10
I drove. Asher gave directions. He also hung on the back of the seat. I didn't ask him to buckle up for safety. Jean-Claude sat in the passenger seat next to me, silent, not looking at Asher or me.
"Something's wrong," Jean-Claude said.
I glanced at him. "You mean besides the council coming to town?" He shook his head. "Can't you feel it?"
"I don't feel anything."
"That is the problem." He turned as far as the seat belt would let him and met Asher's eyes. "What is happening to my people?"
Asher sat so his face showed perfectly in the rearview mirror, as if he wanted me to see him. He smiled. His whole face moved when he smiled. The scarred skin had muscles underneath. Everything seemed to work just fine except for the scars. The look on his face was smug, self-satisfied. The kind of joy that cats get from tormenting mice.
"I do not know what is happening to them, but you should. You are--after all--Master of the City."
"What's going on, Jean-Claude? What else is wrong?" I asked.
"I should be able to feel my people, ma petite. If I concentrate, it is like . . . background noise. I can feel the ebb and flow of them. In extreme duress I can feel their pain, their fear. Now I am concentrating, and it is like a blank wall."
"Balthasar's master has kept you from hearing the cries of your vampires," Asher said.
Jean-Claude's hand lashed out in a blur of speed that was almost magical. He grabbed Asher's coat collar, twisting it into a choking ring. "I-have-done-nothing-wrong. They have no right to harm my people."
Asher didn't try to get away. He just stared at him. "There is an empty seat on the council for the first time in over four thousand years. Whoever empties that seat takes that seat. That is the law of succession."
Jean-Claude released Asher slowly. "I don't want it."
"You shouldn't have killed the Earthmover, then."
"He would have killed us," I said.
"Council's privilege," Asher said.
"That's ridiculous," I said. "You're saying because we didn't roll over and die, we're going to be killed now?"
"No one has come here planning to kill anyone," Asher said. "Believe me, that was my vote, but I was the minority. The council just wants to make sure that Jean-Claude isn't trying to set up his own little council."
Jean-Claude and I both looked at him. I had to swing my attention back to the road before I was ready to stop being astonished.
"You are babbling, Asher," Jean-Claude said.
"Not everyone is happy with the current council's rules. Some say they are old-fashioned."
"People have been saying that for four hundred years," Jean-Claude said.
"Yes, but until now there was no alternative. Some see your refusal of the council seat as a blow for a new order."
"You know why I did not take it."
Asher laughed, a low roll that played along my skin. "Whatever do you mean, Jean-Claude?"
"I am not powerful enough to hold a council seat. The first challenger would sense that and kill me, then they would have my council seat. I would be a stalking-horse."
"Yet you killed a council member. How did you manage that, Jean-Claude?" He leaned on the back of my seat. I could feel him. He picked up a curl of my hair, and I jerked my head away.
"Where the hell are we going? You were supposed to give directions," I said.
"There is no need for directions," Jean-Claude said. "They have taken the Circus."
"What?" I stared at him, and the only thing that kept the Jeep from swerving was luck. "What did you say?"
"Don't you understand yet? The Traveler, Balthasar's master, blocked my powers and the powers of my vampires, and kept them from reaching out to me."
"Your wolves. You should have felt something from your wolves. They're your animal to call," I said.
Jean-Claude turned to Asher. "Only one vampire could have kept my wolves from calling out for help. The Master of Beasts."
Asher rested his chin on the back of my seat. I felt him nod.
"Get off my seat," I said.
He raised his head but didn't really move back.
"They must think me powerful indeed to send two council masters," Jean-Claude said.
Asher made a harsh sound. "Only you, Jean-Claude, would be arrogant enough to believe that two council masters came to this country just for you."
"If not to teach me a lesson, then why are they here?" Jean-Claude asked.
"Our dark queen wished to know how this legality is working for the vampires in the States. We have traveled from Boston to New Orleans to San Francisco. She chose what cities we would visit, and in what order. Our dark queen left St. Louis, and you, for last."
