Holiday raised a brow. "And you think she'd admit it if she was?"
"No, but she didn't out and out deny it as if it was a lie. She matter-of-factly told me that she wanted me to send someone else to hell. And I think the whole head thing was because I started ignoring her. She just wanted to get my attention."
"And I bet it worked," Holiday said.
"Pretty much," Kylie said. "Kinda hard not to pay attention to that." She shivered, remembering the image of the head.
"I still think sending this one packing might be a good thing."
"I know, and last night I was even thinking it was a good thing to do, but there's one thing that makes me question doing that."
"What?" Holiday asked, and brought one of her legs up on the bed.
Kylie sighed. She hadn't really been too concerned about this earlier, but right now it seemed like something she should consider. "She says that if I don't do it, if I don't kill this person, that I'm the one who's going to die."
Holiday's brow tightened. "Okay, that does kind of put a new slant on things. Do you get the feeling she's trying to protect you, or just cause harm to someone else?"
Kylie considered the question. "I think she's doing both. I don't know why she would want to protect me. But then again, last night when Derek and I were leaving the compound, she's the one who told me to go to the graveyard. I think she was helping me."
Holiday frowned. "Okay, keep her around for now. But for God sakes, be careful. You've already got someone from this world trying to hurt you, you don't need someone from the afterlife trying to do you harm, too. You are too special for anyone to want to hurt you."
Holiday's words repeated in Kylie's head and she had a flash of someone else saying words so similar. Someone with green eyes and golden flecks, and warm ... lips. Suddenly, she recalled part of the dreamscape, an important part of it. The part where Derek kissed her.
"Oh, crap!" she muttered, and dropped her head into her hands. "What have I done?"
"What?" Holiday asked.
Kylie looked up at her. "In the dreamscapes, the person who initiates the dream is in control, but the person who is brought into it, she can stop things from happening, right?"
"Right. As long as she feels strongly about it not happening."
"Shit," she muttered again, because she recalled feeling confused about what she did and didn't want.
Confused about what was right and what was wrong. And if she was confused in the dream, then she might have let things happen that shouldn't have happened.
"Oh, damn," she said, and tried to remember the rest of the dream. Then she looked back up at Holiday."Shouldn't I be able to remember everything?"
"Yes, except..." She made a face as if she didn't think Kylie would want to hear the rest. "Except when you're really exhausted."
"Which I was. Just freaking great," Kylie mumbled.
"Calm down. After you have something to eat and relax you'll probably recall everything."
"I don't know if I want to remember," she muttered. "Oh, hell, yes I do."
Holiday frowned. "Do you want me to talk to Derek about this?"
Kylie's brow wrinkled. "I didn't say it was Derek."
Holiday gave her a don't-be-silly look. "You two and I are the only ones who can initiate a dreamscape here. It had to be him."
Kylie bit down on her lip again. "Okay, it was him, but no, I don't want you to talk to him. I should handle this myself." She let go of a deep puff of air. "He thinks I'm still in love with him."
"And you're not?" Holiday asked.
"No," Kylie said. And she meant it. She did. Yes, she really did. So why did she sound like she was trying to convince herself of that? "I don't want to talk about Derek."
Holiday studied her. "Do you want to talk about Lucas?"
"No," Kylie said.
"Okay, but if you need to talk about him or anything, I'm here for you."
"I know." Then, just to make a liar out of herself, the words slipped from her lips. "I realized I loved him right before all that happened." Her heart felt like it folded over on itself. "I was going to tell him the next time I saw him. Then, the next time I saw him he was promising his soul to Monique."
Holiday pursed her lips as if hesitant to say what was on her mind. "I don't think he meant it."
"I don't care if he meant it; he shouldn't have done it."
"That's true. And I won't tell you what to do, but I do believe he's telling the truth about his intentions.
And I'm just saying that if you still care about him, I don't think he's a bad guy."
Kylie drew in a deep breath. "I asked my mom once if she still loved my dad. She told me she didn't know. That maybe once she got over being mad at him, she'd have to see how she felt. Maybe that's what will happen with me and Lucas. But for right now, it's royally pissing me off that everyone is telling me what a good guy he is. It makes me feel like I'm the one who did something wrong." Tears tightened her throat, but she swallowed them and stiffened her spine.
"I'm sorry." Holiday held up one hand. "And you know you didn't do anything wrong. And I'll not say another word."
"Thank you."
Her gut suddenly let out a loud growl letting her know it was as unhappy as she was ... and empty. She gazed back up at Holiday. "I need to eat something. I think my stomach is gnawing on my backbone right now."
"Here." Holiday reached over to the nightstand and handed her a paper bag. "I brought it to you earlier, thinking you'd need some food."
Kylie pulled out the plastic baggie and saw half a sandwich with a bite out of it.
"Sorry, I got hungry while I was waiting on you to wake up."
When Kylie unwrapped the sandwich and took a bite, Holiday reached back into the bag and pulled outa bag of opened chips. "I'm still hungry." She smiled apologetically and popped a chip into her mouth.
As Kylie ate the sandwich and watched Holiday eat the chips, the weight of the world sitting on her chest felt as if it lifted. Not all the way, but enough to give her a reprieve. She still had tons of issues to work through. But being back at Shadow Falls-this was right. And being here with Holiday helped make it so.
Kylie finished off the last bite of sandwich and reached into the chip bag Holiday held. Her fingers found the bottom of the bag.
Holiday made a funny face. "Sorry, I don't know what's up with me. My appetite has gone haywire."