"My father was transferred."
"Who's he work for?"
"Bechtel."
"We got ourselves a nuke." He threw his hands in the air. "Next thing you know the tombstones will glow."
"They'll hum too!" Shannie added.
"I'll never get a good night's sleep. I don't know what would be worse, the humming or my son's gotdamned Stereo" He took another bite. "I shouldn't complain, your old man could keep me in business for a long time."
The bear pounded the table with his right paw, rolled his immense butt off the seat and let go of the loudest, longest fart ever. "Shit, I told them not to use so much oregano," he said.
"Jesus Leroy," a lady's voice cried from another room. "That's out of bounds."
Laughing I pulled my shirt over my nose.
"Check your pants - better have not ruined another pair."
"Hush now Flossy, that's no way to speak when we have company."
The bear turned his attention to the hoagie.
"When you going to learn yourself some manners?" the voice echoed.
"I ain't doing what no one else doesn't."
"Hi there doll." The short lady said as she walked into the room. "Oh Jesus That's foul." She fanned her nose.
Shannie had her shirt over her nose, partially hiding her red face and tearing eyes. She was trying not to laugh. "In front of company. You should be ashamed of yourself," Flossy said. My eyes teared; my face burned. The little lady playfully slapped the bear across the back of his head. Standing, she was as tall as the seated giant.
"Like you never farted Flossy."
"I don't do those sorts of things."
"She can play the wind chimes, if you know what I mean."
Shannie's face was purple.
"Pish-Posh you old fool." She waved her hand.
The Bear wiped his face. "I got holes to dig and stiffs to plant. Nice meeting you James." He winked at Shannie." See ya around Doll." Shannie's eyes followed the bear out the door. He climbed into a ratty faded blue pickup truck - Shannie called it powder fairy blue. With a cough the truck started and backed out of view.
The Lightmans lived in a converted church. After The Bear left the army - he spent two tours in Vietnam - he bought the cemetery, converted the church and settled into civilian life. As Flossy rattled on, one of the Bear's helpers clomped into the kitchen. "Hey Shannie," he said.