"Yeah."

"Good. Good." There was hesitation in his voice.

Outside the ambulance pulled away. The dim glare of the street lights splintered the blackness. "I got to take a whiz," I said.

"We don't have time. Wait till we get to the hospital."

"It'll only take a second."

"Hold it."

"I'll only be a second."

"NO! DON"T YOU GO NEAR THE BATHROOM" he bellowed. "THAT'S AN ORDER!" His yell shrill like mother's.

I stepped backwards. He never raised his voice to me. His expression told me he would tackle me if need be. That's when I realized something was wrong. "Wait till you get to the hospital. Okay," his voice returned to normal.

"Okay," I mumbled. I was scared.

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The first hints of dawn peeked over the horizon as we pulled into the hospital's parking lot. The ambulance that transported my mother was leaving. A bitter breeze slashed our faces as we crossed the parking lot. Inside, my father was sitting behind a window giving a nurse the necessary information.

"Wait here," Grandfather motioned for me to take a seat. I paged through magazines that littered the waiting room. I stood, I paced, and I sat back down again. In my anxiety I forgot I had to piss. I gazed out the waiting room's window at the stirring signs of life. An occasional car passed, their headlights knifing through the brooding morning. I remembered it was Thanksgiving. I was supposed to go to the Senior High game with Count and his old man. Great timing Mom, I thought.

I was alone in the waiting room, no janitor or stray drunk to keep me company. I flopped into a chair and forced myself to sleep. As I dreamt I felt someone cover me with a blanket. Other voices now shared the waiting room, but I didn't open my eyes.

"She's stable," my father's voice said. "She's going to have to have a D and C."

"Do they say what happened?" grandfather questioned. He was sitting in the chair next to me.

"They're thinking spontaneous abortion."

That's why he didn't want me to go into the bathroom, she aborted my brother in there, I thought. That bitch, can't she ever think of anyone else. I couldn't feign sleep. I opened my eyes to find myself covered with Grandfather's army jacket. "Did she lose the baby?" I asked knowing the answer.

My father looked to Grandfather and than back to me. "Yes." I think my father breathed a sigh of relief.




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