"Why would she do that?" Jean-Claude asked.
"The Queen of Nightmares can do anything she likes," Asher said. "She says go to Boston, we go."
"If she said, walk out into the sunlight, would you do it?" I asked. I glanced at him. He was close enough that turning my head was enough, no mirror needed.
His face was blank and beautiful, empty. "Perhaps," he said.
I turned back to the road. "You're crazy, you're all crazy."
"Too true," Asher said. He sniffed my hair.
"Stop that."
"You smell of power, Anita Blake. You reek of the dead." He traced his fingers along my neck.
I swerved the Jeep purposefully, sending him sliding around the back seat. "Don't touch me."
"The council thought we would find you stuffed with power. Bloated with new-found abilities, yet you seem much the same. But she is different. She is new. And there is that werewolf. Yes, that Ulfric, Richard Zeeman. You have him bound to you, as well."
Asher pulled himself back up to the seats, though not so close to me. "It is your servants who have the power. Not you."
"Is Padma anything without his animals?" Jean-Claude asked.
"Very true, though I might not say so in front of him." He leaned on the back of the seats again, not touching me this time. "So you admit it is your servants who have given you the power to take a council member."
"My human servant and my wolf are merely extensions of my power. Their hands are my hands; their deeds, my deeds. That is council law. So what does it matter where my power comes from?"
"Quoting council law, Jean-Claude. You have grown cautious since last we met."
"Caution has served me well, Asher."
"But have you had any fun?" It was a strange question coming from someone who was supposed to hate Jean-Claude.
"Some, and you, Asher how fares it with you? Are you still serving the council, or did you come along on this mission to torment me?"
"Yes, to both questions."
"Why have you not fled the council?"
"Many aspire to serve them," Asher said.
"You didn't."
"Perhaps revenge has changed my aspirations."
Jean-Claude laid his hand on Asher's arm. "Ma petiteis right. Hatred is a cold fire, and it gives no warmth."
Asher jerked back, sliding as far back as the seat would let him. I glanced in my rearview mirror. He was huddled in the dark, hugging himself. "When I see you weep for your beloved, I will have all the warmth I need."
"We'll be at the Circus soon," I said. "What's the plan?"
"I am not sure there is a plan. We must assume they have all our people in thrall. So it will be only what the two of us can do alone."
"Are we going to try and take the Circus back, or what?"
Asher laughed. "Is she serious?"
"Always," Jean-Claude said.
"Fine. What are we supposed to do?"
"Survive if you can," Asher said.
"Shut up," I said. "This is what I need to know, Jean-Claude. Do we go in there kicking butt, or crawling?"
"Would you crawl to them, ma petite?"
"They have Willie, Jason, and who knows how many others. So, yeah, if it would keep them safe, I'd do a little crawling."
"I do not think you would be very good at it," Jean-Claude said.
"I'm not."
"But no, no crawling tonight. We are not strong enough to retake the Circus, but we go in, as you say, kicking butt."
"Dominant?" I made it a question.
"Oui."
"How dominant?"
"Be aggressive, but not foolish. You may wound anyone you are capable of hurting, but do not kill. We do not want to give them an excuse."
"They think you've started a revolution, Jean-Claude," Asher said from the darkness. "Like all revolutionaries, dead you become a martyr. They don't want you dead."
Jean-Claude turned so he could see the other vampire. "Then what do they want, Asher? Tell me."
"They have to make an example of you. Surely you see that."
"If I had planned on forging a second council in America, yes, I would see their point. But I know my limitations. I cannot hold a council seat against all comers. It would be a death sentence. I want simply to be left alone."
Asher sighed. "It is too late for that, Jean-Claude. The council is here, and they will not believe your protestations of innocence."
"You believe him," I said.
