I knew I was where she and Callum were concerned. As for my own problems, though, I wasn’t even sure how to handle them.
Maybe brushing it to the side and never mentioning it to anyone. Maybe, just maybe it would go away like it never happened. I mean, if it were true, Blake surely would’ve said something to me.
Yeah, there was nothing to worry about until Blake himself confirmed it to me. Therefore, before that ever happened, the best thing to do was surely pretend that our marriage life was great. Apart from William’s health problems, Blake and I were stronger than ever.
The Great Pretender
Sienna
“Blake?” I rushed out the moment he took the call. “You there?”
After a long pause, there was a soft grumbling sound before I heard his voice. “I’m here.” That was all he said, not providing me anything else to work around his mercurial mood at the moment.
Why wasn’t he being forthcoming?
“How’s William? Is he up? I could come over. Let me just change, and I’ll be on my way. Do you want me to get you something to eat on the way?”
“It’s fine. Actually, there’s no need for you to come because I’ll be heading home soon. We’ll speak then.” He sounded exhausted.
Not wanting to press about the issue, I merely nodded before saying, “Okay, I’ll stay and wait for you then.”
We said our goodbyes after a second, but even after we hung up, I felt the dread sink into me, hoping that what he meant with we’ll speak then was about his father and not the other problem I’d been meaning to hide from.
He didn’t come home until two hours later, and in that space of time, I had managed to rearrange my closet just to pass the time because I was so strung up with tension. If I pondered for another second what would come out of Blake’s mouth the second he came home, it would drive me mentally ill.
I actually didn’t hear him arrive until he knocked on the wood side panel of my walk-in closet, making me jump out of my skin and my heart catch in my throat. Never in my life had I been this nervous.
This territory was new to me—not knowing how he’d take anything, from his grandfather’s sickness to the rumor turning out being more real than I hoped. The unknown was terrifying.
It felt like we were at the tipping point where my life would either sink or swim. I could lose everything; all the hard work we invested on each other, our marriage. If I lost him, where would I go? What would I do?
“You seem to have a lot of energy today,” he observed, eyes wandering around my closet before he finally landed those powerful eyes on me, unreadable.
“I needed to distract myself.” I looked at my great progress yet didn’t feel any relief. “How’s William, Blake?”
“He woke up today, and the doctor said that he needs to cut down on cigars and drinking. Overall, his condition is progressing well. Quite well, so much so that one could hope.”
A huge smile pasted on my lips before I almost ran to him and flung my arms around his waist. Happiness escaped me as I looked up at him and gave him a peck on the lips. “This is truly a blessing,” I murmured. “Everything’s going to be okay.”
His arms enveloped me for the first time after all this worry, and the very feel of him responding to my touch was exhilarating. God, I loved this man too much. I lived for him. I breathed for him.
“This might be such a wrong timing to even mention, but Stella’s pregnant and she wants us to go over and have dinner with them tomorrow evening before she breaks the news to Callum. Isn’t that amazing?” I looked up to him, hoping he’d agree because I had already given my word we would.
My smiling face went on a dour note when I got the sinking feeling he was about to decline the invitation.
“This has been too much to take in. I know you adore Stella and Callum, and I do, too, but I cannot be bothered with being around people. I just can’t be bothered, cara.” He seemed to have meant it. “You’re more than welcome to go tomorrow, if you like, but I can’t. I have so much on my plate. Besides, I haven’t rested yet. I’m beyond knackered.”
What was I thinking? Of course he’d decline. His granddad had almost died, and here I was, wondering if he’d go to a dinner party because my friend was expecting her first child. I was being inconsiderate and quite selfish to even bring it up to him.
“I’m sorry. That was very selfish of me to even ask of you. I’ll tell Stella that we can’t make it, but we’re over the moon about her pregnancy. I’m sure she’ll understand.” Stella Kensington would get it more than most women. She’d probably even send something to William just because. She was simply like that; born and bred with excruciating etiquette, even if she wasn’t feeling great.
“Thank you, poppet,” he whispered before kissing my forehead.
I sighed deeply before resting my cheek on his chest, breathing him in. “We’re going to be okay.” The words comforted the troubles in my heart. Granted, I wasn’t sure if he knew anything about that pesky rumor, but why rock the boat when things were starting to brighten up again?
Seeking his eyes, he gazed down on me with a certain look that used to make my stomach churn and heave, but at this instant, it simply gave me breathlessness.
“Sienna?” he murmured just as my heart stopped beating.
“Yeah?”
He didn’t blink before he opened his mouth to say, “We have to talk about something quite important.”
I wanted to bite my tongue so we didn’t have to talk about it. Whatever it was, I knew it might be something I wouldn’t like. He always gave off this vibe about him when he was going to give me bad news. But as much as I wanted to stay in the dark and postpone the inevitable, I knew in my heart that this moment was as good as any. At least, if we had it out in the open, we’d deal with it like all married couples do. I truly hoped we’d deal with whatever this was together.
“I love you more than words could express, more than anything I had ever imagined. I love you, Sienna. I just want you to know that.”
Jesus, where was he going with this? I swallowed, my throat nearly parched, while I nodded in earnest, hoping he’d continue his speech before I passed out of agitation.
With each passing second, I felt my surroundings closing in. However, I wouldn’t let my childhood coping mechanism take over because this was different. This time, the man that might irrevocably cause my pain was my husband. My family. My home.