He still wanted Noah Jameson, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to keep fighting it.
CHAPTER TEN
Noah sat up in his bed, wishing like hell he could sleep. He rubbed a hand over his bare chest, and closed his eyes, but he knew sleep wouldn’t come. He hated it when he got like this. When he was younger, he had a lot of trouble sleeping. His parents often fought at night, or sometimes that’s when they would leave.
It’s easier to drive at night, his parents would say. Less traffic.
He didn’t wake up with nightmares like Coop used to, but he still felt haunted by the dark sometimes. It’s when they’d left Blackcreek the first time. He’d run over to Cooper’s house in the middle of the night, banging on the door, before being dragged away.
“Fuck.” He dropped his head against the headboard. He didn’t need to think about that night, right now.
“Don’t make me go alone!” Cooper’s voice broke through the night. Before thoughts had the chance to form in Noah’s head, he was out of the bed and running toward his friend’s room. His heart jackhammered as he heard, “Please! I don’t wanna go alone!” in Cooper’s broken voice.
Christ, those nightmares. They’d been brutal when Coop was a kid.
Noah didn’t pause at the closed door. He pushed right into the room, and headed straight for Coop’s bed.
“No! No!” His rough voice broke through the night.
Noah grabbed his shoulder, slightly shaking him. “Wake up, man. It’s a dream. Wake up.”
Cooper’s blinds were open, the moon shedding enough light into the room, that Noah saw his friend’s wide eyes jerk open.
“You were dreaming,” he told him, as though it wasn’t obvious.
“The fire… Shit man, the fire. I…I still see them.” Cooper had been through a lot in his life. He overcame it all with strength and determination. He didn’t let his past hold him back. Noah always wished he was more like that. Cooper plowed into any situation, running never an option, because of that night. Now, his voice sounded so alone and so broken.
“You’re good. We’re okay. It’s over.” Noah wanted to snatch back the words. How fucking ridiculous could he sound? We’re okay? This had nothing to do with him. These were Cooper’s demons.
“They made me go alone, Noah. They left me all alone. I didn’t want to go by myself. I’m so tired of being alone.”
Noah squeezed his shoulder, not sure what else to do. This wasn’t usually how it went. Yeah, Coop had nightmares, and Noah had woken him up and talked him through them before, but he’d never sounded so lost. That was usually reserved for Noah himself.
“You’re not alone, man. You know that. Everyone loves Cooper Bradshaw.” He hoped the playfulness in his voice helped.
Noah noticed the feel of Cooper’s muscled shoulder beneath his hand. The stretch of his warm, taut skin. Fuck, I’m such a prick. He had no business thinking about that, at a time like this.
Noah started to move his hand away, but Cooper grabbed it. “No…don’t. Wanna feel you.”
The moan was impossible to hold back. How bad had he wanted to hear words like that from Cooper? But not like this. Not when his friend was so raw. “Don’t do this, Coop. Not tonight. You’re emotional, and not thinking straight.”
Cooper’s hand tightened on Noah’s wrist. “No shit I’m emotional, and I haven’t been thinking straight for a while, and you know it.”
If this were any other situation, Noah would have laughed at that. Leave it to Coop to play on the word, straight. But, it wasn’t any other situation, and as much as he wanted to crawl into bed with his friend and touch him everywhere, he couldn’t.
He looked down at Coop, the moonlight on his muscled chest. His body chiseled, and defined. Rough, yet smooth, with a light dusting of hair. It made it even sexier that it was Cooper. “If I touch you anymore tonight, I’m not going to want to stop. I won’t do something you’ll hate me for.”
“I told you I could never hate you. I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want to close my eyes and see them. You always chase my demons away. I need you tonight, Noah. Just sit with me. Touch me. Ground me.”
A primal desire to do just that, reared to life in Noah, stronger and fiercer than anything he’d ever felt before. He wanted to do all those things Cooper said. He wanted to own him, to take care of him in a way he’d never done with another person.
There wasn’t a chance he could walk away right now. Not after what Coop just said to him. His friend never admitted to needing much of anything, yet everything in what he said screamed he needed Noah right now. People failed Noah enough, that he wouldn’t do the same to someone else.