Neil loved me.
“Neil…I—I’ve loved you since I can remember. There was never a time when I didn’t.” I looked to the side and gathered more courage to say the rest. “But then, there was never a time when I thought you’d ever feel the same about me either.”
“Look at me, Cherry.” He took my chin and tugged me back to him. “You silly, beautiful, sexy, gorgeous, amazing girl, were once again, so very, very wrong about me and what I was feeling for you all these years. How could I not love you? You’re perfect, remember? Utterly perfect. I just had to wait for the right time to tell you is all.”
I listened to every word he said as he smoothed over my hair.
“Every time I was home, you’d have someone new and it wasn’t fair for me to try to steer you away from them and into my arms.”
I started crying again but this time it was mostly in happiness. “I wish you would’ve.”
“No.” He shook his head once. “No, I had to wait.”
He took my face in his hands and brushed along the tears wetting my cheeks with his thumbs. “You’re so beautiful to me, Cherry, even when you cry.”
And then he kissed me like he had the right to. The way I’d always wished he might. Neil kissed away my tears and wiped out all of the longing I’d known for ages, all in an instant. I melted into his big body and savored his touch. His lips. His words. I had everything I’d ever wanted from him now.
“You were my Cherry Girl when you were little.”
“I was.” I nodded into his hands.
“And you’re my Cherry Girl now.”
“Yes,” I managed another nod and just that one word.
“I love you, Elaina Morrison, and you’ll always be my Cherry Girl. Always. Nothing will change it for me.” He leaned forward and kissed me sweetly, whispering, “Believe me.”
I couldn’t speak. My ability to voice words had completely left me. I was so overwhelmed. All I could do was stare back. And breathe.
Neil tilted his head at me. “You look like maybe you don’t.”
“I do but I—I have to take a shower now,” I blurted. “And use your toothbrush, and get something to wear. I puked with this mouth tonight. Twice. And I’ve got no clothes on.”
He broke into a smile at my announcement, and didn’t even flinch at my puke comment. He must really and truly love me.
“Please say I get to help you with all of that.”
“The teeth brushing, maybe—the shower, no,” I fired back, suddenly feeling shy about the direction this conversation was heading and my state of undress. In the sanctuary of my mind I could be bold about wanting to be with Neil, but it was too soon to just slide between the sheets together and start shagging. I needed to come out of my shock first before we got down to the sex part. What if he wants it tonight? How would he take the news when I told him I needed a little time to get to that point?
Turned out I had nothing to worry about because Neil was the perfect gentleman with me, as always.
“I know that, beautiful girl,” he said, with a peck to my nose, “but you’re staying here tonight, yes?” He swept his eyes over me again before landing on my face. The look he gave me was almost a look of pleading. I could see how much he wanted me to stay, just as much as I wanted to pledge myself to him.
“Yes.” I nodded slowly. “I’m staying here tonight.” I planted both hands on top of the sheets, one on each side of my hips, showing him I really meant it. “I want to be here with you.”
“Good. That’s all I need right now. I just want to hold you and know you’re here, safe with me and that this—with you…is real.” He brushed over my hair with his hand again. “I’m afraid I’ll wake up and you’ll be gone. I need to get used to the idea of having you all to myself.”
Yes please!
The burgeoning shyness grew stronger until I had to look away. My eyes landing on the thin sheet barely covering my body didn’t help me to feel extra confident either. I needed to establish some truths first.
“Okay…” God, I sounded like such a trembling idiot. “This…with us…it is real, right?” My insecurity rang out clearly in the tone of my voice. I breathed heavier as my heart pounded, waiting for him to answer.
“Yes, Cherry, it’s real.” He tugged on my chin with his index finger to get me to look up.
I could see the earnestness in his eyes, and in the way he studied me with his dark browns when I finally looked at him.
“Completely real.” He took one of my hands and placed the palm over his heart. “Feel that while I kiss you,” he said, before sliding behind my neck with his other hand and pulling me onto those soft magical lips of his, “and you’ll know it’s very real.”
But this time, Neil was trying to make a point, and his kiss was more demanding as he tangled tongues with me. He plundered my mouth and I allowed him access. And I did feel his heartbeat under my hand.
I tried to memorize this moment because I couldn’t bear the thought of forgetting how I felt with him at that moment.
When Neil finally broke away from our kiss he still held the back of my neck firmly in his hand, taking control of our moment together, and I loved it. He made me feel cherished and I wanted to float in the feelings for forever.
“Cherry, I love you. And I just need you to be here with me. That’s all I want. I won’t ask you for more than that until it’s right, and we both want it. We’ll know when that time comes. And everything else will get itself worked out when we’re ready. Okay?” Another slow and thorough trace of his tongue in my mouth had my stomach fluttering and my heart racing.
I managed to nod back and whisper, “Yes.” I brought my hands up to hold both sides of his face. “I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember.”
Then, Neil smiled at me. His entire beautiful face lighting up from his eyes to his chin. My guy looked really happy. My guy. I have a guy. Neil. Neil McManus is my man now.
Christmas and my birthday had come to me early this year, and both at the same time apparently.
Then I watched him get up from the bed and head into his bathroom. I heard the shower turn on and then the opening and closing of cupboards. He returned a few moments later with a big towel to wrap around me, and said he’d left me a shirt and some shorts I could wear after my shower if I liked. He told me he would be in the kitchen setting up the coffeemaker for the morning, and then he left the bedroom and closed the door.