coffee maker, and even a gas stove. The hardwood and marble flooring is like nothing I’ve seen in a hotel suite before. There is even a small swimming pool with a hot tub on the balcony overlooking the strip. The suite feels bigger than my house.
Setting his guitar down in the corner, he leaves his hand on my back while guiding me toward the window. He stands still for a moment, and I wonder what he is thinking. He slides his tongue over his bottom lip in an insanely hot manner. We’re so close that I can feel his warm breath on the nape of my neck. I admire his gorgeous face and smooth skin. I can almost touch his fully defined abdominal muscles through his t-shirt. He is so unbelievably good looking. I feel my heart quicken and if he gets any closer, I might just free-fall out the window, but I continue to look at him. His facial features are so alluring: he has a strong jaw, a sculpted nose, an extremely toned body, and his personality is extremely captivating.
“There isn’t another view in Las Vegas like the one from this window at night,” he says while unlocking the sliding glass doors and opening them. “I hope you plan to stick around to see the city light up.” Not waiting for an answer, he brushes by me to walk toward the kitchen, but not before dragging his fingers across the span of my back. His slight touch sends tingles all the way up to my neck.
On his way into the kitchen, he texts something on his phone, but I don’t ask what.
Watching River walk that walk to the kitchen, I can only smile. “Is that an invitation? Because I didn’t think I needed one,” I tease, now laughing out loud and grinning widely.
“You don’t,” he says as he turns back to catch me staring at his backside. He winks at me, and then grins so wide his dimples are almost pulsing.
River plugs his phone into an iPod dock on the counter and U2’s Beautiful Day surrounds us as he glances at me from under his brows, a small grin curving from his lips, and he hums along to the song. What is he doing?
Opening the refrigerator, River pulls out two bottles of beer. He lifts one up and asks, “Is this okay? I’m not really a good bartender, but I can try to whip up something if you want.”
I nod my head, my ever-present smile still in place. “It’s perfect. Can I get a glass of ice please?”
“Hmmm . . .” I hear River say, still grinning at me and shaking his head.
He starts opening and closing a few cupboards until he finds the glasses. He pulls down two and places them on the counter. After filling one with ice from the dispenser on the refrigerator door and pouring the beer into the glasses, he walks toward the large L shaped sofa and motions for me to come over and have a seat.
As I walk toward him, I can’t help but notice how hot he looks. He’s like a magnet, and I’m a piece of metal being pulled to him without control. When I’m close enough to see into his eyes, the ones I have looked into one too many times, this time I’m thinking I hope they don’t let me out.
Raising an eyebrow, he says, “What are you smiling about?”
“Nothing. Everything. I don’t know,” I say, shrugging my shoulders and trying to resist the pull.
“Hmmm . . .” I hear again as he walks even closer to me. He motions with one hand for me to sit. I do as he suggests, and he hands me my drink and says, “That’s not very definitive.”
“It wasn’t meant to be.”
I’m a little distracted by his messy but perfect hair and overall good looks. I want to ask him if he has any idea how attractive he is. What’s wrong with me? I’m giddy like a teenager for Christ sakes!
Taking a large sip of my drink to cool down my overheated body, I immediately feel it; a brain-freeze. I squint my eyes trying to stop it, to will it away.
“Much colder with ic . . .” I hear him start to say, but the end of his sentence trails off.
I look up as he sets his glass on the table. He must have noticed my brain-freeze face because he says, “Close your eyes.”
I look at him quizzically while squinting.
His close proximity makes me feel even more off as he says, “Brain-freeze, right?”
I nod my head yes and close my eyes.
Placing his fingers on each side of my temples, River firmly presses while massaging circles at the same time. The goosebumps rear their heads and my temples are on fire, forget the freeze.
I once again feel his nose in the crook of my neck, but this time on his way up to my ear he allows his lips to skim the most sensitive flesh of my neck. When he reaches my ear he whispers, “Better?”
Nodding my head slowly, I open my eyes, very aware of how close we are. My breathing starts to increase again. Does he realize what that little move does to me? I really just want to grab him, but I restrain myself, remembering dinner and the interview. Yes . . . dinner and interview.Pulling back to a safe distance, River once again masters changing gears as his conversation leads us back to normalcy. He questions me about where I grew up, what I was like in high school, where I went to college, and my life in general.
My mind drifts back to Ben time and time again. I’m finding it difficult to not mention him, but his spirit occupies my every memory. I’m talking to River, but Ben is in my head. I start to wonder what the hell I’m doing.
A knock at his door distracts me from my thoughts of Ben, for now.
“That must be the food,” River says as he walks over to answer the door. A waiter wheels in a table full of plates covered with silver domes. After River hands him a tip, I shoot him a questioning look.
“Yeessss,” he says as he removes the domes to reveal an array of nibble-sized bites.
