With these revived suspicions, half stifled, but still struggling
in my bosom, did I commence my journey for the West. My arrangements
were comprehensive, but simple. I had procured a second-hand
travelling carriage and fine pair of horses from an acquaintance,
at a very moderate price--a price which, I well knew, I should easily
get for them again on reaching my place of destination. I was my
own driver. I had no money to spare in purchasing what might be
dispensed with. A single trunk contained all the necessary luggage
of my wife and self. What was not absolutely needed by the wayside
was sent on by water. This included my books, desks, Julia's painting
materials, and such other articles of the household, as were of
cost and not bulky. I had previously written--as I may have stated
already--to my friend Kingsley. He was to procure me temporary
lodgings in the town of M---. I left much to his judgment and
experience.
He had once before been in Alabama and having interests
there, had made himself familiar with everything in that region,
necessary to be known. I put myself very much in his hands. I
was too anxious to get away to urge any difficulties or make any
troublesome requisitions. He was simply to procure me an abiding-place
in some private family--if possible in the suburbs--until I should
be able to look about me. Economy was insisted upon. I had precious
little money to spare, and even the spoils of my one night's visit
to the gaming-house, were of no small help in sustaining me in
my determination to remove. I had not applied them previously.
I confess to a feeling of shame when I was compelled by necessity
at last to use them. I had saved something already from my professional
income, and I procured an advance on my furniture which was left for
sale. I had calculated my expenses in removing and for one year's
residence in M--, and was prepared, so far as poor human foresight
may prepare itself, to keep want from our doors at least for
that period.
I trusted to good fortune, my own resources, and the
notorious fact that, at that day, there were few able lawyers in
M--, to secure me an early and valuable practice. I carried with
me letters from the best men in the community I had left. But I
carried with me what was of more value than any letters, even though
they be written in gold. I carried with me methodical habits and
an energy of character which would maintain my resolution, and
bear me through, to a safe conclusion, in any plan which I should
contemplate. Industry and perseverance are the giants that cast
down forests, drain swamps, level mountains, and create empires. I
flattered myself that with these I had other and crowning qualities
of intellect and culture. Perhaps it may be admitted that I had.
But of what avail were all when coupled with the blind heart?
Enough--I must not anticipate.