"Really. I thought she was blonde?"
"I think she dyed her hair."
"He touched so many wives, ah, lives," the minister flashed a toothy grin from behind the pulpit. He spread his joy selflessly. Never finding the need to boast of his good fortune, he shared it with generous deeds, quietly going about helping those in need, always putting those knees, needs, in front of his. The world will be an emptier place with the passing of brother Stanley." After blessing my grandfather's urn the minister called on me to receive his remains.
***
"I love the sky; I refuse to be buried." Grandfather announced at breakfast one morning.
"Daddy, what are you talking about?"
"You know damn well."
"Do you have to bring it up now? Just once, I would like to eat in peace."
"James, listen to me. When I kick the bucket, don't let anyone put me in a box and throw me in a hole."
"Keep James out of this!"
Grandfather set his utensils on the table. "He's the only one with enough guts to do what I want."
"That isn't fair daddy," mother protested. "He's only a child. He shouldn't have to hear this."
"Life isn't fair. And he is old enough. Give him the credit he deserves."
"God forgive me for talking like this, but you shall have the proper sacraments and if that includes burial, burial it shall be."
"God may forgive you, but I'll be damned if I will."
"You're incorrigible. I'm doing what's proper."
"Mary Beth. Take what you think is proper and shove it up your ass."
"Why, I never," she gasped. I sniggered; dad grinned.
"Maybe you should."
The Saturday before Christmas Grandfather took me shopping. Over lunch he again brought up the subject. "James, please, please don't let her bury me." Fear filled his eyes. "It's written in my will, but I know your mother, she will take the ashes and bury them. I don't want my ashes in the f-ing ground. Promise me you'll help me? You're the only one I can trust."
"What can I do?" I asked.
"Use your imagination. Just don't let her bury me."
I looked down at my French Fries. After a moment of tense silence he spoke, "When you're old enough I want you to throw my ashes out of an airplane. I want to have one last jump."