He was quiet for a few seconds, then said, "Yes, I believe him. The one thing Jean-Claude has always done well is survive. Challenging the council is not a good way to do that." Asher slid forward against the seats, putting his face very near mine. "Remember, Anita, that all those years ago, he waited to save me. Waited until he knew he wouldn't be caught. Waited until he could save me at the least risk to himself. Waited until Julianna was dead, because it was too great a risk to take."
"That is not true," Jean-Claude said.
Asher ignored him. "Be careful that he does not wait to save you."
"I don't wait around for anybody to save me," I said.
Jean-Claude stared out the window at the passing cars. He was shaking his head gently, back and forth, back and forth. "I tire of you already, Asher."
"You tire of me because I speak the truth."
Jean-Claude turned and faced him. "No, I tire of you because you remind me of her, and that once, a very long time ago, I was almost happy."
The two vampires stared at each other. "But now you have a second chance," Asher said.
"You could have a second chance, too, Asher. If you would only let the past go."
"The past is all I have."
"And that is not my fault," Jean-Claude said. Asher slid back into the darkness, huddling against the seat. I thought Jean-Claude had won the argument for now. But just call it a feeling; I didn't think the fight was over.
11
The Circus of the Damned is in a converted warehouse. From the front it looks like a carnival with posters promoting the freak show, and dancing clowns twirling on top of the glowing sign. From the back, it's just dark.
I pulled the Jeep into the small parking lot reserved for employees. It was small because most of the help lived at the Circus. No need for a car if you never left. Here was hoping we'd be needing our car.
I turned off the engine, and silence swirled into the car. Both vampires had sunk into that utter stillness that made me have to glance at them to make sure they were still there. Mammals can freeze, but a rabbit frozen waiting for the fox to pass is a vibrating thing. It breathes fast and faster. Its heart pounds. Vampires are more like snakes. A snake will put a length of its body out, then freeze. There is no sense of movement stopped. No sense that movement will continue. In that moment of frozen time a snake seems unreal, more like a work of art, something carved rather than something alive. Jean-Claude seemed to have fallen into a well of silence where movement, even breath, was forbidden.
I glanced back at Asher. He sat in the back seat. Utterly still, a perfect golden presence, but not alive.
The silence filled the Jeep like icy water. I wanted to clap my hands, yell, anything to make noise, to startle them into being again. But I knew better. All I'd get would be a blink and a look. A look that wasn't human and maybe never had been.
The sound of my dress against the upholstery was loud. "Will they pat me down for weapons?" My voice seemed flat in the charged silence.
Jean-Claude blinked gracefully, then turned his neck to look at me. The look was peaceful rather than empty. I had begun to wonder if the stillness was a form of meditation for the vampires. Maybe if we lived through the night I'd ask.
"This is a challenge, ma petite. They will let us be dangerous. Though I would not flaunt your weaponry. Your little gun is fine."
I shook my head. "I was thinking of more."
He raised his eyebrows. "More?"
I turned to look at Asher. He blinked and raised his eyes to me. I hit the dome light and saw his eyes' true color for the first time. They were blue. But that didn't do them justice. They were as pale a blue as Jean-Claude's were a dark blue. Pale, cold, blue, the startling color of a Husky's eyes. But it wasn't just the eyes, it was the hair. It had looked golden, but the normal gold of a dark blond. In the truer light of the car, I realized it wasn't just illusion and dim light, it was gold. His hair was the truest gold I'd ever seen outside of a bottle or a can of metallic paint. The combination of hair and eyes was amazing. Even without the scars he wouldn't have looked real.
I glanced from one vampire to the other. Jean-Claude was the more beautiful, and it wasn't the scars. Asher was just a trace more handsome than he was pretty. "The same vamp made you both, right?" I asked.
Jean-Claude nodded.
Asher just stared at me.
"Where'd she go?" I asked. "Unnaturally-Beautiful-Studs-R-Us?"
