"Don't start? Don't you start asshole. What the hell's your problem? Dickwad!"

"I don't have…" I began.

"Shut up!" Shannie yelled.

"…a problem," I continued.

"Shut up!"

I turned away. Linda was watching. I waved as Shannie pulled away. We drove in another uneasy silence. Even the radio knew to be quiet. The silence allowed me to pay homage to the shrine of my wretchedness. Shannie mistook my silence as self-righteousness, she never understood my level of self-contempt.

"If you're not going to ask me about my good news, I'm going to tell you anyway," Shannie said.

I glanced from the floor towards Shannie. Don't you know misery loves company? I thought. Good news meant I was closer to losing her, especially if it had anything to do with Genise.

"Princeton Law accepted me. I'm going to Princeton. I start this fall." Despite our spat, her enthusiasm bubbled over.

"Really?" I mumbled, inadvertently unenthusiastic.

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"Really," Shannie chirped.

"That's great," I droned in an uninspired monotone. "I'm happy for you."

"You know, why can't you be happy for me? Geezus Pete, this is the biggest thing that ever happened to me and you don't give a shit. Just forget it, Okay?"

"I said I was happy for you," I protested.

"Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit," Shannie pounded the steering wheel. "Your words say one thing, your tone says another. You know, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck…"

"…It's a poodle," I interjected.

Shannie rolled her eyes. Silence settled between us. I watched her as she drove. From somewhere I snatched courage. "Admit it. you're madly in love with me," My voice full of conviction. I caught her shocked glance before she quickly turned her attention back to the road. "Why are you blushing?" I asked.

"I am not."

"You are too," I countered.

"No I'm not."

"Are to."

We were like two kids - it reminded me of our arguments on Shannie's long gone swing set.

"Whatever," Shannie said.

I lost my courage as quickly as I found it. I returned to studying my boots. This time the radio had the good sense to play, until Shannie -with a sigh - shut it off. Eddie Veter crooned about finding a better man.

I turned the radio back on. "Leave it on, That's a great tune."




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