Thus she raved. My conscience applied these stinging words of scorn,
which seemed particularly fitted to the mean suspicious watch which
I had kept upon her. I could have no thought that they were meant
for any other ears than my own, and the crimson flush upon my
cheeks was the involuntary acknowledgment which my soul made of the
demerits of my unmanly conduct. I fancied that Julia had detected
my espionage, and that her language had this object in reference
only. But there were other words; and, passing with unexpected
transition from the language of dislike and scorn, she now
indulged in that of love--language timidly suggestive of love, as
if its utterance were restrained by bashfulness, as if it dreaded
to be heard. Then a deep sigh followed, as if from the bottom of
her heart, succeeded by convulsive sobs, at last ending in a gushing
flood of tears.
For the space of half an hour I had been an attentive but suffering
listener to this wild raving. My pangs followed every sentence
from her lips, believing, as I did, that they were reproachful
of myself, and associated with a now unrestrained expression of
passion for another. Gradually I had ceased, in the deep interest
which I felt, to be conscious that Mrs. Delaney was present. I
leaned across the couch; I bent my ear down toward the lips of the
speaker, eager to drink up every feeble sound which might help to
elucidate my doubts, and subdue or confirm my suspicions. Then,
as the accumulating conviction formed itself, embodied and sharp,
like a knife, into my soul, I groaned aloud, and my teeth were
gnashed together in the bitterness of my emotion! In that moment I
caught the keen gray eyes of my mother-in-law fixed upon me, with
a jibing expression, which spoke volumes of mockery. They seemed
to say, "Ah! you have it now! The truth is forced upon you at last!
You can parry it no longer. I see the iron in your soul. I behold
and enjoy your contortions!"
Fiend language! She was something of a fiend! I started from the
bedside, and just then a flood of tears came to the relief of my
wife, and lessened the excitement of her brain. The tears relieved
her. The paroxysm passed away. She turned her eyes upon me, and
closed them involuntarily, while a deep crimson tint passed over
her cheek, a blush, which seemed to me to confirm substantially
the tenor of that language in which, while delirious, she had
so constantly indulged. It did not lessen the seeming shame and
dislike which her countenance appeared at once to embody, that
a soft sweet smile was upon her lips at the same moment, and she
extended to me her hand with an air of confidence which staggered
and surprised me.