But, he suddenly realized, he hadn’t been fair to Megan by protecting her from the reality of a future with him. Didn’t she deserve to have all the data at hand before she agreed to love him back?
His gut twisted at the way she’d told him to go, at the uncertainty in her previously clear eyes as she looked at him as if her heart were breaking.
Able to see the smoke from several blocks away, Gabe drove in as close as he could before grabbing his gear from the bed of his truck, and walking straight toward the fiery mess in the center of Chinatown.
Gabe could hear gas screaming from the ruptured pipes of the gas main the truck had slammed into right before it hit the buildings on the east side of Grant Street. The crew from Engine 5 was already streaming water to disperse the gas to make sure it didn’t ignite.
Quickly noting the crew had been too busy with the gas leak and the building’s occupants to lay a supply line around to the narrow alley between buildings, he grabbed the hydrant valve, hose from the nearest engine, and laid in the line.
His captain arrived with his partner, Eric, just a step behind him. “Let’s see if we can save some of these stores.”
Gabe grabbed tools and the hose line, put on his face piece, and pulled up his hose. He took the nozzle with Eric backing him up and advanced into the building. Turning into the doorway, he opened the nozzle at the ceiling until the flames subsided.
He didn’t have any ventilation and the smoke was thick, thick enough that he dropped to his knees to crawl across the room to a window. He got it open but, unfortunately, it didn’t make much of a difference.
Slowly, he moved forward into the building, the hose leading the way, Eric at his back.
The situation was bad. Really bad.
But he’d made Megan a promise, damn it.
And he had to keep it.
No matter what.
Chapter Twenty-seven
Megan couldn’t do it.
She’d known all along that she wasn’t strong enough to be with a man who risked his life every day. It was what she’d told Gabe over and over. Immediately after their first kiss, and then again after their first night together. She’d tried to make him understand how impossible this was for her, had tried to keep her heart safe from falling.
But, oh, how she’d wanted to be with him, how she’d wanted the thrill of his kisses, the warmth of his smile, the special connection he had with Summer. So she’d tried.
She’d really tried.
But the panic that had slammed into her when he’d told her about the fire, about the hazardous materials…no, there was no way she could handle being this terrified on a daily basis.
Even after Gabe left his apartment to head for Chinatown, Megan remained right where she was, in his bed, surrounded by his scent, his things, wanting to feel even that small connection a little longer.
Mere minutes ago, she’d been about to take the biggest risk of her life by telling him she loved him and she’d thought that was so difficult. But now she knew what would be infinitely harder: telling him goodbye.
Forever.
As she finally left his apartment, she was followed by the wonderful memories of being with him. Sitting on his lap looking out at the city lights, watching—and creating—fireworks up on the roof, slipping and sliding together in the bathtub, and then curling up with him in his bed. Warm. And safe, so much safer than she’d ever felt before.
No. She couldn’t let herself think about any of that.
She needed to go home. Get to work. Stay focused on her client’s spreadsheets until it was time to pick Summer up from school. And then, when Gabe came back from the fire—if he came back—she’d steel herself to make the final break with him.
Her steps faltered as she slowly walked along the sidewalk. How much easier would her life have been if she’d never met Gabe? If some other firefighter had saved her and Summer, and she’d simply have continued her normal life—meeting with clients, taking care of paying the bills, raising her daughter the best she knew how...and dating perfectly nice men with safe jobs.
No question about it, that safety was what she should have been wishing for.
But now that she’d tasted real joy, utter sweetness, she knew anything else would be bland. Boring.
Oh God, she was in trouble.
Because even though she was terrified about letting herself love Gabe, wholly and completely, she couldn’t seem to save herself—and her daughter—by walking away from him either.
All the rational arguments, all the spreadsheets and calculations of risk versus reward in the world couldn’t stop Megan from turning in the opposite direction...straight toward the dark smoke spiraling up from the busy streets of Chinatown.
* * *
It was worse than she could have imagined. So much worse. Not only were several buildings on fire, but there was singed food and clothes from the stores all over the street, rolling down gutters running fast with the water from the fire engines.
As Megan moved through the crowd she caught snippets of conversation about the fire.
“Do they know what the hazardous materials are yet?”
“I heard it was a gas leak that could blow the buildings sky high.”
“I’m scared, Mommy. Are the firefighters going to be okay?”
A line of police officers was holding people back along the street, behind a row of fire engines. She had no idea how they’d managed to get the engines into the narrow street, through the crowds of cars and people.
A moment later a sudden burst of flames shot up out of the roof of one of the stores just to the side of the truck’s smashed-in engine.