"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"You slept all weekend."

"I was tired."

"We were at the shore." Passing headlights silhouetted her profile.

"Sorry for not sleeping on the beech."

"Geezus Pete Just James. You walk around like a zombie. All you do is work in Fernwood and sleep." Shannie sighed. "No offense, you don't have a life. If I don't drag you somewhere you'll sleep all day. You're fucking depressed. I'm worried about you, I think you might kill yourself or something."

"I think of or something all the time."

"I'm serious."

"I'm seriously tired."

"Whatever," Shannie said.

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We drove in silence until I uttered: "Okay, maybe I don't have a life, but I don't sleep all day."

"What were you doing on Genise's floor till four this afternoon?"

"I was tired," I protested.

"From what?" Shannie challenged.

"You want to help me?"

Shannie took my hand. "Of course I do."

"This is what you can do. Be with me or stay out of my life!"

"I'm not going to stay out of your life. That's not an option. I don't care what you say! I love you too much to drop out of your life! Geezus Pete, look at all we've been through. We have to stay together."

"If I'm so important, stop going to Atlantic City," I said.

"Oh no you don't! No one, No One, tells me how to live my life. Not you! Not Diane! Not No ONE!" Shannie's voice rose.

"Ought Oh. Double Negative."

"FUCK YOU!" Shannie shouted.

We didn't speak all the way home. Shannie broke our silence in the Ortolan's driveway. "You think I'm a freak, don't' you?" The outline of her faced glimmered under the streetlight - the same light Count was known to kick out. I didn't answer. I opened the door and slipped into the night. "I'm not a freak," Shannie cried.

Too upset to sleep, I slithered down Cemetery Street, past Lucas's Funeral Parlor, over the railroad tracks and across vacant lots that were once giant factories. I sat upon an uprooted tree hovering above the Schuylkill River. Watching the water ripple under a full moon, I promised myself better. It was time to move on. I was tired of atrophying into a spineless slug.

***

Weeks had passed since we spoke. It was the longest we'd ever gone without talking. God knows but not for the arrival of another female in my life, Shannie and I wouldn't have spoke again. Her name was Eleanor Rigby, I called her Ellie. She was affectionate, a bit demanding, and sometimes trying. More than anybody, I credit her with snapping me out of my funk. Shannie fell in love with her and Ellie took a liking to Shannie. Ellie took a liking to anyone who offered her treats.




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