"Spare me the bullshit, Okay. If nothings wrong why am I here? I'll tell you why I'm here, I'm a goddamn sped. I'm brain damaged, and I'm never going to be right again."

"You finished?" Krista implored.

I nodded.

"Thank you. I was going to say there's nothing wrong with you outside of the brain injury, which means something's bothering you."

"Oh Jesus Christ, Here we go."

"I'm not Jesus Christ, I'm Jewish."

I laughed and laughed at her comment. A symptom of my brain injury was inappropriate laughter. When I returned to earth, I forgot what we were talking about.

"So, what's bothering you James?"

Smiling as I puzzled, I said, "I can't remember." I burst into another fit of laughter. During our next session Krista asked if either Jerome's death and/or the discovery that my father and Diane's were seeing each other were the underlying issue of my setbacks.

"I don't remember this Jerome kid. Shannie acts like I was friends with him. Maybe I was, I don't remember."

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"Tell me about Ellie," Krista beseeched.

"My dog Ellie?"

"Yes. Tell me about Ellie."

"She's my girl," I smiled. I told Krista how Ellie out willed me over sleeping arrangements. "But, what, what," I stuttered, losing my train of thought, "what does Ellie have to do with that kid, Godamnit, I can't remember his name."

"Jerome," Krista replied.

"Yeah that. What does my dog have to do with Jerome?"

"You tell me."

"I don't know," I said with a huff. "Doesn't make any sense to me."

"Does your father like your dog?" Krista inquired.

"I think so," I hesitated. "Yeah," I answered with more confidence, remembering how he delighted in Ellie following him around or how I busted him slipping her table scraps. "He likes her more than he'd admit."

"How so?" Krista pried.

"I think, I think he's lonely. You know, ever since my mother bolted. Yeah, he's lonely. I mean, besides his job, he doesn't talk to people. I think, yeah, he misses my mom. He never talks to anyone except Diane. Yeah, I think he needs to get laid."

Krista laughed. I enjoyed watching her neck as she threw her head back and how the ends of her hair curled forward not quite reaching the sides of her neck. I laughed because she laughed. I liked making Krista laugh.




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