Asher let out a harsh bark of laughter. He dragged his fingers down the scarred side of his face, making the skin stretch, drawing it away from his eye so you could see the pale inner flesh of the eye socket. He emphasized everything into a kind of hideous mask. "Do you think I am beautiful, Anita?" He released the skin, and it snapped back into place, resilient, perfect in its own way.
I looked at him. "What do you want me to say, Asher?"
"I want you to be terrified. I want to see on your face what I've seen on every face for the last two hundred years--disgust, derision, horror."
"Sorry," I said.
He leaned into the seats, showing the scars to the light. He seemed to have an innate sense of what any light would do to the wounds, to know just how the shadows would fall. Years of practice, I guess.
I just looked at him. I met his pale, perfect eyes, gazed on the thick waves of golden hair, the fullness of his lips. I shrugged. "What can I say? I'm a hair and eye person, and you have great hair and amazing eyes."
Asher threw himself back into his seat. He gazed at us both, and there was such rage in his eyes. Such horrible rage that it scared me.
"There," he said. "There, you're afraid of me. I can see it, smell it, taste it." He smiled, pleased with himself, triumphant somehow.
"Tell him what you fear, ma petite."
I glanced at Jean-Claude, then back at Asher. "It's not the scars, Asher. It's your hatred that's frightening."
He leaned forward, and I think without meaning to, his hair spilled around his face, camouflaging him. It had the look of long habit, long comfort. "Yes, my hatred is frightening. Terrifying. And remember, Anita Blake, that the hatred is all for you and your master."
I knew he meant Jean-Claude, and I couldn't argue with the title anymore, though sometimes I wanted to. "Hatred makes us all ugly," I said.
He hissed at me, and there was nothing human in the gesture.
I gave him a bored look. "Come off it, Asher. Been there, done that. If you want to play big-bad-vampire, get in line."
He stripped his overcoat off in an abrupt, violent movement. A brown tweed suit jacket ended up crumpled on the seat. He turned his head so I could see that the scars marched down his neck into the collar of his white dress shirt. He started unbuttoning the shirt.
I glanced at Jean-Claude. His face was impassive, unhelpful. I was on my own. So what else was new?
"Not that I don't appreciate the offer, but I don't usually let a man strip down on the first date."
He snarled at me. He bared his chest to the light, shirt still carefully tucked into his pants. The scars dribbled down his flesh like someone had drawn a dividing line down the center of his body. One half pale and perfect, the other half monstrous. They'd been more careful of his face and neck. They had not been careful of his chest. The scars cut deep runnels. The skin so melted that it didn't even look real anymore. The scars flowed down his stomach into the belted top of his pants.
I stared because that's what he wanted me to do. When I could finally meet his eyes, I had no words left. I'd had holy water poured on a vampire bite before. Cleansed, they called it. Torture was another word for it. I'd crawled and cursed and vomited. I couldn't imagine the pain he'd survived.
His eyes were wide and fierce and fearful. "The scars go all the way down," he said.
That left a trail of visuals that I'd been trying to avoid. I thought of a lot of things to say: "Wow," but it seemed too junior high school and cruel; "sorry" was totally inadequate. I spread my hands wide, kneeling on the seat looking at him. "I asked you once before, Asher. What do you want me to say?"
He pushed himself as far away from me as he could, back against the Jeep's door. "Why doesn't she look away? Why doesn't she hate me? Why isn't she disgusted with this body?"
Like he was disgusted. It hung unsaid on the air, but it was there in his eyes, in the way he held himself. Unspoken, the words hung in the air with the weight and push of thunder.
He yelled, "Why don't I see in her eyes what I see in everyone's eyes?"
"You do not see horror in my eyes, mon ami," Jean-Claude said.
"No," Asher said, "I see worse. I see pity!" He opened the car door without turning around. I would have said he fell out of the car, but that isn't true. He floated upward before he could touch the ground. There was a backwash of wind that swept over me like a storm, and he was gone.