“When did you order food?” I say, squinting my eyes and pouting my lips.
“Texted down to the kitchen,” he says, making a slight groaning noise, and with his eyelids half closing he adds, “That look is hot.” I knew he’d say that.
All I can do is shake my head at him because what I really want to do is lie him down on the couch. What’s his game? He’s driving me to the edge and there is no way he isn’t there too. He was almost panting after his last move.
Pushing aside my need for a man’s human touch—his touch—we talk for almost another hour while we continue to drink and eat.
When we have both finished our second beer, mine with ice, his without, River stands up. “Feel free to make yourself at home while I take a quick shower.”
I’m watching River leave the room, admiring that walk that I can’t get enough of and the way his hair somewhat sticks out in the back, when he turns around and winks at me. Having caught me staring he mumbles something I can’t really hear, but sounds strangely like, you could join me if you want.
Disappearing into what I can only assume is the bedroom, I consider joining him. I really want to, but I’m here for work. Damn, I really need to get my shit together and get that interview done.
I make my way over to the window and I step outside. Horns are blowing, lights are flashing, and people are everywhere. As I stand up here looking down at all the chaos, I feel the disarray is a welcome relief to the life I have been living. I want so badly to just feel alive again. But everything still reminds me of Ben. Even here, now, with this incredibly hot, yet adorably charming man, my mind still wanders back to Ben and our trip to Las Vegas right after I finished graduate school.
Remembering when a group of our friends planned a couples weekend, I smirk even now at the word ‘couples’. It was more like a guy’s weekend and a girl’s weekend combined only for the sake of each couple sharing a hotel room. As soon as we arrived, the group of guys hit the casino and I never saw Ben again until he came stumbling into our room around four in the morning, drunk and not ready for sleep. The next day, we spent the morning together in our room and then he met the guys in the afternoon, this time I didn’t see him again until he stumbled into our room just in time to catch a cab back to the airport. That was the way we were, and honestly, I had a great time with my girlfriends that weekend. We played blackjack, did some shopping, ate fabulous food, and went clubbing at night. I had a blast.
Suddenly arms surround me as River braces his hands on the railing on both sides of me, suspending my memories of Ben. River has his front to my back, and I want to lean into him, just feel him, the entire length of his hard body against mine, but I don’t. I inhale his now familiar scent and close my eyes. Every nerve in my body is electrified with need. Two years of neglect has my body screaming for this man to touch me.
“Should we catch the sunset before we head out?” River says, standing so close, yet way too far away.
“I would love that. The sky is so clear, the sunset is going to be gorgeous,” I say, not turning around, and not moving a muscle because the pull of my body to his is so strong right now, I can barely restrain myself.
“Yeah it is.”
I can tell by the way his warm breath is hitting my ear that he’s not looking at the sun, and that thrills me. Being surrounded by River and watching the sunset feels so right that I try to rid my mind of any thoughts of Ben so that I can focus solely on River. However, focusing on anything right now is hard to do. His close proximity to me has brought me back to the edge, and free falling with him once again occupies my mind.
After we watch the sunset, River moves back, leaving one hand on the rail next to me. “Ready?”
“Yes,” I say, glancing up and noticing how his strong arm leads the way to his gorgeous face.
When I turn completely around, I see him for the first time since emerging from the bedroom. I notice he’s wearing black denim frayed jeans with a gray button-down shirt that shows hints of his very defined muscles, a belt, and his black work boots. I notice that he is about the same build as Ben, maybe just slightly taller.
River grins as he detects my stare. “Do you see something you like?”
Before I can respond, I stumble slightly, having started to walk toward the living room and River’s nose is at my neck, but this time only because that is where I landed.
River doesn’t waiver as he uses the opportunity to glide his nose to my ear and whisper, “Hey gorgeous, you okay?” I feel his nose at my ear; I feel his breath, feel his lips slightly grazing my neck. But unlike the last time, he doesn’t pull back immediately and the electric pull takes over.
Responding in a very raspy tone, I start, “Absolutely, I’m . . .”
River doesn’t let me finish my sentence as he gently pushes me back against the rail. His arms are extended on either side of me, he’s surrounding me, caging me in, but once again, I don’t feel trapped. He never moves his lips away from my neck as he repositions us. My breath is hitched and my heartbeat has doubled as I tilt my head back to allow him full access to my neck. He’s softly running a trail of kisses from my neck up to my mouth, slowly, lightly licking, softly sucking, until his lips finally meet mine.
Parting my lips, I think I hear a groan from the back of his throat, and I know I hear a small moan of my own as his mouth presses against mine. I’m frozen, unable to move, not even able to lace my arms around him because I’m wrapped up in a different emotion. It’s happiness growing, overshadowing the sorrow. I feel all of my darkest days slipping away, right here, right now, with him—and I’m paralyzed.