I pass over the usual and unnecessary details. There was a show of
inquiry of course; but the one word of the learned young gentleman
in black silenced any further examination. It was shown to the
mquest by Mrs. Porterfield that my wife had been sick--that she
was suddenly found dead. The physician furnished the next necessary
fact. I was not examined at all, I stood by in silence. I heard the
verdict--"Death by apoplexy"---with a smile. I was not unwilling
to state the truth. Had I been called upon I should have done so.
At first I was about to proffer my testimony, but a single sentence
from the lips of Kingsley, when I declared to him my purpose,
silenced me:-"If you are not afraid to declare your own act, you should at least
scruple to denounce her shame! She died your wife. Let, that seal
your tongue. The shame would be shared between you! Yov could only
justify your crime by exposing hers!"
With the stern strength of desperation I stood above the grave,
and heard the heavy clod ring hollowly upon the coffin. And there
closed two lives in one. My hopes were buried there as effectually
as her unconscious form.
Life is not breath simply. Not the capacity to move, and breathe,
to act, eat, drink, sleep, and say, "Thank God! we have ate, drank,
and slept!" The life of humanity consists in hope, love, and labor.
In the capacity to desire, to affect, ant to struggle. I had now
nothing for which I could hope, nothing to love, nothing to struggle
for!
Yes! life has something more:--endurance! This is a part of the
allotment. The conviction of this renewed my strength But it was
the strength of desolation I I had taken courage from despair!