1630 More bad news. The medics are passing out pills that counter and pre-treat the effects of nerve gas, everyone's under order to take 'em. The higher ups have to be thinking the Iraqis are coming and bringing their big toys. I do my best to keep my guys calm. Just keep your Mopp4 's handy. Goddamn NBC suits, I hate the idea of having to wear 'em. You can't move in 'em! You can't fight in 'em. Especially being outnumbered 20 to 1.

Big morale boost. 1st Cav is moving behind us; I don't feel good being their screening force. I like to have their muscle up here. A tank or two would be comforting. I'll feel better when we can dig ourselves in. The alternative firing positions are almost dug for the TOWS.

2045 The TOWS are in! We got our own foxholes dug. It started to pour again. Now the fight is to keep water out. There ain't no buckets out here and spades are about useless: ponchos work best. It's cold and raw. I'm shivering. This place is chalk full of extremes. I'm glad to have a hole, at least we'll have a place to hump when the Iraqis start throwing hot steel.

***

Jan 15th 1991

0345 The heavy work is done, just stay alert. Easier said than done! I'd rather be digging, it occupies the mind. My guys are on edge, I'm trying my best to keep 'em calm. Rumor says it's a matter of hours before the Iraqis visit. Just gotta keep my boys settled This writing keeps me sane. It gives my squad the appearance I have it together. I've got to be a better role model. God, I feel like I'm losing it, I hope no one notices.

Their questions grate me. When do you think they're coming? Do we have a chance sarge? Will we be tortured? How many I don't knows can I give? Will they lose faith? It's starting to happen already, the vacant looks, the disgusted spits, the distracted kicks of gravel. Just keep sucking it up and pitch the party line.

I make rounds. I go foxhole hopping. I jump into my guy's foxholes, tell 'em over and over to make sure they're dug in deep enough; I remind them to keep their weapons dry and clean, and to make sure their Mopp4's are handy. I remind them to keep an eye on their buddy, make sure their head's on tight, we don't need someone's brains falling out. I pat them on the back and moved to the next foxhole.

***

0445 During my last round I made a bargain with God, pretty good for someone who ain't a churchgoer. I asked him again to stop the Iraqis from coming. If they come, they leave there chems and bios behind. If they're coming that they fight fair, so we can duke it out with bullets and bombs.

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