The following September I learned of another tragedy. While I was on extended assignment for my new job - I broke free of the funeral industry in favor of firefighting - word came that Russell perished in a blaze. A pile of charred rubble was all that remained of Wally's and the apartments above the variety store and lunch counter. I stared for hours at the newspaper photograph Diane mailed.

"I tried calling when it happened," Diane told me over the phone. "But, I could only reach your voice mail."

"Did he go quickly?"

"As far as anyone knows."

"Where'd they bury him?"

"Fernwood," Diane answered. "Listen James, I know you. I know how you feel about Russell. Don't feel like you need to rush back. I'd rather you save your money and come back for the holidays."

"You're probably right," I conceded. Three days later, I landed in Philadelphia. Driving through Beyford under the cover of darkness, I headed towards Indian Point, parking the rental car next to the railroad tracks where Count parked the powder fairy blue pickup.

I crossed the trestle, only this time instead of Shannie and Count at my sides, I carried a gallon of diesel and a shovel. Atop Indian Point I dismantled the bogus monument and set it ablaze.

The view from Indian point that late summer night couldn't compare to the view in front of me today. From atop Mount Sentinel, I peer over Missoula and the snow covered Bitterroots. Winter here is beautiful. I wish I could share it with Shannie. In a sense, that's what I was about to do. In my hand I turn Shannie's envelope round and round. With a sigh I opened the envelope marked: "Do not open prior to my thirtieth birthday!"

Shannie @ 30

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We finally meet. The person I couldn't wait to be. Are you as nervous looking back at me as I am imaging you? I guess I should tell you what I think you're like, but I have so many questions for you. What's your life like? Have you lived like I promised? Did you marry Just James? Ewwwwww! Okay, whatever, I still think he's cute!

I think you're a lawyer. I think you've written your first book. I don't think you have any kids. You either still live in Beyford or you moved to Florida, you know all that fun in the sun. You didn't make your first million yet, but you're close. But most of all, I know you're happy!

Answer honestly. Have you lived like I promised? Did you make a million dollars yet? Did you give it away? Remember that's the deal! What's it like to be an adult? Do you still think what father was like? Do you really think he's dead? Are you in love? Are you married? Not to Just James? Ewwwwww! Do you give of yourself? Have you made the world a better place? Are you happy?




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